A Year of Revision and Amour : Carl Gallagher

I wanna see you.

Carl sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the blank wall of his room. The room was cluttered with reminders of his life before—gang memorabilia, old clothes, and remnants of a lifestyle that seemed like a distant memory. The cornrows were gone, and his style had shifted, but some things were harder to change.

He picked up his phone and reread Areum's last message. *I'd like that. Maybe we can catch up soon. I'm looking forward to it.* Her words felt like a lifeline in the chaos of his life. It had been weeks since they last spoke, and Carl found himself replaying their old conversations, the laughter, and the arguments. Even though he had been caught up in his gang life and distractions, he couldn't deny it anymore—his feelings for Areum were still there.

Carl realized now that he had buried those feelings beneath the tough facade he put on for the world. The gang, the drugs, and the chaos had clouded his mind, making him forget what truly mattered. He had been so absorbed in maintaining his reputation and indulging in dangerous behaviors that he had pushed Areum out of his thoughts.

Now, things were different. The events with Nick, the violence, and the constant danger had taken a toll on him. Carl was tired of living in a world where every day felt like a battle. The thought of Areum brought a sense of calm and clarity he hadn't felt in a long time.

Carl pulled out his phone again and stared at Areum's number. He knew he wanted to see her, to talk and reconnect. He missed the person he was with her, someone who felt real and unfiltered, away from the chaos of his gang life. He thought about how he used to open up to her, the way she understood him, and how she was one of the few who saw beyond his tough exterior.

He started typing a message, trying to find the right words:

*Hey Areum, I've been thinking a lot about us and how we used to be. I know things have been crazy, and I've been caught up in a lot of stuff. I want to come see you, if you're up for it. I think I need to get away from everything here and just talk. Let me know if that works for you.*

Carl hesitated before hitting send. He was nervous about her reaction, but he knew he needed to take the chance. This wasn't just about revisiting old feelings; it was about confronting who he was and who he wanted to be.

He set his phone down and leaned back against the wall. The thought of seeing Areum brought a mix of excitement and fear. He knew he needed to make changes in his life, and reconnecting with her seemed like a step in the right direction. He hoped she would understand that he wasn't the same person he was before. The gang life had changed him, but he wanted to show her that he was trying to be better.

As he waited for her response, Carl found himself reflecting on the past. He remembered the genuine connection they shared and how it had been overshadowed by his reckless behavior. Now, with a clearer mind and a renewed sense of purpose, he was ready to make things right, at least as much as he could.

The waiting felt like an eternity, but Carl knew that reaching out was the first step. He wanted to face his past, to confront his mistakes, and to see if there was a chance for something real with Areum again. For the first time in a long while, he felt hopeful.