What if Tim and Lucy both had kids

Part 16

Lucy moved quietly through the house, turning off the lights as she went. The soft glow of the moon filtered through the curtains, casting faint shadows on the walls. She made her way to her bedroom, the silence now heavy but familiar. Tonight, the stillness of the house felt more like a blanket than a burden—wrapping around her in a bittersweet embrace.
In the bedroom, she slipped out of her clothes and into her comfortable pajamas. The familiar cotton fabric felt soothing against her skin as she moved through her nightly routine, brushing her teeth and washing her face. The reflection in the mirror caught her eye for a moment—she looked tired, more so than usual, with the weight of the past few days and the memories they had stirred.
After a few moments of brushing out her hair, Lucy clicked off the bathroom light and stepped into the dimly lit bedroom. She pulled back the covers of her bed, the familiar creak of the mattress welcoming her as she climbed in. The sheets were cool at first, but as she settled in, the warmth enveloped her, providing some comfort. She reached for her phone on the nightstand and glanced at it—no important messages.
Lucy set her phone down and leaned back against the pillows, staring at the ceiling. Her mind drifted back to Derek and Chloe, the memories swirling in her chest, but she didn't resist them. Tonight, she allowed herself to remember them fully—their love, their presence, and their absence. It was the same ritual she found herself in on nights like this, but it was also what helped her heal, even after all these years.
She closed her eyes, picturing Chloe as she might have been, imagining her running through the house, her giggles filling the air, her tiny hands reaching for Lucy's. And Derek—his strong, comforting arms, the way he used to hold her close at night, whispering that everything would be alright, no matter what. Lucy let out a breath, slow and deep, the ache in her heart settling into something quieter, softer, as though time had dulled its sharp edges.
Her fingers brushed against the wedding ring she still wore on a chain around her neck—a piece of Derek she kept close, a reminder of the life they'd built and the love that had shaped her into who she was today.
The quiet of the room was now calming, lulling her closer to sleep. She adjusted her pillow and curled up under the covers, feeling the familiar heaviness of exhaustion finally pull at her limbs. Lucy knew tomorrow would bring its own challenges, but for now, she could rest.
With one final, deep breath, she whispered softly into the darkness.
Lucy- Goodnight, babe and goodnight, princess.
And with that, Lucy let the heaviness of sleep finally take over, her body relaxing into the bed as her mind drifted into the stillness of the night.
In the quiet of the house, the night passed peacefully, as Lucy, finally, drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Lucy woke up to the sound of the alarm clock. She stretched, feeling the weight of yesterday slowly dissolve as the new day beckoned. The house was quiet, save for the gentle ticking of the clock on her nightstand. For a moment, she lay there, savoring the stillness, before rolling out of bed and slipping into her robe.
She padded down the hallway, stopping briefly outside Theo's room to give the door a soft knock.
Lucy- Theo, time to get up.
No response came, as expected.
Smiling to herself, Lucy made her way to the kitchen to start breakfast. She moved on autopilot, pulling out eggs, bread, and some fruit for Theo. The kitchen was bathed in the early morning light, casting a warm glow over the countertops as she cracked eggs into the skillet, the soft sizzle filling the air. She sliced strawberries, arranging them on the side of the plate, and set the coffee maker to brew.
As the smell of breakfast began to fill the house, Lucy realized Theo hadn't stirred yet. She wiped her hands on a towel and headed back to the hallway, knocking on his door again, this time a little louder.
Lucy- Theo, c'mon, you're gonna be late.
Again, no response.
Lucy sighed, shaking her head fondly. She turned the doorknob and stepped into his room, where Theo was still curled up under the covers, completely lost to the world.
Lucy crossed the room, pulling back the curtains to let the morning sun stream in.
Lucy- Time to get up, sleepyhead. You've got school.
Theo groaned from beneath the blankets, pulling them tighter around himself, but the sunlight was relentless. Lucy chuckled softly.
Lucy- Up. Now. Breakfast is almost ready.
She gave the edge of his blanket a playful tug before heading back to the kitchen. As she returned to her cooking, the sound of Theo's slow shuffling footsteps followed soon after, signaling his reluctant approach.
Theo- Morning, Mom. He mumbled, still half-asleep as he slumped into a chair at the kitchen table.
His hair stuck up in all directions, and he blinked at the bright kitchen light.
Lucy set his plate in front of him, the eggs perfectly scrambled, the toast lightly buttered, and the strawberries neatly arranged.
