LOVE, LOSS, LEYSIN LOOKING

HOMEWARD BOUND Chapter 14

Agnetha woke, a feeling of warmth and contentment washing over her. This felt so familiar, so right. Her head lay on Bjorn's left shoulder, just as it had done so many times before, she could feel his arms wrapped around her protectively, keeping her warm, safe. It had been a fretful night at certain points, the events of the previous day, the horrible flight, had caught up with her and more than once she woke suddenly from a nightmare, momentarily panicking, only to feel Bjorn holding her, hearing his gentle voice in her ear and soon she settled, finally into a deep sleep. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up, there he was looking at her tenderly, a smile on his handsome face "Morning beautiful one" he spoke quietly and gently kissed her forehead. Agnetha blushed furiously, even now almost a decade after getting together he could make her feel like a love sick teenager, with a huge crush on him "Good morning to you also" she smiled, looking away briefly, trying to hide her blushes, she turned to face him again "I hope you haven't been uncomfortable. By that I mean, physically with me leaning on you. Or in another way, what with everything with us" he shook his head, smiling as he did so "No, not uncomfortable in any way. In fact that was the best night's sleep I've had since we separated" she smiled sadly and gently stroked his chin, covered as it was in a day's stubble, her mind full of thoughts, ideas, all of them pulling her in a different direction "Same for me" she replied quietly and for a few moments both were silent, the words hanging in the air. Finally they rose, washed, dressed and then for a few minutes focused on the children, getting them ready for the day, the flight home was set for midday and some packing was required. Heading downstairs together they wandered casually into the dining room where they found Benny, Frida and Gorel sat at a table awaiting their arrival. Smiled greeted them as they took their seats, Frida had a mischievous look on her face, turning theatrically to Benny and Gorel "I told you so. They've been at it! They're like a couple of rabbits!" laughter filled the air, Agnetha playfully pointed a fork in the direction of her best friend "Watch it lady! Forks fly through the air very well and I'm a good shot!" more laughter followed until they spotted Stig wandering into the room and pointedly sitting at a separate table, dark glasses covered his eyes, but bruises were clear to see after Bjorn had thumped him the day before. Benny nodded in his direction, Bjorn turned to face his manager and one time friend "Nothing to say? No apologies? No thanks for two shows yesterday?" Stig ignored him, then muttered under his breath "Fuck off!" he thought he'd done it quietly enough, but had forgotten the musicians ear of the people behind him. Bjorn and Benny exchanged glances and stood, joining him at his table. Stig looked nervously, fumbling with a morning newspaper, Benny grabbed it and took it from him "Would you like to repeat that Stig? It sounded rather rude and Bjorn and I want to be certain. We wouldn't like to thump you for no reason" Stig gulped "I..I... I..said thanks. Nothing else" he was visibly concerned, even more when Bjorn leaned over the table "You're a liar and not a very good one. We heard exactly what you said. Better watch out when we get back to Sweden. Gothenburg airport has a nice, quiet area leading from the roof. Someone could take a hiding in there and not be noticed" they left him with that thought, before heading outside to fulfil a promise to Linda and Christian for a snowball fight! It was a chance to blow off steam, to relax ahead of what would surely be a flight to stir there nerves after the last effort to travel by air. Linda and Christian revelled in the playful atmosphere, loving the opportunity to throw snowballs at their Parents and Aunts and Uncle. Frida lifted Linda up so that she could plant a large snowball in Bjorn's face, much to his and their delight. Benny meantime got covered in snow, whilst Agnetha and Frida were bombarded by everyone along with Gorel. Finally after 45 minutes of chaos it was time to head indoors and get ready to leave, Christian was giggling happily and announced to everyone "That was even more fun than farting! And as good as doing a poo!" The moment came for them to board a helicopter flight back to Leysin airport. Agnetha's nerves, always a problem for her, had been heightened by the disastrous flight they had suffered. her breathing was rapid, shallow and a nervous look was on her face. She felt Bjorn take her hand gently "We'll be okay, just lean on me" his gentle calm, soothed her, she knew he'd do everything to prevent anything bad from happening to her. The chopper lifted off and she closed her eyes tightly, feeling Bjorn's arm holding her close, she waited, holding her breath until she felt the helicopter level out and turn in mid air. Opening her eyes she let out a breath of sheer relief, blushing as she noticed just how closely she was leaning into Bjorn "Sorry" she whispered, he smiled "What for? I liked it!" she blushed at his flirtatious nature and again wished things could be resolved between them, clearly he loved her still, she'd always known that, but the last few days had reinforced the fact. Arriving back at Leysin airport, they were ushered into a lounge area, to await the chartered flight that Gorel had managed to arrange. Stig sat grumpily apart from them, occasionally looking in their direction, fearing a battering. Frida was curious, wanting to know their plans for Stig "Are you going to do anything to him? he deserves a damn good hammering if you ask me!" Benny laughed, she was normally so gentle and yet here she was, happily suggesting they beat up Stig! "We'll see. he can't get off scot free" he suggested, Frida smirked "Can I give him a kicking? I'd love to boot him where it hurts!" everyone giggled, the image of her landing a kick into Stig's nether regions was amusing. The flight was called quickly and all four headed towards the departure gate, Agnetha's fears were now rising rapidly, the memories of the crash fresh in her mind. She again felt a hand take hers, knowing in an instant that it belonged to Bjorn. In spite of herself and her genuine fears she smiled as he gently led her on board. Settling into their seats and buckling up for take off, he attempted to distract her with small talk, smiling as Linda and Christian entertained Benny and Frida before, following an