Harry Does Canon, and loves it by fvdv123

Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., I am going to try to do the song and dance without rushing it. Yes, I'll even try to make Dumbledore into a good guy… until I lose my temper on the creep. As always, for free. Ofc.

1 Year one. Getting sorted.

Hello, I am a Harry Potter fanati...fan. Can you believe that when Truck San ran me over, I ended up here? In Harry's cupboard! I am totally Isekaid! When I calculated the date, today it is Dudley's birthday and the trip to the zoo. I can hardly wait.

Regaining Harry's memories was disturbing, man, that boy got starved. Not a lot of beatings, only at accidental magic and neglect to a criminal level. But I want to play this out.

Just like canon, the fat ass wanted more presents to add to his pile of broken junk. His friend Piers Buttkiss came for the trip, and I was forced to come along.

I tried to get out of it by asking Petunia: "Aren't you afraid people look down on you for not having money enough, so you have to dress me in these rags?" I could have avoided the slap, but I would have gotten two more after. She said: "You follow us five steps behind you freak."

That is a nasty cow. Anyway, canon followed except for the snake scene, I am not a fan of the hunger games. All in all, a wasted day. I tried everything from fan fictions to getting wandless magic, but nothing worked, I knew I am getting shafted here.

The letters came, I kept a few for evidence, and let the rest play out like canon. Hagrid came in the middle of the night, even when you know he is coming and he is big… he is freaking huge!

When that fat ass ate my birthday cake I got angry, they didn't feed me for two days! Hagrid fed me eventually, the fun of being Harry is cooling down though.

Xxxxx

We arrived at the Leaky Cauldron, I think they put a lot of effort into letting it look like a shady pub, that or cleaning spells need a Masters' degree in household spells. I spotted Purple Stutter, when Hagrid introduced him I tried to take his hand and shake it, but the naffer acted like a scared virgin at the sight of her first dick. Meh, I'll smoke him some other time.

Gringotts, I skimmed the graffiti, I've seen better poems on public restrooms. Griphook took us with the fun carts to my vault, this time I explored my vault for goodies that my parents could have left. At the pile of gold, I asked Griphook: "How am I supposed to carry this? It weights a ton."

Griphook answered: "A mokeskin bag cost fifty Galleons Mr. Potter." I said: "And you happen to have one that I can buy?" the greedy ass grinned and said: "I have one for fifty-five Galleons." I grinned back: "For ten Galleon I will tell you something to prevent your bank to be embarrassed."

Meh, the naffer didn't catch the bait. I filled my bag with a shit load of Galleons and moved back up. I kept my key though.

When we passed a store with trunks, I said to Hagrid: "Can I buy a trunk first, then I can store everything directly in my trunk. Hah! Manor trunk coming up!… fuck these are expensive, it takes five months at least, and are custom made. I settled with a five-compartment trunk, one has an apartment completely equipped, spelled with all bells and whistles, and a bottomless bag for my schoolbooks, I was set for seven years. Hagrid was already getting drunk in the leaky.