You And I

Chapter 5: Restless Thoughts

It was the weekend, a time that was supposed to give me a break from the endless thoughts that had been running through my head all week. But instead of peace, I found myself sinking deeper into my confusion, replaying every interaction with Mei and wondering what it all meant. Did she feel the same way about me? Or was I just overthinking, caught in some high school crush that would eventually fade?

The more I thought about it, the more uncertain I became.

That morning, I dragged myself out of bed, trying to shake off the grogginess from a sleepless night. My family owned a small bakery downtown, and weekends were always busy. Helping out was my usual weekend routine, a way to stay grounded and focus on something other than school. But today, it was impossible to focus on anything but Mei.

As I walked downstairs to the kitchen, the smell of freshly baked bread and pastries greeted me. My mom was already busy, pulling trays of muffins from the oven and preparing the dough for the next batch of croissants. “Good morning, Levi. Ready to help out?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes and trying to wake up. I grabbed an apron and started setting up the front counter, arranging the pastries in the display case and making sure everything looked presentable for the customers.

Normally, this kind of work helped clear my mind. But today, no matter how hard I tried, my thoughts kept drifting back to Mei. Her smile, her laugh, the way she seemed so calm and collected while I was a nervous wreck inside.

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By the time the bakery opened, my mom and I were already in the groove of things. I took orders and worked the register, trying to focus on each customer as they came in. An elderly couple stopped by for their usual coffee and croissants, and a group of students ordered pastries to-go. I greeted them all with the same routine smile, but my mind was still elsewhere.

As the morning rush died down, I found myself staring out the window, watching people pass by on the street, lost in thought. I wondered what Mei was doing. Was she hanging out with friends? Spending time with her family? Did she ever think about me when I wasn’t around?

I couldn’t stop the questions from flooding my mind. Was this really love? I had never felt anything like this before, so how could I be sure? I replayed every moment we had spent together, searching for clues—anything that might hint at how she felt. But no matter how hard I tried to analyze it, I always came up empty-handed.

“Levi, you okay?” my mom asked, breaking me out of my thoughts. She was standing behind the counter, wiping her hands on her apron and eyeing me with concern. “You’ve been staring off into space for a while.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said quickly, snapping back to reality. “Just tired, I guess.”

She gave me a skeptical look but didn’t press the issue. “Why don’t you take a break? I’ve got things under control here.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, retreating to the back of the bakery. I sat down at one of the small tables near the kitchen, resting my head in my hands. I needed to get out of my own head, but no matter what I did, my thoughts kept circling back to Mei.

I pulled out my phone and mindlessly scrolled through social media, hoping for some kind of distraction. But as I scrolled, I saw a picture someone had posted of Mei from the other day—a group photo from one of the events at school. She was smiling, her eyes bright and full of life. And just like that, I was right back where I started.

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The day dragged on, and by the time we closed the bakery in the evening, I was exhausted, both physically and mentally. I helped my mom clean up, putting away the leftover pastries and wiping down the counters. But even as I worked, I couldn’t escape the constant loop of thoughts running through my mind.

That night, as I lay in bed, I stared at the ceiling, replaying the day in my head. Every conversation, every fleeting moment with Mei played like a movie, and I couldn’t turn it off. Was this really what love felt like? The constant overthinking, the sleepless nights, the feeling that no matter what I did, I couldn’t get her out of my mind?

I wanted to talk to someone about it, but I wasn’t ready to admit it out loud. Not to Ryan, not to Yvonne, and definitely not to Mei. I wasn’t even sure what I would say. How could I put into words what I was feeling when I didn’t even fully understand it myself?

I turned over in bed, trying to force myself to sleep. But my mind refused to settle, and all I could think about was the way Mei’s eyes lit up when she smiled, the sound of her laugh, the way she made me feel like the world wasn’t such a confusing place after all.

Was this really love? Or was it just another passing crush? I didn’t know. And that uncertainty was driving me crazy.