Lucy- Morning, kiddo. Eat up. You've got about twenty minutes before we need to head out.
Theo glanced at the clock, rubbing his eyes, his voice still thick with sleep.
Theo- It's too early for this, Mom. Why do we even have to go to school so early?
Lucy chuckled softly as she poured herself a cup of coffee.
Lucy- That's life, kid. Besides, it's not that early.
Theo groaned dramatically, poking at his eggs with a fork.
Theo- Feels like the middle of the night.
Lucy smiled as she leaned against the counter, sipping her coffee.
Lucy- Trust me, when you're older, you'll be wishing for these kinds of mornings. Enjoy it while you can.
Theo raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.
Theo- Yeah, sure. I bet you're just trying to trick me into liking mornings.
Lucy- Hey, I'm not saying you have to like them. You just have to survive them.
Theo gave a small grin at that, slowly starting to eat his breakfast. His hair was still wild, and Lucy couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for him. Despite his grumbling, he had always been a good kid, navigating everything life had thrown at them with more grace than many adults would have managed.
After a few minutes of quiet, Theo finally finished his breakfast and stood up to grab his backpack.
Theo- Alright, I'm ready... I guess.
Lucy- C'mon, let's get going before we end up being late.
They headed out the door and into the cool morning air, the quiet streets still waking up along with them. The car ride was peaceful, with Theo slumped against the passenger seat, his eyes half-closed as they drove toward the school.
When they pulled up to the drop-off zone, Lucy gave him a quick, affectionate look.
Lucy- Have a good day, okay?
Theo- Yeah, you too, Mom.
He opened the door, hopping out with his backpack slung over one shoulder. Lucy watched him join the crowd of students milling about outside the school entrance before pulling away.
Her mind shifted to her own day ahead, the fire station already buzzing in her thoughts. She knew today could bring anything—a quiet shift, a sudden call, or something in between—but whatever it was, she was ready for it.
As she arrived at the station, the morning light bathed the building in a warm glow. Lucy parked, grabbing her bag and making her way inside, where she met Tim.
Lucy and Tim walked into the station, the familiar hum of the early shift greeted them.
Tim- Morning, Lucy. Ready for another one?
Lucy smiled, adjusting her bag on her shoulder.
Lucy- Morning, Tim. As ready as I'll ever be. Let's hope for a quiet day.
Tim chuckled and shook his head.
Tim- Yeah, but with our luck, we'll be in full gear by noon.
They shared a quick, easy smile before heading toward their respective locker rooms.
Tim- Alright, see you in roll call.
Lucy- See you in a few.
They parted ways, Tim disappearing into the men's locker room while Lucy pushed open the door to the women's locker room. Inside, the space was quiet. Lucy moved to her locker, quickly opening it and pulling out her gear.
As she changed into her uniform, the motions were familiar and soothing, each step part of the ritual that prepared her for whatever the day might bring. She slid into her boots, lacing them tightly, and worked on the buttons, making sure everything was in place and then she took off the necklace.
Once ready, Lucy glanced at her reflection in the small mirror inside her locker. She looked determined, focused, and just a little bit tired, but that was nothing new. With a final deep breath, she closed the locker and headed back out into the station.
The noise level had picked up in the hallway, the crew gathering for the day's roll call. Lucy spotted Tim already seated, chatting with a couple of their colleagues. She took her place beside him, the two exchanging a quick glance.
As Lucy settled into her seat next to Tim, the crew began to quiet down as Grey walked to the front of the room, clipboard in hand. His no-nonsense demeanor made it clear that even if they were just starting the day, the team needed to be sharp.
Grey- Morning, everyone.
The crew responded with a collective, subdued "morning," still shaking off the early hour.
Grey- Alright, let's get into it. Weather's good today, no big events scheduled, but you know how it goes—things can change fast. Stay alert.
He went over the assignments, shifts, and a few notes on safety procedures, emphasizing communication on the radios. Lucy listened closely, though she had heard it all before. There was something comforting about the routine, the predictability of these briefings before the unpredictability of the day ahead.
Grey- One last thing: city council's still got their eyes on the budget, so keep the station in good order. No messes, no issues.
A few people exchanged glances, knowing that meant they'd all be under scrutiny for the next few weeks. Grey looked down at his clipboard once more before dismissing them.
Grey- Alright, that's all for today. Stay safe out there. Dismissed.
The room shifted as chairs scraped back, and everyone began to file out, chatting amongst themselves. Lucy stood up, rolling her shoulders as she stretched.
