LOVE, LOSS, LEYSIN LOOKING

NIGHT AND DAY YOU'RE THE ONE Chapter 4

There was now a greater degree of comfort in the house. The early moments, which particularly for Agnetha were uncomfortable, awkward and unsettling had passed. Suddenly everything seemed just right, as if this moment had been conjured up by destiny, by fate, just to remind them both of how things once used to be and of how they should be again. It was time together that both privately, secretly relished and the longer they were together the more comfortable they became. Suddenly this was like any other time they'd spent together when married, the ease of their relationship, the sheer comfort and pleasure of being together was everything it once had been. A smile came naturally to both faces, this was precisely the life that both yearned for, home together as a family, as a loving couple. The evening had come almost imperceptibly as they played a board game with Linda and Christian, laughter filled the room, the sheer joy of being here together again was so strong, they could almost touch it. Agnetha checked her watch and realised it was now bedtime for the junior members of the Ulvaeus/Faltskog family "Well young lady and young man, it's time for bed. We have a big day tomorrow and we don't want you falling asleep and missing it do we" she smiled gently as she spoke and in spite of one or two requests for longer before bed, Linda and Christian knew they really needed to head off to sleep now, ahead of a big day tomorrow. Bjorn had smiled happily to both of them "I tell you what. Once you're all tucked in I'll read you a bedtime story each. What do you say?" Much happiness followed this suggestion, Christian jumped with glee whilst Linda danced and screamed "Yes!Yes!Yes! Pappa" she was beside herself with glee, a bedtime story from her Daddy was just what she wanted. And so at that moment everyone headed upstairs and the youngest members of the family got dressed for bed, cleaned their teeth and went to the bathroom, to save any emergencies later in the night! Agnetha observed closely as Bjorn read, first to Christian and then to Linda. His gentle tenderness and love for them both was tangible, she couldn't help but feel sentimental and to marvel at just how loving he was with them both, his patience was seemingly endless, inexhaustible, even when the young ones decided to misbehave a little and refuse to sleep! " Christian not sleep! He go wee wee out the window and down the stairs!" he was as ever typically cheeky and full of mischief, things he inherited from his Father. Agnetha smirked and suppressed a laugh in the doorway, she shouldn't laugh at his cheeky ideas but he was amusing. She watched as Bjorn laughed and ruffled Christian's hair "Well, if you do that A, the stairs will smell of wee wee and B when you open the window and wee wee, your willy will freeze and fall off! Suddenly you'll be a little girl who we'll have to call Christina!" Christian giggled with glee as he finally settled down and as the light was switched off he was instantly asleep. Linda meanwhile was fidgeting around in bed, determined to stay awake, relishing the chance to be here with everyone again "I could stay up really late. I love being here, I don't want to sleep at all!" she was smiling in delight and Agnetha observed again as Bjorn found a way to deal with their Daughter "But if you don't go to sleep now, when we get to Leysin, you'll fall asleep and miss it all! No snow man, no snowball fights, you'll be in bed snoring like a pig!" the prospect of missing out on all of the fun she'd looked forward to convinced Linda that sleep may be a good idea after all and her Father switched off the light and closed the door behind him. Finally both children were asleep in their old rooms, doors closed to prevent them being woken by noise, a monitor in each room allowing their Parents to keep an eye on them as they slept. Quietly they returned to the living room, being careful not to speak until they were out of earshot of the bedrooms, finally as Bjorn shut the living room door they could talk again "Two negotiations successfully completed!" he smiled happily as he spoke and Agnetha gently laughed "I couldn't agree more. Pity some other negotiations with Stig are not so simple!" they sat on the sofa again, this was so familiar, it was almost as if they had stepped back in time, that the last few weeks had not happened. They chatted happily about simple, ordinary things, the kind of thing any couple would, laughing, remembering things including how they first visited this very house "Remember our first visit here? You decided as soon as we walked through the door that we should move here" Bjorn looked over to her as he reminisced about that very day and a smile crossed her gorgeous face "Yeah I did. I just felt immediately and still feel actually, that this is a perfect home for a family. Plenty of room to move, room for them to grow, maybe grow the family still further. It's exactly what I, what we had wanted" the memories flooded back, it seemed like yesterday. Bjorn hesitated for a moment, he wanted to say something, something personal, but didn't want to upset her and spoil the happy mood they shared. Finally he broached the subject on his mind "It's true, that's what this place is. A family home, not for a single guy. And maybe someday, our family can be here again" he allowed the comment to hang in the air, he didn't want to press the situation, he just needed and wanted to let her know that it was on his mind. Tempted as she was to respond in a