I Hate You More.

Day Before Chaos

Its been almost a full week since the whole thing happened. And i'm still not over it. I have moped around my house and not left ONCE

Devora is back from vacation and is complaining about school tomorrow but I'm more swept up in my own thoughts about school.

My first day of school is tomorrow.

And I guess you could say it's my first day back at THIS school but it still feels odd. I haven't really seen anyone that goes to this school other than the only people i've talked to during break. It just feels so different

I got my ID and schedule in the mail yesterday and I have a few classes with Devora and Veronica, including lunch. Kenny is in my math and science class which is good. I haven't asked anyone else yet though. I was thinking of asking Benny but I guess it's better off I don't

I'm listening to music and cleaning my room when I hear a knock at my window??

I open the curtains to see Squints and Yeah-Yeah standing outside of it. What the fuck is going on? I open my window,

"What are you guys at my house for?" I ask leaning into the window frame

"We want to know why you haven't been around at all. Schools tomorrow by the way"

"Yeah, yeah tomorrow's your first day" Yeah-Yeah adds which doesn't make me feel any better

"Duh, I know. What do you REALLY want huh?" I say tilting my head and squinting my eyes a little

"Ok, ok fine. Why did you say no to Benny man?" Yeah-Yeah replies caving in which he always does 🤷🏻‍♀️

"Yeah-Yeah you're such a softie." Squints says as he punches Yeah-Yeah on the arm

"Why does it matter to you guys," I answer before a fight could break out between them

"He was heartbroken Y/n/n"

"Yeah, yeah! Totally crushed!!"

"He was crying and I ain't never seen him do that!!"

"Yeah, yeah! Crying!!"

"And-"

"Alright, enough. Me and him have always hated each other. What he did was really sweet but just because we started getting along doesn't mean we have to date right away. Things like this take a little time and I told him that, but he got all angry at me which broke MY heart."

"Just stay out of my business boys."

I get up out of the window frame, shut the window, lock it, and close the curtains before they could say anything else. It didn't concern his friends. You wouldn't see D or V go up to Benny asking him why he said he hated me.

I put my music back on my JBL speaker and continued cleaning my room because I won't let a little disturbance stop be from trying to be a little clean girlish today 😒

———————————————————————————

I wake up from my long nap I took after deep cleaning my room. I slept for 4 hours!! How nice 🥰

I'm hungry and I still need to make sure I have everything for school tomorrow which is what makes my heart DROPP.

The feeling of having to go back to this school and see everyone again, have to learn math and science, and having to face Benny. It just makes me feel like i'm going to throw up everywhere

First thing I want to do is lay out my outfit which is nice because at least I don't have to wear uniforms anymore. And I know just the outfit I want to wear that i'll look so cute in

( insert any outfit you want to wear 🤍 )

And of course my backpack filled with everything I need because I can't be unprepared.

Another thing is how annoying it's going to be coming in and not knowing anything they're learning. The lessons that don't make sense and math being in the middle of unit 4. But I guess i'll have to persevere 😔🙏

In the middle of the thoughts I hear my mom,

"Mama, come here!"

"Ok coming!" I reply

I leave my room and walk into the living room to find her looking down at her phone with her glasses on her face and Netflix on the tv

"Are you ready for school tomorrow my love?" she asks patting the spot next to her without looking up, signaling for me to sit beside her

"Why would anyone be" I groan as I make my way over to the couch curling up next to her and laying my head on her shoulder

"I know you're still mad at me for taking you away from this school in the first place but you're back now, and I want you to promise me you'll be good" she says taking her glasses off and putting them on her head as she puts her phone down, her focus now on the show that's on tv

I nod as I continue, "I hate school. It's torture"

she chuckles and shakes her head as she continues, "Well you definitely got that right, now go get ready for bed" and pats my leg before I get up and make my way back to my bathroom to freshen up before bed.