Everything Has Changed Now

Chapter 3 - Where is my wife?

Chapter Summary:

Penelope is all set to escape her current life to start a new one. Colin will soon realise his wife is missing.

This chapter moves to Colin's POV.

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Inside the carriage, Genevieve left out a letter for Pen inside a box. It explained the whereabouts of the person she could meet to arrange for a house outside of Mayfair. Pen was glad she had such a good friend who was willing to help her in time of need.

Penelope could not hold it and was crying as soon as the carriage departed, wondering what would be Colin's reaction when he would find out about her and also because she would miss him deeply and immensely.

She had hoped for one last glimpse of his face before leaving but then all her plans would be ruined. Colin might refuse to let her go using some marital duty excuse or she herself might feel weak seeing his charming face and make the wrong decision to stay.

Pen had placed the sealed letter to Colin on the nightstand of their bedchamber. Surely he would come the following morning and would see the letter or if he had not, Rae would make sure it was sent to him by the afternoon. By that time she would already be outside of Mayfair and Colin would not be able to reach her, hopefully.

At the Bridgerton house at that hour, everyone was already asleep. Everyone, except Mr Colin Bridgerton. A letter from Kate and Anthony had been received from their travels and after everyone gathered in the drawing room to read it and miss them while fighting for chocolate macarons, they withdrew to bed, except Colin.

The werewolf hour was close and Colin was still at his desk, not able to edit the last page of his travel for his manuscript which highlighted the last day he was in Greece. In fact he was distracted as he was uncertain if he wanted to return to his house yet. His home where his wife resided.

He missed his wife. He missed her like hell yet he was incapable of getting off his lazy ass to visit her, to shower her with infinite love. 'His beautiful and pretty wife.', he thought, as he recalled her.

He couldn't figure out why he was unable to go over there. Maybe it was the shame he had for not being able to face her after all the harsh words he said to her? Or maybe because he felt so useless, unable to protect her from the queen or from Miss Cowper?

Colin sighed as he thought of the 'maybes' that could be used as a rational justification for abandoning his wife, all alone in their home. The home he was so eager to live with her in. The home that had witnessed the first time of their shared intimacy when he made her visit.

Colin recalled how the intimacy with Pen was what he had been searching for all along. As he was exploring his travelogue, he remembered his encounters with the women he was intimate with and none of them had given him the strong feelings he shared with Penelope.

They were not comparable to Penelope.

With Pen there was no distance, he felt so close to her.

He was himself with Penelope. 'Only with her', he wondered. He was utterly not comfortable to share some matters even with his family unlike he felt with Pen, such as his travel journeys.

Perhaps that is why he was so angry of the secret she hid from him or...perhaps he was too jealous when he realised Penelope as a woman was able to achieve so much on her own when he, a man, the one who society offered so much, was still lost and not even able to finish one damn novel.

He was so confused about his feelings. What was it that had distanced him from her that much?

Was it her or himself? Colin sighed heavily as he thought of his purpose and if it was indeed his writing. Even Penelope had found hers and here he was, still struggling.