Where the Sun Sets

Five.

At lunch today, Spencer really did leave Penelope a note. One that made her cry and she wouldn't let anyone else read. All she said was, "I get it," then wouldn't expand.

I ignore her at school just like she ignores me. All of our classes, we sit separately. Too far apart to even be able talk. Close enough to stare at each other the whole time.

"And I believe that the books have a deeper meaning than anyone actually sees." Lily Tucker bowed and went back to her seat.

"Thank you Lily. I loved your rendition of... The Hunger Games." Mr Peters nodded at her, trying his best to be nice about that God awful presentation.

I have respect for teachers because I would NOT be able to hold in my laugh.

"Probably wrote about the hunger games because that's your life story?" Spencer raised her eyebrows at the girl as she walked past.

Lily glared at her as she sat at the table in front of her. They're friends but a comment like that has to hurt a little bit.

Mr Peters cleared his throat, "Miss Hathoway, if you could please go next?"

Spencer nodded and gracefully made her way to the front of the room, "I have taken a quote from Stephen Chbosky's The Perks Of Being A Wallflower." She looked around the room "'We accept the love we think we deserve.' I first heard this quote in a book I read, too young to fully grasp the significance of the phrase. It is said that as you get older, your brain changes and the world grows a bit dull. You understand adult
problems and you can fully react to the feeling of lust." She blushed, cleared her throat, then continued, "Love is a hard and complicated emotion. It has different meanings and ways of usage. I chose this quote because as l've grown older, l've come to understand it. My home was not a good environment for a kid with so much love in her heart. Constantly beaten down and made fun of, I jumped at the thought of someone actually putting their faith in me. No one ever showed me that kind of praise before. I was being treated horribly. Cheated on, yelled at, constantly having to check where they were because I wasn't secure in my relationship. My friends, my family, and even my coworkers pointed out the way I was being treated was wrong. But I hated myself so much, if the person I was with hated me less than I did, it was okay. I hated looking in the mirror so much that if the person I was dating could stand to look at me, the way I was being treated didn't matter. I hated myself so much, the way they would speak to me didn't mean a thing. I deserved it. I thought that because I had such a deep hatred for my brain and my body, that if someone could love me like that, it was all worth it. I was okay with the way they treated me, because I deserved it. l accepted that I would never find anyone better, because that was the love I thought I deserved."

Everyone clapped because we didn't expect that from Spencer. At all.

That's why Pen cried at whatever Spencer wrote for her. She's fucking great on paper.

The bell rang right before Roger had to present and I was greatful because he was fried off his ass and I doubted he'd be able to form a coherent sentence.

Roger smiled at me before going the opposite direction towards the north doors. He gets to leave and all of our friends are still required to attend one more class today.

While I was walking up the stairs towards pottery, I felt a hand squeeze my arm, "Hey, wait up." Spencer began to walk beside me, a huge grin on her face, "Hi."

"Hey." I grinned at her, a new feeling in my chest.

"Wanna hang out today? I apologized to your cousin and we're even mutuals on Instagram." She raised her eyebrows, making a space between us as people started to fill the stairwell.