announcement over the tannoy they taxied down the runway, before a surge of acceleration saw them lift off into a sky almost filled with snowflakes. Agnetha was trembling and again found herself wrapped in Bjorn's loving, tender arms. As they levelled out, assuming a flat trajectory she tentatively looked up, whispering to Bjorn "Are we safe?" he nodded and stroked her hair gently, blushing she realised just how tightly she was clinging onto him and moved a little further away. Once again he'd organised some herbal tea to help soothe her nerves, as she sipped at the warm brew she smiled inwardly to herself, the last few days had proved that there was still something between them, just as she'd both expected and hoped. The flight passed without incident, as they neared Stockholm, her nerves began to rise again, the forecast had suggested heavy snow in their home town and in her mind she could see the crash, still so fresh in her mind. Bjorn sensed her unease and took her in his arms again "Come on, come to me. We're going to be fine, just you see. Before you know it we'll be down and soon you'll be back home" his words partly soothed her, but the last part, referring to home, made her think and feel sad. She had no desire to return to the house she was living in, there was only one place she wanted to be, where she felt she belonged, her marital home. Inwardly she resolved to finally tell him of her thoughts, desires, wishes in the hope he would feel the same way. Landing safely, it was time for now, to say a fond farewell to their best friends, Benny and Frida exchanged hugs with them, kissing the kids, Frida winked "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Agnetha blushed and smiled to her friend and watched them head off arm in arm, wishing that the two of them could walk off in such a fashion. Bjorn rushed off to fetch the car, insisting they remain in the warmth of the terminal building, his absence allowed her time to think, she already missed his presence, after just minutes, how would she feel/cope when he left to go to his home? She'd be alone again, save for the children, a prospect she dreaded. Her thoughts were interrupted as Bjorn came quickly indoors, full of life, as always, snow dropping from his shoulders "Okay gang, let's go shall we!" they quickly raced out to the car and secured Linda and Christian, before slowly Bjorn pulled away, taking extra care as the darkness came rushing in. It was pitch black when they finally arrived in her driveway, the snow had piled up and it meant a slow entrance as he pulled to the doorway. She nudged him "Go into the garage, plug into the heater. We'll have a coffee if you like" he smiled, he'd hoped for just such an invitation and carefully he reversed a little before with a click of her controller the garage door opened allowing them in. Swiftly he plugged the heater in and followed everyone into the house. The heating clicked on and warmth filled the air, Bjorn watched as Linda and Christian playfully ran upstairs to their rooms, Christian leaving a souvenir in the form of a smelly fart! Agnetha sat on the sofa, looking a little forlorn as Bjorn came to sit with her, steaming coffee in their respective mugs. Silence ensued for a while, until he broke the silence with a loaded question, he hated to provoke her in any way, but needed to know how things were, what she felt, thought "Pleased to be home?" it was deliberately worded, designed to finally have her open up to him. She stared into her coffee for a moment, before turning to face him, he noticed that she was close to tears "This isn't my home" she spoke softly, trying to hold herself together. Bjorn waited for a moment, allowing her to compose herself "Bjorn, I'm sorry, you don't need to hear me whining. Forget I said anything" Bjorn turned her face towards him again, she'd looked away to hide her pain "I always need to hear you. Whatever it is you need to say. or tell me. Don't hold it back, get it off your chest" he encouraged her to vent to him, to reveal her inner thoughts. She took a breath, sipped her coffee and put the mug down on a coaster "This isn't my home. I..I hate it here. My home is...My home is where you are, that house, everything about it. That's my home. Where I should be, not here, alone, miserable. I..I want...I want, need to be there again. I just can't stay here any longer" she held it together, allowing him a glimpse into her mind, her heart. Now he needed to hear more, he knew he had to provoke an outburst from her and knew just how to get a reaction from her "Look, I can move here. You go back to the house, make it home again. You and the kids, it's what I suggested first, go make it yours again" he waited, knowing that she was meaning another thing entirely. She looked at him, eyes filled with pain "I don't mean that! I don't mean that at all. God, how can you be so clever and not see the obvious in front of your eyes? Can't you understand me? Am I not being clear? Or have you had just had enough of me?" she paused and before he could answer she grabbed his pullover with both hands, physically pulling him closer "I don't want to live there alone. or anywhere alone for that matter. God, I need you to listen, properly listen. Bjorn Kristian Ulvaeus, I want to go home, but I want to come home with you! I want to be your wife again, to live in the house with you, me, the kids. As a family, together through thick and thin. I don't want a divorce! For crying out loud, Bjorn I LOVE YOU! I want to be with you, spend my life with you. Do you understand now? Get me? You probably think this is pathetic, funny, all of a sudden changing my mind again. I know you don't want me back, I know, I get it, don't blame you. I know I drive you around the bend.." suddenly he silenced her by kissing her on the lips, a tender, loving kiss. Breaking away he smiled as he looked at her, she was open mouthed, shocked "I knew full well what you meant, all along. But I needed to hear you say it, to admit the truth to me" she gasped, he'd tricked her, played her like an instrument. he smiled, that disarming smile that was so uniquely his "I know it's a little cruel, to trick you that way. But I had to, to know. And everything you said was music to my ears, because that's what I want, what I've wanted all along. Let's go home together, leave this place. Tomorrow, if you like we'll collect your belongings, bring as much as we can, then get that removals firm to bring the rest. Meantime we have a lot to work out, talk about. But let's do that at home, together!".....