Anywhere but here |Calum Hood|

xviii.

"I guess i'll see you soon," Luke said. I hugged him in response because I wanted to get over everything inside. "Bye,"

I ran inside to my room. I slammed the door behind me and broke down. What's the worst he could do uh? No no no no! I thought to myself. I didn't have the urge to call him back.

At that moment. I thought I needed nobody. I felt useless, I felt unwanted, I questioned myself, what's the point of living anymore? I went to the bathroom immediately and sat there for a moment.

I sorted things out, myself by calming down slowly. My bedroom was possible but it wasn't secure as much in the bathroom. My mom can hop in anytime and I don't usually lock the door.

I thought that I should let it all out by inflicting pain to myself. Denying a little here and there but nobody could stop me. Not even myself. I was drowning with my thoughts.

I slid open the cabinet and grabbed the razor blades I kept in there for months. I never used them for a long time and I never planned to again. They were rusty.

I dug my head into my thighs, covering myself after I felt that sharp slit on my skin repeatedly. Blood dripping onto the floor, followed by tears. I couldn't see my arm anymore.

Half an hour passed by and I didn't do anything but just drown in my thoughts.

"Y/N! " my mom called. I quickly stood up from the bathtub. Then I turned on the tap to was away the remaining. I pulled down my sleeves so it wasn't visible. I acted normal when I was approaching my mom.

"Honey, what do you want for dinner today ?" She asked. 'What that's all?' I thought. "Oh anything will do. Pasta's great." I answered her with a smile, baring with the pain. "Honey you don't seem alright. Is everything okay? Didn't you see Calum today?" as soon as my mom said that, my eyes became watery. "Yeah of course mom i'm okay," I murmured as I walked backwards back to my room. "Alright! I'll call you down as soon as i'm done!"

I got undressed. To my surprise, Calum left couple of messages and 5 missed calls. I couldn't bother so I threw my phone on my bed and went to the bathroom. I gave myself a warm bath before dinner. Almost everything I did, reminded me of Calum but I had to shake it off.

I slowly dipped myself in the warm bathtub, feeling soothe. My head instantly laid back and I let out a heavy sigh. I could feel the tension and pain in my arm and heart. Two month and a half months of bullshit when my life was already at worst for me.

While I was having my time, I remembered the conversation I had with Luke just now, he was about to say something when we were interrupted by his mom. I had some type of feeling towards Luke but not that of a serious one.

I've never wanted to be too stressed out about something. I spent a few minutes in the bath, "Y/N? I'm here for dinner today!" I recognized that voice. Michael! My brother! My eyes wide opened. I quickly stood up, take my towel to dry myself and bandages to cover up. It almost covered three-quarter of my arm but I had my hoodie to cover it.

I wore my tights and put on my hoodie. "I'm in here!" I called. "I'm sorry if I just came in!" Michael said. "No it's okay, give me a minute!" I went out of the bathroom and got a hug from Michael as a greeting. His hug was warm and cuddly as ever and yes, he changed his hair color. Well red in color. Plus, it made him more attractive each time.

"Aw, Mikey I missed you so much bro!" I tighten the hug. "Today i'm eating with mom and you since I have no plans," he replied as he pulled away from the hug.

He held tight onto my wrist and looked me into the eye. "Are you okay? Have you been smiling lately?" He let out a giggle. I shrugged off from his handle and smiled, "Yeah totally fine! Don't worry too much about me Michael! I'm happy as ever," trying to hold back my tears was the worst thing. "I'm glad you could make it!" "Aw," he hugged me again.

Shoutout to ineedmichaelclifford because she decided on what color Michael dyed his hair in

:) Follow her too!

Let's summarize! You are depending and praying for life to get better but eventually it turned to be the total opposite.

So Michael is in the story! Like AJSHXHAHJ him as a brother??? He is definitely a caring and lovely brother. You could depend on him on everything but what about this? -s.h

On the other hand, calum here is like a fuckboy motto but i'm trying not to make him look like here haha
S.h