It has now been two weeks since Tamara had been admitted at the hospital and Lucy was finally better and not sick at all she decided to surprise Tamara she entered the hospital room not sure what she would like as she entered she didn't even recognise Tamara
She lay on the bed covered up with a blanket medicines and chemo connected up to her her face ghostly white and pale a feeding tube down her nose
L-how has she been
T-she's okay buts she's hardly ever awake she sleeps and wakes up for like 5-10 minutes before sleeping again
L-I'll wait until she wakes up to surprise her
Two hours later Tamara wakes up glancing at her surroundings
Ta-m-mum
L-hey tam
Ta-I missed you
L-I know baby but I'm all better now so we can spend time together okay
Tamara nodded before her eyes slowly closed and she peacefully fell asleep again
L-wow she really doesn't stay awake long
T-yea I feel so bad for her
They keep talking when a doctor came in
D-okay I'm just going to do the daily blood test and a few other tests but I think that she should be able to start having chemo once a week instead of everyday
L-that would be amazing the doctor did the tests
D-okay so the results are very good so I'm just going to do chemo once a week and hopefully we will see her being awake more
L-thank you
D-of course it's just my job
The doctor left the room and a few hours later Tamara awoke again
L-hey tam how you feeling
Ta-less tired where's the chemo she asks confused
L-the doctor said your results are better so you only need chemo once a week now
Ta-yay Tamara said excitedly
L-do you want me to do your hair it's all on your face
Ta-yes please
Tamara sat forward whilst Lucy began brushing her hair gently when a clump came out she stopped
T-everything okay
L-umm tam your hair sweetheart it's coming out Lucy put the clump of hair next to Tamara
Ta-what how
L-the chemo when it kills the cancer cells it also kills your hair cells
Ta-can you just plait my hair and we can deal with this another day
L-yea of course Lucy did French braids on Tamara then she sat back on the chair
The next morning a doctor came in and did the tests then Lucy said
L-also last night whilst I was gently brushing her hair a clump came out Lucy said holding the clump of Tamara's hair
D-okay it is normal considering how long she's been having chemo I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner but we can leave it to fall out it's self or we can just shave it off now it's up to Tamara
Ta-just shave it off now
D-okay let me just go get the shaver the doctor shaved Tamara's hair and then left to check other patients
Lucy gave Tamara a beanie to to wear to stop her head getting cold Tamara was just sobbing whilst Lucy held her hand rubbing her back and Tim held her other hand as she had her head down on her knees after a while her cries died down and she took her hands back lying back her eyes red and puffy her face streaked with tears she got comfy then moved over she patted the spot next to her
Ta-m-mum will you lie with me so I can s-sleep p-please? Tamara asked her voice weak and hoarse from crying
L-of course I will baby okay Lucy got on the bed next to Tamara Tamara lay cuddling into Lucy her arms wrapped gently around Lucy's left arm and her legs over Lucy's as she lay her head on Lucy's chest Lucy's arms wrapped warmly around Tamara's frail form she began to fall asleep as hey eyes shut Lucy sighed in relief that Tamara could finally rest after all of this she was still so brave and powerful but Lucy knew that at some point it would affect Tamara badly and not just physically mentally too she prayed it wouldn't happen to her baby girl but she knew eventually it would she let Tamara sleep for a good few hours before a doctor burst in the room
D-we have bad news
L-what is if
D-the chemo drug we use on Tamara
L-yes what about it
D-there having a shortage on it they only have a few left I'm afraid we're going to have to look for alternatives until they get enough but it could take up to a year maybe even two at this rate
L-what no shes already had so much we was getting closer again
D-I know I'm sorry I will be back tomorrow to discuss it more with you all
They didn't realise Tamara had woken up when the doctor entered Tamara sat up cuddling closer to Lucy
Ta-m-mum is something bad fogging to happen to me
I-I don't w-want to d-di-die I can't loose you guys i c-can't Tamara said panicking
L-hey hey shh it's okay we can think more tomorrow okay for now just relax okay and you should be getting more sleep tam you was only asleep three hours
Ta-I'm going to sleep a little bit more wake me up if the doctor comes back in
L-I will I promise baby I love you Lucy said giving Tamara a kiss on the head
Ta-I love you too mum Tamara replied getting comfy again snuggled closely to Lucy as she fell asleep
L-I hope there's away to stop this cancer because she needs it to stop I can't tell she's so exhausted and I hate seeing her like this
T-me too I hope there's a good alternative for her but if there isn't what do we do
A few tears fell from Lucy's eyes Lucy wiped them away
L-d-don't we can talk about that if it comes to it okay
T-well if it doesn't work then what we're just supposed to abandon our jobs and life to raise her a little more until she dies what's the point of this doesn't go away and it becomes terminal I'll be dropping her off at foster care so we can have a normal life together
L-what how could you say that I can't believe you said that Tamara is our daughter Tim we're not going to abandon her because she's sick if you want to leave her then you can but I will never leave her Tim
T-fine but it's your mistake if she's terminal I'm gone I'm moving starting a new life and not coming back here ever
L-if that's your choice then fine but until then can we just stay happy and calm please for Tamara's sake we don't need to stress her out
T-okay
The next morning
D-I have good and bad news what one first
Ta-good
D-Okay so we have found an alternative to treat the cancer and it will help her a lot more than the other chemo we did
L-what's the bad news
D-this chemo is a great thing to stop cancer especially Tamara's but there's a lot of side effects including more vomiting her appetite will stop until we finish the chemo and this drug is also a sedative type of chemo when first administered within the first five seconds she will be immediately asleep and this chemo will be administered every day and something like this normally ends in a lot of trauma when it comes to anaesthetic and it increases her chances of gaining a mental illness like an eating disorder or depression.
