Better than a Taylor swift song

Chapter 8: Connelly

TRIGGER WARNING: Child @buse

"HE WORE LONG SLEEVES CUZ OF HIS DAD"

-OLIVIA RODRIGO, 'HOPE UR OK'

 "Seriously, Connelly Gray? Another explosion?" my dad booms at me. I sit on my bed shirtless, knowing far too well what is going to happen to me. I've had this happen way too many times.

 "I wasn't trying too, you do know that right? He told us to experiment and I did. I could of sworn that what I put in the beaker was gonna make a different metal, not an explosion." I answer back making sure I'm far, far away from the man everyone thinks is so kind, the man everyone wants to be, the man whom everyone WANTS me to be. Jokes on them because I'll never be like him, I dont even want to be a father because I feel if I do, I'll be just like him. 

 "Stand against the pole. You know what happens when you act up."

 "NO! I wont, not again! You've taken everything out of me, never again will I let you touch me with that!" I say backing away. I grab my phone dial 911 and threaten to call. "If you don't get away from me, I will call 911 and let them know that Austin Manchester is an awful man who abuses his child." 

 "You wouldn't, I know you." he replies in a condescending voice

 Hes right, I wont. But its not for me, its for my mom. I cant leave my mom, she'd be heartbroken.

 "Connelly, you're nothing but a wimp and a coward and spineless." 

 "I will be unless you stop @busing me!" and with that he hits my hand with his belt. I drop the phone and it shatters.

 Just like my back.

 "Get up against the bed post! NOW!" he roars at me. 

 And of course I comply, because I'm defenseless and he has a belt. 

 So I stand there.

 Helpless.

 As he beats the life out of me.

 Just like he always has.

 I grit my teeth in agony and tears stream down my face.

 But I don't cry.

 I will NEVER give him the satisfaction of making me.

 I contemplate everything I know just to distract myself.

 Obviously I gaslighted myself into thinking I could. Distract myself, I mean.

 "If you wanna get through to me, make me read a book that's torture enough." I say through a pained laugh. " H3ll making me go to school is torture enough. Maybe just to make it sink in, make me sleep outside with the dogs, I wont mind!" I taunt.

 Thats how it works with us, usually once a week, he whips me and then I taunt him. 

 Nothing major or out of the ordinary.

 I guess.

 I don't know, maybe thats just me.

 My dads phone rings and he drops the belt and leaves.

 Just like that.

 As if i will barely be able to walk, he leaves.

 I wish he would just leave forever, spare me and my mom the pain of being related to him.

 He hits her and that makes me even madder than when he hits me.

 It angers me to the point I want to kill him.

 Of course i haven't and of course i never will.

 Because, as he said himself, I'm a wimp and a coward and spineless.

 I take a shot of whiskey and Motrin for the pain, which usually dulls in about 7 hours.

 And that night, I eat the candy I bought and watch baseball.

 Just 9 more months and I can be out of this h3ll hole, I remind myself.

 Just 9 months.

AUTHORS NOTE

Hey sorry about all the details in the chapter, just thought it'd help character build.

Also CHILD @BUSE IS NOT OKAY!

 I also didn't realize that Briar was reading 'Divergent and the part shes at would be the fear sim and that shed fing out who "FOUR" actually was lol. the paralells is actually so crazy and I didn't realize that they'd be happening at the same time lol

Were #133 in YA and #46 in clean 9 (trust me, I scrolled all the way to check it was real, and the tag isnt right lol) finally beat that cringey Joshua Basset fanfic (BTW I love josh) 

Jesus loves yall so much he DIED for you! I love you too! Don't feel bad to talk to someone I fyou really need help. 

John 3: 16-17 

LOVE, SUNSHINE<3