SUNDAY MORNING IN SAGADA

Chapter 6: The manipulative grip

Chapter 6: The manipulative grip

Pagmulat ng mga mata ni Tanya, agad niyang narinig ang mahinang katok sa pinto ng kanyang silid. "Tanya, gising na. Dumating si Arvie, may dala siyang breakfast," bulong ni Emay mula sa labas. Napa-igik si Tanya, bahagyang nahihilo pa dahil matagal siya nakatulog dahil sa nag-aalab na damdamin at mga tanong na gumugulo sa kanyang isipan.

Matagal siyang nag-isip   sa panliligaw ni Arvie sa tuktok ng Mt. Apacao. Ramdam niya ang sinseridad at lambing sa bawat salita ni Arvie, na tila sinusuyo ang kanyang puso. Pero sa kabila ng lahat, may isang tanong na hindi niya matanggal—bakit nga ba biglang nawala si Leonzo? Hangga't hindi pa niya nasasagot ang tanong na ito, parang hindi siya makakatugon ng buo sa damdamin ni Arvie. Pakiramdam niya, hindi buo niyang mamahalin si Arvie dahil may mga puwang sa kanyang puso't isipan ay naroon kay Leonzo. 

Nang siya'y bumangon sa kama, tahimik nitong itinungo ang bintana; hinayaan niya muna ang kanyang mga mata at damdamin na buksan ng malamig na simoy ng hangin. Sa labas, bumungad sa kanya ang napakagandang umaga ng Sagada. The mountains were as though drowned in the mild vapor of the atmosphere, while streaks of sun leaped into the backs of their peaks to unfold a colorful vista of rice fields arrayed in seemingly endless stairways. The pine trees bend mildly in the gentle breeze, carrying the fresh scent of earth and mountain that soothes his troubled mind. The chirping of birds, almost musical, echoes in the distance and mingles with the gurgle of water from springs issuing forth from the sides of the mountain.

She took a deep breath, inhaling cold air, which somehow eased the weight in her chest. Outside the window, she saw the clouds looming like a blanket that wrapped up the surroundings-a soft and serene view that wrapped her concerns. However, despite the beauty of that morning, there was still a flow of questions running in her mind.

When she decided to go downstairs and head towards the receiving area, she could not help but smile upon seeing the familiar presence of Arvie.

Standing before her, he was in a plain white T-shirt, complementing his full and athletic body, supported by short shorts, which seemed to be equipped with an apron-like thingies', like a cute waiter. Not only the smell of the food delighted Tanya's appetite but the presence of Arvie was like raising the temperature in her cheeks. His muscular arms flexed with the adjustment of the plate on the table, and that wide, sincere smile was waiting for her. "Good morning, Tanya," Arvie said with heavy fondness in his voice.

"Good morning to you, Arvie." Pinigilan ni Tanya na  magpakawala ng malaking ngiti. Ayaw nyang ma-misinterpret ni Arvie — kunwari nagpapakipot at nagpapahabol. Sa likuran ni Arvie, nakatayo sina Sixto, Emay at ang magkapatid na sina Daisy at Dahlia — nagpakawala ng mapalad na ngiti dahil kinikilig sa ginawa ni Arvie sa kanya.

Arvie reveals the breakfast he has prepared: kapeng barako, bagoong rice, longganisa, beef tapa, and sunny-side-up eggs. Tanya had fallen asleep. How did Arvie know her favorites? Everything about this morning seemed so well thought out by Arvie. That showed more of what he had been trying to drive her feelings toward. She sees the effort and dedication of Arvie, as if saying, "Narito ako para sa'yo, at handa akong ipagluto ka."

"Narito ako, aalagaan kita araw- araw."

Pero kasama ng tamis ng sandali, may bigat sa kanyang dibdib. Gusto niyang ibigay ang kanyang buong puso kay Arvie, pero tila may pumipigil pa rin sa kanya. Sa likod ng kanyang isipan, nakaukit pa rin ang alaala ni Leonzo—ang dating kasintahang biglang naglaho na walang paliwanag. Hindi pa niya alam kung bakit, at hindi niya matanggal ang tanong na iyon sa kanyang isip. How is she ever to give of herself to love again fully when part of her heart is still waiting for an answer from a long-lost individual?

But the more she stared into Arvie's eyes, deep and profound in every smile that seemed to shine a light right through him, all her doubts slowly melted away. She felt Arvie's warmth in taking care of him, the sincerity in Arvie's eyes, which she never received from Leonzo. But she also knew, if she couldn't resolve the issues with her past, she couldn't give himself fully to Arvie.