positive manner to his suggestion, Agnetha bit her lip and kept her counsel. In truth being here as a family was precisely what she wanted herself, returning here to this familiar place had only reinforced those notions in her mind and her heart. She so wanted to tell him this, to pour her heart out to him, but her own natural shyness and a somewhat insecure status made her hesitant. She did not want to reveal her feelings right now, only to be rejected if he told her he didn't want their family, but another one with someone else. Bedtime came upon them, it was an early start in the morning, Bjorn stretched "I suppose we had best get off to bed and get some sleep. Or we'll be as exhausted as we told the kids they'd be!" This was one of the more tricky moments of this arrangement. Normally when here previously, they would head off to bed together but now of course things were somewhat different. Agnetha was to stay in a spare room, although in truth both wanted for her to join him in their former marital bed. Wandering slowly upstairs a feeling of discomfort pervaded the air between them. Both had know the arrangement before, but now, when the moment came, their feelings, attraction to each other, was making it tricky. Bjorn stopped outside his bedroom door, Agnetha moved a few steps across the hallway to a door right opposite, one of the spare bedrooms. She turned to him, her heart yearning for him, his hear feeling the same way "Okay, this is me. I'll see you in the morning Bjor. Thank you for a lovely time...And for allowing us to stay here tonight" she stepped close to him and kissed his left cheek, gently, tenderly. His heart pounded, just having her near was bad enough, but a kiss made it all the worse. He got a grip on himself and returned her cheek kiss equally tenderly "You are always welcome here. You don't need me to tell you that, nor do you ever need to ask. You can stay here anytime. And it's been lovely for me too, my absolute pleasure" A final hug and they went their separate ways, to their respective rooms for the night. In the spare room as she got changed for bed Agnetha's mind was over the hall in their former room, where truthfully she not only wanted to be, but felt she belonged. As she climbed into a rather unfamiliar bed, for far from the first time her heart and her mind yearned to be in their marital bed, to sleep on Bjorn's left shoulder with his arms around her as she had always done. The wish, the longing was even stronger than normal, as now he was just a few short steps away, across the hall. She pushed back the bed clothes, took a deep breath and rose, putting on her thick winter dressing gown "I'm going to him. Right now! I can't stay here like this, alone in the spare room. I belong with him, in our room, our bed!" she flicked on the light switch and took another deep breath and gripped the door handle and pushed the lever handle down and quietly opened the door, stepping outside. There in the darkness of the hallway, right opposite her was the only obstacle to her being with Bjorn tonight, the closed door of his, their, bedroom. She looked longingly and took a step towards him, but at that very moment a second thought entered her tormented mind "What if he doesn't want me? If he asked me here to be nice, but doesn't want me in his bed or his life? And if I go and we make love, what then? Do I go back to that horrid house after Leysin and pretend nothing happened? Or move back here and start again?" she stood for what seemed an age, deliberating, arguing with herself, both the logical side of her mind which told her to go back to her room and the emotional side which urged her to go to Bjorn. She was torn, literally stuck between two places. She had to decide and finally she gave into logic and trudged slowly back to the spare room and returned to the empty bed and silently, she cried wanting her Bjorn but doubting in her own mind that she'd ever have him again. Across the hall Bjorn was likewise restless. Just across the hall, mere steps away lie the one girl he'd ever loved and would ever love. He sat up in his bed, unable to sleep, tortured by the image of her here with him and knowing she was here, in person, almost waiting for him. He got out of bed and walked around his room for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do. In his heart, his very soul he wanted to cross the hall, burst into her room scoop her up in his arms and carry her to their bed where he would make love to her. He'd wanted her to come here so much, he deliberately came up with the idea of leaving for the airport from here to get her here, back under their own roof, together again. He'd hoped he could find a way to invite her to their room, but deep down he'd known it wasn't sensible to try. But now, now, here she was, here in the flesh and he so longed for her, for her touch. In an instant he moved to his bedroom door, this was it he was going to fetch her here and remind her of their love with a night of unbridled passion! "Ulvaeus why are you waiting? She's here, right now, this very instant. You've been desperate to be this close, go and get her, make tonight memorable, special and bring her home for good!" he was muttering to himself, trying to psyche himself up for this moment. But another part of him, the tender caring side of him, knew it really was not a good idea, it could only cloud things further. He knew he needed her, he knew that he loved her and that she loved him. But as he slipped back into his bed he knew this was going to be a game of patience and time.....