Tim- Another thrilling briefing.
Lucy smirked, grabbing her radio and adjusting her belt.
Lucy- Yeah.
They exchanged a quick smile before heading out to the engine bay, the brisk morning air filtering in through the open doors. The day was just starting, and the station felt alive with the usual hum of activity—gear being checked, radios tested, and the occasional sound of laughter from their colleagues.
Tim- Let's hope we don't get anything too crazy today.
Lucy- No promises. You know the second you say something like that, we'll be knee-deep in trouble before lunch.
Tim- Alright, fine. Let me rephrase that—let's just get through today.
They climbed into the shop, the familiar creak of the seats under them as they settled in.
As the shop moved through the quiet streets, the engine's steady hum filled the silence between Lucy and Tim. For a while, they both remained quiet, watching as the city slowly came to life around them. Lucy shifted in her seat, glancing out the window before deciding to break the stillness.
Lucy- So, anything exciting happen lately? Or did Josy finally tell you what the big weekend plans are?
Tim's expression softened at the mention of his daughter. His tough exterior always seemed to melt just a little when Josy came up. He shot Lucy a quick glance, shaking his head with an amused smile.
Tim- Exciting? Not really. As for Josy... nope. Still top secret.
Lucy chuckled, raising an eyebrow.
Lucy- Seriously? She's still keeping you in the dark? What, is she planning a heist or something?
Tim- At this point, who knows? All I know is I'm supposed to be 'ready for anything.' Her words.
Tim chuckled softly, shaking his head as he kept his eyes on the road.
Tim- Yup. 'Ready for anything.' I don't know whether to be excited or terrified.
Lucy grinned, leaning back in her seat, clearly entertained by the situation.
Lucy- Well, now I'm really curious. I mean, if it's that big of a secret, it's gotta be something special, right? Josy doesn't seem like the type to make a big deal out of nothing.
Tim- You'd think, but she's been extra sneaky about this one. The way she's going, she could be planning a bank heist, and I wouldn't know until it was halfway over.
Lucy laughed, shaking her head.
Lucy- I doubt it's that dramatic. But she probably just wants to make it memorable for you. Big weekend, father-daughter thing. You know how teenagers can be.
Tim smiled at that, a little wistful.
Tim- Yeah. It's nice that she still wants to do things together. I'm lucky she hasn't hit that phase where I'm just the old man who embarrasses her.
Lucy- Oh, don't worry. That phase is gonna come before you even realize it.
She smirked at him playfully, and Tim groaned in response.
Tim- Great. Something to look forward to.
They drove in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the city slowly coming to life outside the windows. Lucy glanced at Tim, watching him for a moment before speaking again.
Tim- So, how are you holding up? You know, with everything...
Lucy- I've been thinking a lot lately... about everything.
Tim's attention shifted slightly, his eyes still on the road, but she could tell he was listening.
Lucy- Especially about Theo. I've been feeling bad... I haven't been as present for him as I should be. I've been emotionally absent, and I don't know how much longer I can keep blaming it on 'just being on my period'.
She let out a small laugh, but there wasn't much humor in it. Tim glanced at her for a moment, concern creeping into his features.
Tim- You told Theo that?
Lucy- Yeah. I figured it was easier to just say it was hormones or whatever, and he'd leave it at that. He's young, Tim. He's got his own stuff going on—school, friends... I don't want to burden him with everything.
Tim remained quiet, giving her the space to say what she needed.
Lucy- I've thought about telling Theo about it. You know, about what actually happened to his dad, and maybe how he almost had a little sister. But he's still young. I don't want to hurt him.
Tim's gaze flickered to Lucy again, his expression more serious now. After a brief pause, he spoke carefully, weighing each word.
Tim- Look, Lucy, it's your decision. You know Theo better than anyone. You'll know when—if—he's ready to hear it. But... if you ask me, I think it might be too early.
Lucy turned slightly toward him, her brow furrowing as she absorbed his words.
Lucy- Too early?
Tim nodded, his grip tightening briefly on the steering wheel before relaxing again.
Tim- Yeah. I mean, even for me, hearing everything... it was a lot, you know? And I'm not even involved. I'm just your friend— you're my best friend. But it was... heavy. And Theo's just a kid. Throwing something like this at him now might weigh him down in ways you don't want.
Lucy let out a breath, her shoulders slumping a little as she considered what he was saying.
