fortuitous odds

[25] hell and back

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Taehyung was startled from sleep by the sharp nails that dug into his side. Caged by an immovable grip, buried in stained sheets of pooled sweat and drowning in the slurred whimpers. Something sunk in his stomach to watch the usually subdued boy jolt restlessly in his sleep; trapped inside a fearful recollection of his actions.

"Jungkook?" He whispered against the boy's ear, fingers loosening the grip on his waist. "Love, wake up." Each gentle shake fed into whatever visuals the boy was seeing, his head shaking desperately as he began to cry louder. "Please."

"No... no no no no ... no!" His scream frightened them both, rushing the terrified boy with consciousness as his eyes shot open and he fell to the mattress with a choked sob.

"Hey hey, look at me." Continued Taehyung soothingly, guiding the other's disconnected eyes up to focus on his own. "You're safe. It was just a dream." The reassurances took awhile to fully sink in, Jungkook's breaths heavy and inconsistent. His trembling hands searched for purchase on something warm. Tear stricken face burying deep into Taehyung's neck. Fingers grazed over his scalp, gliding through clumps of sweat stuck strands. "I'm right here. Not going anywhere." He shut his eyes and focused on the chest echoing beneath his ear, slowly syncing his own restless breathing to the rhythmic pattern of life that reminded him he was safe.

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Not even a flicker of reaction was given to the unwanted guest who stood at the door. Visible within Jungkook's peripheral where he sat attempting to lose himself in a book. He hoped that if he blocked out the presence they would disappear. "Jungkook? I wanted to talk." He heard slow steps behind him, tensing up expectantly.

"About what?" His tone was even, a forced calm.

"About us." Elias answered hopefully.

"Then talk." He heard shuffling and the sound of a kitchen chair scraping across the floor before it settled. From his place curled up on the couch he could make out the once father figure watching with his focused stare.

"I know you're still angry. I don't want to push you." Elias started plainly, hoping he didn't mess up his words and make this all worse. "I really want to have this conversation with you looking at me. Can we do that?"

"I don't know."

"Can we try?" Hesitantly Jungkook glanced across, swallowing thickly to see the desperation on the old man's face. The sustained eye contact brought fluttering blinks to his eyes as he tried to hold back the emotional baggage that had been controlling all of his actions in the past week. He put down his book and folded his hands together, making a genuine attempt to focus everything on the man sitting across the room.

"What do you want from me? I've already told you how I feel. A week isn't going to change that."

"Yes, I know. But I wanted to be honest with you about what this week has been like for me." He tried his best not to scoff, so caught up in his own head that the idea of hearing another's experience of the daunting events was maddening. "To see the family you have here warms my heart but it also reminds me I have kept you from that. It fills me with an immense shame. I shouldn't have kept you away from who you are, I should have been truthful. It hurts. I just... I never meant to hide you away from the rest of the world. Chut and I just wanted to keep you safe. You were so little and scared... I feared what the world would do to you."

"That doesn't make what you did better. I could've been something, could've made a difference in the world. You took that away from me the day you decided to hide." Elias dropped his head so that his palms could trace across his scar. They sat in silence for a few minutes and Jungkook watched his every micro movement. "You promised you'd never lied."