„a Sixer, please."

invitation and compartments

POV Ford

The Shack was quiet. The twins are outside, Stan is in the shop with Soos and Wendy and Bill is still sleeping or simply doesn't want to leave his room.
He doesn't miss anything anyways, because Stan gave him a day off out of pity.

I sat in the kitchen still my mind surrounded by Bill. Even without his mindscape power he still haunts my mind. Even in the two years after Weirdamagedon before Bill came here there was never a day where I didn't think about him.

I should really give him a chance. I should have given him one the day he came here.
I shouldn't have my hate towards him consume me like that.

And I also have to reach out to the axolotl.
He wrote that he locked Bills powers away, but Bill managed to break our bound.
My theory is that it was because of his overwhelming emotions that came through our fight. He is still emotionally unstable due to his mental state, that got better but is still shaky. And due to him having a human vessel.
I once heard how Bill and Stanley talked about that topic and Bill admitting that he never felt such emotions before and has trouble to name them.
Maybe the axolotl has a way to seal his powers deeper away and could help with the emotion issues.

I really hope that the bound broke because of these emotions and not because he actually got his powers back. I would like to run some tests on him, but I can't use him as a lab rat again. I feel way to guilty to have him down there again.

My thoughts got distributed by a loud scream.
It took me a moment till I realised that Bill was the one screaming.
I jumped up and made my way to his room.

I opened the door and saw a very pale looking Bill in the bed. He seemed like he hadn't noticed me yet so I made my way to him
„Bill?", the boy twitches and turns his head to me.
„What are you doing here?", he asks squeezing his eye.
„I heard your scream and wanted to make sure that you're alright"
„Oh? What do you care? I'm just a monster not worth of people who care for me. You said that yourself Sixer.", he snarls and crosses his arms.

I sighed heavily and kneeled down to his level.
„Look Bill, I really do worry about you right now. When i searched for you i found you on the floor on shattered glass. If you would be the old you it would be normal since you loved the pain, but now you are different. And it's out of character for you to just sleep in literal glass.", I explained to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

The blond boy just chuckled mockingly. „So now I'm different but before you said that I would never be able to change. Choose Sixer.", he said frowning his eyebrows.

„Bill please-" „No!", he said and backed away from me. „I don't want to talk with you right now! I don't even understand you, like what the actual fuck goes on in that supposed to be smart brain of yours? The one moment you're all nice and caring, in the next you tell me how shitty I am. You could just lock me up in your nerdy lab again and beat me up after treating my wounds you made. It's literally the same. The only difference is that you're beating me emotionally now.", he said angry and his pointy ears moved downwards.

He looked so cute when his ears did this kind of stuff, but it's less cute when I remember that it's my fault he felt like that.

I stayed quiet because I didn't know what to say. He was right. It's the same as in the lab. Just that it is emotionally now and not physically. 
But I wonder why he still rather wants the physical pain than the emotional? Probably because he has more problems with all these to him unknown emotions than pain.

Some quite minutes passed. Non of us said anything. Bill was hugging his pillow to his chest and I kneeled next to his bed lost in my thoughts.

I think I would just mess his emotions more up when we talked now so I got an idea.
„Hey...I know you don't want to talk right now, but just that you know, i will be star gazing tonight. You can also come up to the rooftop later if you want, alright?", I said to him. I knew he needed some time to reflect his new emotions and that I shouldn't keep poking him. After all I still am unsure how his emotions can use his locked up powers. It's too risky now.