Everything Has Changed Now

Chapter 11 - An apology and a confession

Chapter Summary:

Penelope finally invites Colin to her abode and they have a heart to heart conversation.

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As Colin steps into the drawing room on the first floor, he is mesmerised by the colour and design of the space. Her drawing room was a blend of green and blue as if to symbolise both of them. It was not intentional, the house was already coloured in that way when Penelope rented it.

While looking around, Colin feels proud of his wife. So proud of her independence and the house she has been able to afford on her own including her ability to pave the way on her own. The aesthetic of her house was amazing and it felt so comfy.

Penelope is standing behind Colin, watching him as he looks about her home.

He turns to her "Your house is very beautiful, Pen. I am proud of you." A soft smile curving the corner of his lips "I am really proud how far you've reached after so many...struggles." Colin smiled and Penelope beamed back at him.

"Would you like something to drink? Or eat?" Pen knew her husband's large appetite.

"No, thank you, Pen. That's kind of you." He was not hungry right now. He was rather thinking of how to finally confess his love.

Colin could not wait any longer. He made up his mind that tonight was the night he was going to declare his feelings. He had to act quickly in case Penelope might retreat to bed or he might lose the opportunity to.

Before Penelope could direct him to a seat as she raised her hand to guide him, he quickly made a move, facing her squarely. "Pen...There's something I need to tell you. There are quite a few things actually." he sighed out loudly and his brows joined as his eyes looked desperate.

Penelope could tell by the sight of his face and behaviour that he desired to express a serious matter. She wondered whether he discovered about her being with child or something of the like.

He approaches her and takes both her hands in his, looking deeply into her blue eyes and clearing his throat.

"Pen. I have been meaning to talk to you much before you left Mayfair but I never had the chance to tell you, or more probably...I was unable to get the courage to. I was the one to blame actually as instead of approaching you to speak, I just abandoned you."

He inhaled deeply, still gazing in her eyes as Penelope listened to him intently.

"Ever since I met you here, I have been intending to tell you but I was afraid you might get vexed or that you might not even want to listen to me. However, I cannot wait anymore."

Judging by his behaviour, Penelope sensed her husband seeking to talk to her; the man she had fallen in love with for so many years, not the angry Colin she had known before fleeing Mayfair.

He gazed into her eyes softly as he continued.

"I had given a great deal of thought about the fact that you had chosen to write in secret and assume the persona of Lady Whistledown. I understand what it felt like, Pen...what it was like, feeling so alone and ignored by the outside world that you had to isolate yourself and retreat to writing to feel less lonely. I equally realise how you were unable to stop once the society began paying attention to your gossip columns. You had been so disregarded and..."

Colin looked around and swallowed before continuing as his eyes grew wet with tears, shame and regret engulfing him.

"I also realise I have been part of the crowd who had ignored you, Pen...and I am so sorry for not seeing you sooner, for failing to support you when you needed a friend. I realised how proud I am of you, of your bravery, your success and your independence, besides being a clever and strong woman."