Limited edition of ME

Awakening Part 1

Abi stood at the edge of the park, her fingers absently tracing the worn-out leather strap of her backpack. The gentle rustle of leaves, the soft hum of a distant conversation, and the distant laughter of children playing formed a serene backdrop to her thoughts. But her mind was far from peaceful. It was a storm, a cacophony of unanswered questions and unsettling realizations that had begun to haunt her in ways she hadn't anticipated.

At 21, Abi had expected to have life figured out. Or, at the very least, have a clearer sense of direction. She had gone through the motions — school, university, friendships, relationships — like everyone else around her. There had been moments when she felt truly alive, moments when she thought she was steering her own ship. But recently, the nagging thought had begun to creep in: had she ever really been in control? Or had she just been swept along by the current of others' expectations?

The thought of it gnawed at her, a deep unsettling feeling that she had ignored for far too long. Abi's life had always seemed on track, but it was only now, in the quiet of her own solitude, that she began to wonder: whose track had it been?

Everything had started to unravel after a series of tragic incidents in her life. It began small, with a close friend moving away without so much as a goodbye. Then there was the sudden loss of contact with her beloved cousin, who had been the one person she felt truly understood her. The world felt colder without her beloved one's warm, knowing gaze, and her absence left a void that no one else could fill. Abi's relationships with others felt shallow by comparison, as if she had built her connections on a fragile surface that was now cracking.

And then came the most recent heartbreak: the betrayal of someone she had trusted completely, a betrayal that shattered her perception of loyalty and friendship. It left her questioning everything and everyone she thought she knew. These tragedies, one after another, pushed Abi into a corner where she could no longer avoid the existential questions she had been too scared to confront.

She thought she had known people well—friends, family, lovers—but it turned out she had been wrong. The sudden unraveling of relationships and trust felt like watching a slow-motion disaster, where each crash and burn left her even more bewildered and disillusioned. Every time she thought she had a firm grasp on something, it slipped away, leaving her to pick up the pieces of her shattered assumptions.

She had lived 21 years, but what had she really accomplished? Had she lived for herself, or had her life been a reflection of everyone else's expectations and desires for her?

Abi sat down on a nearby bench, her thoughts swirling like autumn leaves caught in a gust of wind. She tried to pinpoint where it all went wrong, but it wasn't just one moment. It was a lifetime of small choices, each one influenced by someone else's opinion. The clothes she wore, the subjects she studied, the hobbies she pursued—they all seemed like decisions she had made freely at the time, but now she wondered: had they ever really been her choices?

She had always been the good daughter, the reliable friend, the dutiful student. But now, those roles felt suffocating. Had she ever allowed herself to explore who she truly was? Or had she been living a life crafted by others' visions of who she should be?

As Abi sat, the memories came flooding back. She remembered being 10 years old, dreaming of being a lower , but her parents had gently guided her toward more "practical" ambitions for a girl , and soon law became a pastime, something to indulge in when there was time, but never the central focus of her life.

Now, at 21, she realized she had been living on autopilot, doing what was expected rather than what she truly wanted. She had never allowed herself to step out of the safe, comfortable path laid before her.

The world felt different now. In the aftermath of all these losses, Abi was no longer content with following the path others had set for her. She was filled with a deep, burning desire to take control of her life, to figure out who she was beneath all the expectations. But that desire was accompanied by an equally powerful fear: What if she didn't know who she was at all? What if, after all this time, she had lost the ability to define herself without others' input?

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, pulling her out of her thoughts. A message from her mother, asking her to come over for dinner. Another expectation. Another obligation. Abi loved her family, but even that relationship felt strained lately. They had always been there for her, but now she wondered if their constant presence had kept her from standing on her own two feet.

She stared at the phone for a long moment before tucking it back into her pocket without replying. She wasn't ready for another conversation about what she should be doing with her life, or how she needed to focus on her future. The future. It loomed ahead of her like a blank canvas, but one she was afraid to touch. Could she really start over again this time ?

Abi stood up from the bench, a renewed sense of determination stirring within her. She didn't have all the answers, but maybe that was okay. Maybe the answers would come in time, as long as she started asking the right questions. She had spent 21 years trying to live up to others' expectations, but now it was time to figure out her own.

The path ahead was uncertain, but for the first time in a long while, it felt like it was hers which might not be entirely hers now but soon. Abi took a deep breath, the crisp autumn air filling her lungs, and began walking, not toward anyone else's idea of her future, but toward her own.