Lucy- I know it's a lot. But sometimes I think I'm doing more damage by not telling him. Like, maybe I'm leaving him in the dark when he needs to know the truth. I just don't want him to think that I was lying to him.
Tim glanced at Lucy again, the weight of the conversation hanging between them. The engine hummed softly, and for a moment, neither of them said anything. He knew Lucy had more on her mind, and he was prepared to listen, to be there for her as she worked through it.
Tim- The right time will come, Lucy. You'll know when it feels right. It's not about hiding anything from him—it's about protecting him until he's ready.
Lucy nodded, a slight tension leaving her shoulders as she absorbed Tim's words. She knew he was right, but it didn't make the decision any easier.
Lucy- Yeah... you're right.
A comfortable silence settled in the shop, the city streets slowly passing by outside the windows. Lucy stared ahead, her thoughts drifting through the memories she'd been trying to push away. After a while, she broke the quiet, her voice barely above a whisper.
Lucy- Chloe.
Tim's brow furrowed as he glanced at her again, but he didn't say anything. He waited, sensing that she needed to get something out.
Lucy- That's what her name would have been. Chloe. We picked it when I was pregnant with Theo, but we decided not to find out the gender until he was born. We liked the idea of it being a surprise.
Her voice was soft, reflective, as though she was speaking more to herself than to Tim. She looked down at her hands, fidgeting slightly.
Lucy- But the second time... I couldn't stay in the dark. I needed to know. When they told me it was a girl, I cried. He loved Theo, but he always wanted to have a daughter. I was happy, really, I hadn't been happy for months, but in that moment, I thought things were finally getting better.
Tim's grip on the steering wheel tightened, but he stayed quiet, letting her continue.
Lucy- We had already picked out the name nine years before, Theo and Chloe, the names we have picked. Chloe. It just felt right. When I found out it was a girl, everything felt... like it was falling into place. For a moment, I let myself believe that maybe we were going to be okay.
She exhaled shakily, her eyes clouded with a mix of sadness and nostalgia.
Lucy- It's strange how you can feel so much hope in one second, and then... have it all ripped away in the next.
Tim glanced at her, the concern and compassion evident on his face, but he still didn't interrupt. He knew this was Lucy's moment to speak, to let some of the weight she'd been carrying out into the open.
Lucy- I guess I've been holding onto that name for so long, like it's this part of me that I can't let go.
Tim took in Lucy's words, feeling the weight of the emotions she was finally releasing. His gaze softened as he considered how to respond. He He didn't want to brush off her pain, but he also wanted to offer her something that could help ease the burden she'd carried for so long.
Tim- Chloe's a beautiful name.
Lucy's eyes flickered toward him, her expression unreadable but her lips pressed together as if she was holding back more emotion
Tim- And I think it's okay that you haven't let go of it. Some things... we're not supposed to let go of. I think holding onto her name, her memory, doesn't mean you're stuck. It means she mattered. It means that she's a part of you and always will be.
Lucy looked down at her hands again, twisting them together in her lap, her shoulders still tense.
Tim- You know, people talk about 'moving on,' like you have to leave everything behind to heal. But maybe healing is about carrying certain things with you. Like Chloe. Not as a weight, but as a reminder of the love you had for her. It's okay to keep her with you, Lucy. She's your daughter, and no one can ever take that from you.
Lucy let out a shaky breath.
Lucy- Sometimes I feel guilty... like I should have moved on by now, or at least not think about her as much. But I can't help it.
Tim's voice was gentle, but firm, as he met her gaze.
Tim- You shouldn't feel guilty. There's no timeline for grief, no right or wrong way to do it. You don't have to forget her to live your life. You've done so much for Theo, for yourself, and you're still standing. That's more than most people could do after what you've been through.
She took a deep breath, not wanting to break down completely, but his words were sinking in.
Tim- Chloe's name, that feeling you had when you found out she was going to be a girl—that's yours to hold onto. It doesn't take away from your happiness with Theo. It doesn't take away from your strength. It just means you have more love in your heart, even if it's painful sometimes.
Lucy stared out the window for a moment, gathering her thoughts, before she spoke softly.
Lucy- I had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with Theo.
Tim glanced at her, surprised.
Lucy- He knew, he was there with me while it happened, but I never really talked about it with anyone else. It hurt, but... it didn't feel the same as losing Chloe.
She let out a shaky breath, her voice thick with emotion.
Lucy- I didn't grieve back then. I just moved on, almost like it didn't happen. And now, I feel guilty. Like, I should have felt more—should feel more... but I don't.
