LOVE, LOSS, LEYSIN LOOKING

TOGETHER AGAIN BUT SO AWKWARD Chapter 2

The clock, the watch seemed to drag slowly for both of them. Both Agnetha and Bjorn were counting the hours, minutes, moments until she would come to what until recently had been their marital home. Each felt a strong anticipation, wondering just how it would be, to suddenly be under the same roof again, especially as Agnetha was to stay the night. There would only be metres, a few short footsteps between them, only this between them and a moment both yearned for, to be together again, to become once more the lovers they had been. As Agnetha attempted to busy herself, packing the remaining items in the cases of both Linda and Christian, she found her mind wandering, drifting off to Bjorn, seeing his handsome face in her mind and thinking ahead to the night to come. How would he react to her being there again? He'd asked her to stay, there was logic in his thought, there really was no sense for them to be apart seeing as they were about to head off to Switzerland, it made no practical sense for them to be running between two houses, when it was so easy to just be under one roof and leave from there. She sighed and for a moment sat on the bed she now slept in. She looked at the bed and sighed again "This isn't my bed or my home babe. I belong where you are Bjorn Kristian Ulvaeus! Tonight is going to be a real test, especially for me, when I know you are so close, almost close enough to touch! This could get awkward and yet...I sort of wish it would!" she was mumbling to herself, a habit she'd begun in recent weeks, the silence, the emptiness without Bjorn was often too much for her to bear and she'd started chattering to herself to fill the void, fill the silence with the sound of a voice, to silence the deafening noise of his voice, his image in her mind. Linda, being sensitive just like her Mother had senses something bothering her and as Agnetha sat quietly on her bed, thinking of things that she really shouldn't, Linda came and sat with her, and soon as she felt her place an arm around her shoulder Mamma, what's wrong? You seem sad" Agnetha smiled gently "Baby girl it's nothing you need to worry about. You and Christian, you bring me such joy. I was just thinking about later, about Switzerland and the flight. All those kind of grown up things. You don't need to worry about that though' Linda smiled sweetly, as was her nature "I'm really looking forward to....Swisserland?" Agnetha smiled and gently, tenderly ran a hand through her young Daughter's hair "Nearly baby. Swit...Zer... Land. Okay? you keep practising and by the time we get there you'll be saying it properly" Linda smiled sweetly and Agnetha attempted to distract herself from her own thoughts of Bjorn "What are you looking forward to most? Hmmm?" Linda giggled in joy "Snow ball fight with Pappa and you! Building a snow man, skiing, all sorts!" Agnetha was happy to see her eldest chid so excited and yet as both got up to continue with what they'd been doing, her own restless mind focused and re focused on the person she was most looking forward to spending time with in Leysin and that of course was Bjorn. Finally after what had seemed like an eternity, the time had come to make her way to Bjorn, a moment she had been longing for all day. Dressing Linda and Christian in their warmest winter outfits and wrapping herself in a thick Blue, long winter coat, gloves and tucking her long hair under the Ushanka hat Bjorn had given her just a couple of winter's previously, she took the cases out to her car and for far from the first or only time wished Bjorn was there to help, to smile and be as gentle and tender as ever. Taking the children to the car, securing them in their seat belts, she wandered around to the left side of her large Volvo estate and slipped into the driver's seat. As she sat down and then remembered to disconnect the car from it's heater she slipped back out and did just that. All the while she was humming a favourite tune from some years before, Homeward Bound by Simon and Garfunkel. She'd always loved the song and them, but now it had extra and significant meaning, because for the first time since she'd left, she was about to indeed be Homeward Bound, to set foot in her former home, to spend time and the night there, close to her estranged husband who she truthfully adored and loved very much still. Back behind the wheel she turned the ignition and the large engine fired instantly to life and she began to inch the car forward, gripping the remote control fob, so as to be able to shut the garage door without leaving the warmth of the car, it's heater blowing out a stream of warm air. As they emerged into the darkening sky, Agnetha wound down her window, aimed and pressed her fob. She watched as the garage door closed behind them and slowly moved towards the gateway, which was already open, watching in both door mirrors, being careful to avoid the concrete pillar on each side. As she drove along the icy road carefully, the spiked, studded winter tyres gripping the road tightly she began to quietly sing Homeward Bound to herself, it wasn't something she'd planned it just came naturally to her, a reflection of her feelings at that moment. A few minutes away at her planned destination, the other half of these star crossed lovers was busying himself, a smile on his face as bright as the Northern Lights, which this part of the World was so famous for. He'd found the day passing slowly, he looked at his watch often only to find a mere few minutes had passed. But as time went on anticipation and excitement over rode all other things and Bjorn set about getting everything ready for the arrival of his true love. First and foremost he finished clearing up and tidying things away, he'd reminded himself again that she'd