Father, Please

Chapter 3: I Exist. I Exist. I Exist.

Author's Note: Title of this Chapter is also a song name from the artist Flatsound!
-

~Flashback 2003~

Cassidy was angry for a moment after hearing that revelation.

"Well, I'm a little glad that Robert isn't my real dad actually."

He did teach her some useful skills but was also very abusive. Mostly verbal.

"I'll never forget what he said to me that day."

~Flashback Ends~

Cassidy wakes up five minutes before the alarm goes off with a pounding headache.

"Wow. Can't believe I fell asleep without my meds."

"I am so thirsty but I don't want to get up yet."

Going back to sleep wasn't an option but laying in bed and staring at the ceiling is.

Her bedroom had one of those lights that looked like a certain body part that grows on a woman's chest.

"Hah."

"JESUS CHRIST!" Cassidy yells.

The alarm finally went off.

"Why is it so loud? I'm not even a deep sleeper anymore."

"Can April hear it? Probably. The neighbors? Hopefully not. Am I going to lower the volume? Nah."

Getting up way too fast and almost passing out wasn't the ideal way to start the day.

"Coffee has water in it. It'll definitely hydrate me."

Humming a catchy tune while waiting for the coffee to brew.

"No cream, no sugar, no flavoring. Exactly how coffee was meant to be drank."

She mindlessly scrolls on Bleeter and takes an ibuprofen for the headache.

There's about an hour to kill before work starts.

"I'm not very hungry but I'll eat some cereal so at least I got something in my stomach."

She's spiraling again.

"Today is gonna be a great day!" Cassidy says to herself.

"I'm manifesting good energy right now."

A little delusional but the right mindset for the day.

-

Cassidy had just logged off for the day.

*Sigh*

She doesn't want to think about work.

She doesn't want to think about "the incident"

She doesn't want to think about anything at all actually.

She just doesn't want to think in general.

"Imagine if I could turn off my brain for a day and just exist."

That kind of thinking isn't healthy.

It's getting worse.

"What should I do now?"

It's too late for lunch but too early for dinner.

April enters the room and immediately notices there's something off with Cassidy.

"Hey Cass, I just wanted to check up on you. Are you okay?" April asks.

There's a pause before Cassidy answers.

"Not really but I don't want to talk about it right now." Cassidy says softly.

"Well, you know I'm always here for ya. Don't forget that." April smiles and nudges Cassidy.

Cassidy doesn't say anything but April knows she got the message.

"April is way too good for me. I really don't deserve her. At all."

-

It's late now but Cassidy hasn't eaten dinner yet.

"I forgot to eat again."

As the credits roll on the tv, she finally gets up to eat something after being a couch potato for the last few hours, plus she promised herself.

Nothing too special. Just some instant noodles.

Walking to the dining table, cup of noodles in hand trying not to spill it.

More mindless scrolling on Lifeinvader this time, while waiting for the noodles to "cook."

"Oh my gosh, I just remembered I was supposed to call my moms' after work today! It's too late now!"

"I better set a reminder on my phone now so I can remember to call them tomorrow."

Hitting her head on the table a few times before realizing there was too much water added and now some of the soup has spilled.

Table soup looks real delicious right now.

She opted for wiping it instead.

Can't stop thinking about what happened yesterday.

That one specific interaction with "him."

The first interaction with her "real" dad and it goes horribly wrong.

Can't stop thinking about how she could've done things differently.

Probably shouldn't have "broken in".

Probably shouldn't have come on that SPECIFIC day.

Probably shouldn't have fucking existed in the first place.

Hitting the palm of her hand on her forehead a few times.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!"

"I could try to get out early tomorrow. I've already put in overtime this week."

"But what about the team?"

"Oh. They'll be fine without me. It's just a few hours."

Shaking her head and smiling knowing that couldn't be further from the truth.

"Eh. There's always tomorrow."