collection of stories

Ada Alasan Kenapa Sebaiknya Lisan Manusia Jangan Dibiarkan Menjadi Liar

Katanya Allah Maha Adil. Maha Pengasih. Maha Penyayang. But some people need to struggle more than the others. Not all people are lucky enough to have proper education, decent lifestyle, and even the same opportunity to choose what kinda life they want to live. yet even so, even some people are poorer than the others, they dont have a father who has spuit on their mouth in friday morning. they still have the opportunity to get scholarship and people around to support her. even so, even when the poorer has the same opportunity to fight on the same field, there are stil some gap and the most common is a trust to put on themself.

i understand. we can’t control what other people would think about us. yet i can’t lie that those, what i’ve been through since i was kid was still hurting me even until today. until i hit this age. i truly just want this sadness go away. if probably some people are tired of seeing me crying, then i would say i am the one who truly tired with that. i am the one who live in this body is the one who truly wants to be happy. i want all of this to just end as soon as possible. i want those hurt, past trauma, hurtful words i’ve ever received are flew the same as the way air take the leaves off from the branch. the easiest way every single second each one of us take the oxygen to our lung. the lightest as the feather flew to the unknown.

“kamu kira kamu nggak punya temen karena kamu yang menjauh dari orang-orang? bukan karena emang nggak ada yang mau temenan sama kamu?”

that hurt multiple times because it was coming from the one you thought a friend. i thought we were friend.

i wish i wasn’t born..

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i just can’t stop hating myself. no matter how hard i try. everything just feels so wrong. i cant stop hating everyone. i want to quit. i truly want to quit from this. form here. to hereafter. everyone speaks without even think twice whether their words would bleed other people or not. i got it. the control is on us. but what can i do so my voice would be heard. my present would be seen. what am i supposed to do to prove? do i need to prove? penjilat. guss it’s true. you need to be smart enough to play a role and wearing a mask. yang punya gelar dipandang hormat. disegani sampai ke penjuru desa. yang di bawah menjilat ke atas. sementara yang di atas menegakkan posisi tajam ke bawah. begitulah hidup. yang punya kaki pendek sudah kalak telak sejak awal perlombaan. ditambah sepatunya rusak. bekal apa yang masih layak dipakai untuk melanjutkan perjalanan?