Just Let Me Adore You. (Wolverine x Fem!OC)

1: just another player in your game for two.

(A/N: In terms of fourth wall breaks, italics will be for Wisteria and bold will be for Wade. I fucked up the intro so bad lmao )

Wisteria was holding onto the skeleton of the Wolverine like her life depended on it. Technically, her life was on the crossroads between life and death. The only thing that can be of comfort of right was the skinless corpse of an angry honey badger. Despite the warmth of her red and black suit, the frosting cold of the snow was getting to her. Getting to her ass. Her ass felt so fucking cold. Her twin brother, Deadpool, was quite chipper in spite of the cold and the current situation they were in.

"I'm not gonna give you my weapons!" Deadpool announced as he rolled over and prompted himself up to get comfortable. "But I promise not to use them."

"Oh yeah, like that's gonna fuckin' convince the fuckin' TVA...." Wisteria muttered.

 Deadpool dragged his sister (and the skeleton) closer to him. Wisteria knew almost immediately that he had a plan.....but will she like it or not will be the real question. They were already outnumbered and outgunned. Any slip-up will result in checkmate.

"There are two hundred and six bones in the body. Two hundred and seven if I'm watching Gossip Girl."

Deadpool turned to the uncomfortable Deadpool 2.0. She hugged the skeleton tightly; she felt an odd connection to an obvious dead man. She didn't know why, but she felt safe and slightly relaxed.

"Wissy, I'm gonna need your little friend there." Deadpool said, nodding to the skeleton.

"If you're doing what I think you're doing, then we're sharing the bones." Wisteria ordered. 

Wolverine's skeleton was clumsily shoved into Deadpool's grasp until he got a firm grip on it.

"Here we go," The man exhaled. "Maximum effort."

"Maximum effort!" The younger squealed.

He lifted up the skeleton's hands to complete a double high five for him and Wisteria. The sibling duo frontflipped over their hiding space - a rock - and landed perfectly on their feet. The scene was just as they expected.  Armed TVA agents cladded in orange and black uniforms were standing in a spaced-out formation, more than likely ensuring that the fugitives have little place to run. Deadpool held Wolverine's skeleton loosely in one hand. Wisteria yanked off a rib.

"Okay, Peanut, guess we're gettin' that teamup after all! Wissy?"

"Alexa, play 'Bye, Bye, Bye' by NSYNC."

Deadpool tore a rib from the skeleton as well. The Deadpools gave each other a knowing look before throwing the sharp ribs at two TVA agents, ending their lives immediately. The duo began to rip and tear through other agents with more bones. Blood spewed everywhere, staining the white snow crimson. When they ran out of tiny bones, Wisteria tore off a leg while Deadpool yanked out the spinal cord. 

Wisteria stuffed the bony leg through a TVA agent's throat repeatedly before yanking it out and ramming the leg through another agent's chest. She grabbed her weapon and jumped out of the way as Deadpool swung the spinal cord around like nun-chucks at the charging agents.

The duo smooched the cheeks of a dead TVA agent before taking a selfie. An agent snuck up behind them, but Deadpool quickly took the leg from Wisteria and stood up. He smacked the agent three times before Wisteria smashed the guy's face with the spinal cord. 

Getting into the groove, they were essentially dancing. Deadpool spun 2.0 around and she kicked an agent in the crotch before stabbing him with the spinal cord.