Tim's brow furrowed in concern, his voice steady but gentle.
Tim- That doesn't make you a bad person, Lucy. Grief isn't something you can measure or compare. You were in a different place then.
Lucy- But why does it feel so different? I feel like I should have cared more.
Tim glanced over to her, focusing on the street.
Tim- You did care. It just hit you differently. It doesn't mean one loss matters more than the other. You're allowed to feel what you feel.
Lucy stared down at her hands, her voice trembling as she spoke, barely above a whisper.
Lucy- I'm a bad person... a bad mom. I should have cared more. I should have felt more...
She trailed off, the guilt crushing her as she finally said aloud what had been festering inside her for years. Her voice cracked, and she squeezed her hands together tightly, as if trying to hold herself together.
Tim glanced at her, then back at the road, the tension in the car growing heavier. He couldn't let her keep believing this.
Tim- Lucy...
His voice was gentle, but there was firmness underneath, the kind of tone that demanded her attention. He pulled over, stopping the car on the side of the road, needing her to hear him.
Tim- You're not a bad person. And you're not a bad mom. The first time it happened, you weren't alone. You still had your husband with you. He was there for you, right? You had him to lean on, to get through it together.
Lucy swallowed hard, her eyes filling with tears, but she didn't interrupt.
Tim- There was no other kid to take care of then. You had time to process things, maybe even talk to someone about it. You weren't carrying everything by yourself.
Lucy blinked, her chest tightening as Tim's words began to crack through the wall she'd built around her guilt.
Tim-  But the second time, with Chloe... you were alone. You had to take care of Theo. You had to keep going because he needed you. You didn't have the time, or the space, to fall apart. And maybe—maybe the only thing that kept you going was Theo. He was the last thing your husband left you.
Her breath hitched at his words, and she felt a knot in her throat, the truth of it hitting her like a wave.
Lucy- Theo was all I had left... He was the only reason I kept going.
Tim turned to face her fully, his gaze steady, eyes filled with compassion.
Tim- And that doesn't make you a bad person, Lucy. It makes you a mother. You did what you had to do to survive, to keep going for Theo. You didn't have the luxury of falling apart, so things got worse and worse. It doesn't mean you loved the first baby any less.
A tear slipped down Lucy's cheek, and she quickly wiped it away, feeling the heavy weight of years of guilt start to lift, just a little.
Tim- You were in survival mode, Lucy. That's not a weakness, and it doesn't make you a bad mom. It just means you did what you had to do. And you're still standing. That's strength, not failure.
Lucy let out a shaky breath, her heart pounding in her chest, but for the first time, she didn't feel like she was drowning in guilt.
Lucy sat in the quiet that followed, her emotions swirling, but a small sense of peace creeping in. She glanced over at Tim, his steady presence calming her in a way she hadn't expected.
Lucy- Thank you.
Her voice was soft, almost a whisper, but the words carried all the weight of the emotions she'd kept bottled up for so long. She looked down at her hands, twisting them together nervously.
Lucy- I feel terrible for dumping all of this on you.
She hesitated, her words faltering.
Lucy- I don't... I don't talk to anyone else about it. I can't. I don't trust them.
Tim glanced at her, his expression softening. He didn't say anything right away, sensing there was more she needed to get out.
Lucy- Everyone means well, you know? But they either don't get it, or they try to fix things with the usual 'it'll get better' or 'time heals everything' stuff. I just... I can't do that. I can't pretend like it's going to magically be okay.
She looked at Tim, her eyes searching his, needing him to understand the depth of what she was trying to say.
Lucy- I trust you. You're the only one I feel like I can be... honest with. And I hate that I'm unloading all of this on you, but I don't know who else to turn to.
Tim's gaze was steady, his heart heavy with the weight of what Lucy had just admitted. He took a deep breath, his voice gentle but firm.
Tim- Lucy, you don't ever have to apologize for that. You're not dumping anything on me. I'm here because I want to be, because I care about you. You've been carrying all of this alone for too long. You deserve someone to listen.
Lucy swallowed, her throat tight as she felt a new wave of emotion rising. She didn't know how to express the relief she felt, knowing there was someone she could talk to without judgment, without feeling like a burden.
Lucy- I just... I don't want to be a problem for you.
Tim shook his head, his voice gentle but resolute.
Tim- You're not a problem, Lucy. You're my friend, you showed me what a real friend is. You've been there for me, too.