be mortified to see him slipping into disorganised clutter, the kind of untidy state his home had been in when she first moved in with him and set about making it more comfortable and homely. Having completed this task, which was quite a long one as he'd allowed things to get a little messy, he smiled contentedly and then thought for a moment and snapped his fingers "Yes! That's it! Let's get it set" he smiled again as he set about making sure that everything was exactly where she'd remember it, making her feel instantly at home, something he very much wanted to be the case, to emphasise to her, subtly, that this was her home, where she belonged, with him. Next on his list of things to do was the spare bedroom. It was one thing he wasn't keen on, he'd much prefer it if she shared their bed again. After all they were still legally married and it would therefore be natural for them to sleep in the same bed and as he admitted to himself, he'd take the opportunity to make love to her again. He missed that side of their relationship, along with everything else about their life together. But, in spite of his own wishes and desires, both of which were intense, strong he knew it was not a good idea to pressure her into something. He felt deep inside his own soul that she loved him still, he could see and tell by her reactions to him when they were together, he sensed that she wanted him just as he wanted her. But he did not intend to pressurise her in any way, he would respect her wishes and allow her to stay separately from him and as he made the bed, with clean sheets, pillow cases and a fresh duvet cover he smirked to himself "You can stay here this time my sweet angel. Bu in the future you'll be back in our room, our bed with me, no doubt about that! We'll see about this divorce idea then!" He shook his head and surveyed his handiwork, everything was ready now, save for himself. He wanted to change, to make himself presentable, but first of all it was time to shave. He ran warm water in the sink, spread it over his stubble and rubbed shaving foam over it, before damping his razor and setting about shaving. The blade slid smoothly over his face, clearing the stubble both smoothly and quickly, eventually leaving him clean shaven, his jaw line smooth and soft. He reached for his bottle of Brut after shave and began to dab it lightly on his face, he knew how much she loved this scent on him, in fact it had been her her bought this particular after shave for him often, including the bottle he was using. Pulling the plug, allowing the foam and stubble filled water to drain away, he rinsed the sink clean and washed his hands, before standing up straight and looking at his bare chested reflection in the bathroom mirror "That's better! You look almost presentable! And we know how much she loves Brut don't we! Okay sunshine, go get changed and make her happy" As Bjorn went to complete his transformation into the man she knew so well, in the car Agnetha was excited to be seeing him, her heart thumped whenever she thought of him. In the few short minutes it took to drive to him, she did however begin to also feel apprehensive. She'd not set foot in the house since leaving some weeks beforehand and she began to wonder what it would feel like to be there again, this time as a visitor rather than the lady of the house. In her mind she had a thought of how she'd react if she saw things belonging to another girl there, perfume, make up or Heaven forbid items of clothes and underwear. It would signify that he'd moved on from her, was pursuing girls and potentially leaving her in his past, an unsettling thought that Agnetha instantly dismissed. She knew him so well, she knew enough of him, his outlook on life to know this wasn't him at all, he'd never been a womaniser and no way would he start now. This thought settled her mind and as she turned a corner she came into a very familiar road, in the heart of Lidingo. Linda excitedly screamed as in the distance a familiar house appeared on the horizon "It's home! Yayyy! Yippee! We're going home Christian!"Christian giggled excitedly, he was too young to understand what was going on, but he knew that this was his home, that he belonged there "Home! Pappa! Hooray!" Agnetha had to admit silently to herself that in many ways she was feeling the same way, but unlike her two young Children, she needed to be much more reserved, maintain an air of cool, even though underneath she wanted to cheer too. She simply had to be disciplined, to ensure that nothing awkward happened whilst they were under the same roof. As she drew level with the house her mouth began to go dry as nerves and anticipation fought inside her, she noticed that the gate had been left open for her and as she slowly edged inside the driveway she also noticed the garage door lift, seemingly of it's own accord. Of course the reason for this was Bjorn who was looking out of the window and got a huge feeling of delight as he saw her car pull into the driveway and raced to the adjoining door into the garage and pressed the button to open the door. Agnetha slowly, carefully pulled into the garage and the door closed behind her, she could instantly feel the warmth and not only from the heating in the garage itself, but also in her own heart and from inside the house. Getting Linda and Christian out of the car she plugged it into the heater and took a deep breath as they stepped back outside through a doorway and made their way to the front door. Feet scrunched in the snow and Agnetha reached into her handbag and pulled out a set of keys. She'd much rather ring the bell but Bjorn had insisted she use her keys, on the reasoning that this was as much her home as his. Stepping inside the porch she reached towards the lock and for a moment wondered "What happens from here?" .....