backstage secrets

vii

luke woke up with a pounding headache, remnants of a restless night and a hangover from the party still clinging to him. he stumbled toward the bedroom, drawn by the sound of hurried movements and the soft rustling of clothes.

as he entered the room, his heart sank at the sight of nicola in tears, frantically packing her belongings into a suitcase. the distress etched on her face twisted something inside him.

"w-what is this?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady, but confusion and worry leaked through.

"you know what this is," nicola replied, her voice choked with emotion, avoiding his gaze like it held a poison.

luke took a step closer, trying to process the chaos unfolding before him. "if this is about what happened during breakfast... please, nicola, i didn't mean it," he pleaded, desperation creeping into his tone.

nicola shook her head, her hands trembling as she folded a sweater. "maybe. or maybe it's about you kissing another woman last night. jayden, wasn't it?" her tone was sharp, filled with hurt and accusation.

luke's eyes widened in realization. "nicola, i swear, i was drunk—" he started, panic rising in his chest.

"you were drunk?" she cut in, her voice laced with bitter sarcasm. "so that justifies kissing her? finding solace in her lips?"

guilt crashed over him, but anger flared in his chest. "please, let me explain. it wasn't like that!" he implored, reaching out, but she pulled away as if his touch burned her.

"i don’t want to hear it anymore, luke. are you even tired? are we both tired?" her voice cracked, the pain evident.

"i will never get tired of you!" he said, stepping closer, his anger mingling with desperation.

nicola paused, her hands stilling momentarily. "you should have thought of that before kissing another woman," she replied, her voice trembling with hurt.

luke gently stopped her from packing, his hand on hers. "i'm sorry," he murmured, the remorse heavy in his tone.

"you should be," she said quietly, her eyes filled with sorrow as she resumed packing, each item a reminder of their shattered trust.

the room filled with tension, thick and suffocating. "you're not going anywhere," he said firmly, gripping her arms, desperation clawing at him.

"i am," nicola insisted, trying to break free, a fierce determination in her eyes.

luke blocked her path, his expression pained but resolute. "and where will you go? it's not safe out there," he said urgently.

"stop it, luke. i can take care of myself," she shot back, frustration and defiance bubbling beneath the surface.

"stay," he pleaded softly, his grip tightening slightly, an unspoken fear driving his words.

nicola pushed past him, emotions swirling like a storm. he gently but firmly pushed her back onto the bed. "you're not going anywhere," he said, his voice shaking with desperation.

"luke," she said, her voice wavering as she looked up at him, searching for something in his eyes.

"you're hurting me," she whispered, her eyes wide with shock and fear. he froze, the realization of the pain he had caused crashing over him. he released her wrist, heart breaking at the sight of her distress. words failed him as she turned and left the room, her footsteps echoing in the silence that followed.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: 💌 :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

nicola sought refuge at a friend's place, finding solace in the familiarity of a space untouched by the memories of their shared life. the loss of their baby and the profound sense of betrayal left her feeling adrift and broken. she needed space and time to heal, to regain her sense of self apart from luke and the pain that surrounded them.

after a few days, she confided in her friend, “i need to talk to him. i want answers about why he did it. but can i trust him again? maybe some distance is what we need.”

her friend nodded, understanding the weight of her words. “you need to put yourself first, nicola. take the time you need.”

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: 💌 :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

w

eeks passed in agonizing silence for luke. he tried calling nicola repeatedly, each unanswered call deepening his sense of desperation and regret. he left heartfelt messages, pleading for her to talk to him, to give him a chance to explain, but there was no response. she had left their apartment without a word, leaving him with a shattered heart and a profound sense of remorse.

finally, they agreed to meet in a small café, a neutral ground where they could attempt to talk without the ghosts of their shared life haunting them. as they sat across from each other, the air was thick with unspoken words and unresolved emotions, a battlefield of feelings.

“nicola, i don’t want to lose you,” he began, his voice raw. “i’m so sorry for what happened. it was a mistake, and i’ll do anything to make it right.”

“i need to understand why you kissed her,” nicola replied, her eyes piercing through him as she stirred her coffee, the spoon clinking against the cup like a countdown to confrontation.

he reached out tentatively, longing to bridge the chasm between them. “i was drunk, and i didn’t know what was happening. i tried to push her away, but it was too late,” he insisted, desperation flooding his voice. “i never wanted to hurt you.”

“yet here we are,” she whispered bitterly, wiping away a tear that escaped despite her efforts to remain composed.

“i know i messed up,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “but i love you, nicola. i can't imagine my life without you.”

her gaze bore into him, searching for sincerity. “love isn't supposed to hurt like this,” she said softly, her voice filled with pain.

he nodded, throat tight with emotion. “i know. and i'm sorry, nicola. i'm so sorry.”

they sat in silence, the weight of their words hanging heavily between them. nicola took a deep breath, steeling herself to speak again. “i need time, luke. i need to figure out if i can trust you again,” she said, vulnerability trembling in her voice.

“i understand,” he replied, heart sinking with the weight of her words. “i'll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. please, give me a chance.”

“i don’t know if that’s enough,” she said, shaking her head slowly. “this is too much for me. i feel so lost.”

“but we can work through this!” he urged, his voice rising with desperation. “i can't let you go, not like this.”

nicola looked away, tears pooling in her eyes. “it’s not just about you, luke. i need to think about what’s best for me, too. and right now, that means stepping away.”

“please, don’t say it’s over,” he begged, his heart racing. “we can fix this. i love you, nicola!”

she took a shaky breath, the finality of her words weighing heavily in the air. “i can’t do this anymore, luke. it’s really over.”

luke felt the air leave his lungs, the reality of her statement crashing down on him. “nicola…” he whispered, voice breaking.

“i’m sorry,” she said softly, her eyes glistening with tears. “i really am. but i have to take care of myself now.”

as she stood to leave, he reached for her hand, but she hesitated, then gently pulled away. “goodbye, luke,” she said, her voice steady but filled with sorrow.

he watched her go, heart breaking with each step she took. as she disappeared from view, a profound sense of loss and emptiness settled over him, knowing this was the end of their journey together, at least for now.

he remained seated for a long time, lost in thought and sorrow, before finally mustering the strength to leave. the café's warmth felt cold and uninviting as he stepped outside into the bustling streets, feeling more alone than ever.!l