What if Tim and Lucy both had kids

Part 17

Tim- You're not a problem, Lucy. You're my friend, and you showed me what a real friend is. You've been there for me, too.
They sat in silence after that, the words hanging in the air, heavy but necessary. Lucy shifted in her seat, the emotional weight still present but no longer suffocating her. Tim leaned back against the headrest, staring out the windshield, giving her space to process.
For a while, neither of them said anything. The quiet was comfortable, a shared moment of peace after the storm of emotions. They both needed the pause, to let the weight of what was said settle in. The silence stretched on, and it felt like for the first time in a while, they didn't need to rush anything.
That's when Tim's gaze shifted slightly to the dash-mounted camera. It hit him like a ton of bricks—the entire conversation, everything Lucy had just shared, had been recorded. The camera had been running the whole time. He tensed, knowing someone would review that footage at the end of the week. Someone would hear everything and probably tell other people.
His stomach knotted, but he kept his expression neutral, not wanting to alarm Lucy. She had trusted him with her deepest pain, and the last thing she'd want was for anyone else to know. He made a mental note to handle it later, to find a way to delete the footage before anyone saw it. He'd figure something out. For now, though, he kept quiet, his mind already spinning with ways to fix this.
A while later, Lucy shifted beside him, breaking the silence. The tension between them still lingered, but it was different now—less heavy, more bearable. They were both still trying to ignore it, though neither of them could fully shake the weight of everything that had been said.
They refocused on their work, running plates and routine checks, their voices more professional now, though there was an unspoken understanding between them. Tim kept glancing at Lucy, making sure she was okay, but she seemed more grounded, even if the tension hadn't entirely left her.
After a while, Tim made a turn that surprised Lucy. He was heading back to the station, even though they'd only been out for around three hours.
Lucy frowned slightly, glancing at the clock on the dashboard.
Lucy- Why are we heading back? We've only been out for a few hours.
Tim kept his eyes on the road, his expression unreadable.
Tim- I have to talk to Grey about something.
Lucy studied him for a moment, sensing there was more he wasn't saying, but she didn't push. She trusted him, and right now, after everything they'd just talked about, she didn't have the energy to question him further. She nodded, leaning back in her seat, letting the drive back to the station continue in relative silence.
Tim's thoughts, however, were anything but quiet. His mind raced, planning how he was going to take care of the footage, how he'd make sure no one else ever heard what Lucy had shared. He wasn't going to let anyone invade her privacy. Not after everything she'd trusted him with.
As they neared the station, Lucy's curiosity got the better of her. She had been watching Tim closely, noticing the subtle tension in his jaw, the way his fingers gripped the steering wheel just a bit tighter than usual. Something was off. She knew him well enough by now to sense when he was hiding something, and this was one of those moments.
Lucy- Tim, what's so urgent that you have to talk to Grey about? Why can't it wait?
Her voice was cautious but direct, breaking the lingering silence. She wasn't trying to pry, but she needed to understand what was going on. Something didn't feel right, and the way Tim was acting only heightened her suspicion.
Tim hesitated for a second, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. He could feel the weight of her gaze on him, and there was no way around it. Lucy deserved honesty, especially after everything she'd just shared with him. She had been vulnerable, trusting him with her most personal pain, and there was no way he was going to betray that trust.
Tim- It's about the cameras.
He saw her brow furrow in confusion. He took a deep breath, knowing that he couldn't sugarcoat this.
Tim- The cameras... they've been recording everything we talked about.
Lucy's eyes widened slightly, the realization hitting her. Her posture stiffened, and she immediately glanced at the dash-mounted camera, down to her body-cam and over to his. She hadn't even thought about it, but now it was all too clear. Her confessions, the things she didn't want anyone else to know, were recorded.
Lucy- What?
Her voice was quiet, but the panic was evident. She turned to face him fully, her heart racing. The thought of someone else hearing her pain, her vulnerability—it was too much.
Tim- I'm going to make sure no one sees it.
He kept his voice steady, trying to reassure her.
Tim- I'll talk to Grey. We'll get rid of the footage before anyone reviews it. No one will hear what you said. I promise.
Lucy's eyes were wide with a mix of fear and disbelief. She trusted Tim, but the idea of anyone else knowing what she had just told him was overwhelming.
Lucy- Tim, I... I can't—
Tim- Hey.
He cut her off gently, glancing at her with a soft but determined expression.
Tim- I've got this, okay? I'll handle it. You don't have to worry about anything.
There was a long pause as Lucy tried to process his words. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, the quiet determination that told her he would do whatever it took to protect her.
Lucy- You really think you can get rid of it?
Tim nodded firmly.
Tim- We'll figure it out, somehow.
Lucy let out a shaky breath, the initial panic slowly ebbing away, though the tension still lingered.
Lucy- I don't know what I'd do if anyone else heard what I said. I... I can't— I don't want people knowing that stuff, Tim.
Tim's gaze softened, his voice steady but warm.
Tim- It's going to be okay, we'll deal with it.
Lucy searched his face, feeling the sincerity behind his words. Slowly, she nodded, though the unease still simmered beneath the surface. She didn't say anything else, but the silent understanding between them was enough for now.
As they pulled into the station's parking lot, Tim felt the weight of what he needed to do, but there was no hesitation. He'd protect Lucy's privacy, no matter what it took.
Tim parked the car and turned off the engine, giving her one more reassuring look before they stepped out.
Tim- Let me handle this. I'll talk to Grey.
Tim stepped out of the patrol car, and Lucy followed silently behind him, her anxiety palpable. She trusted Tim, but the weight of knowing her personal confessions had been recorded was almost unbearable. She stuck close to him, unsure whether to wait outside while he talked to Grey or go in with him, but as Tim reached the doors to the station, she made up her mind. She wasn't going to leave this to chance—this was too important.
Without saying a word, she followed Tim up the stairs and into the building. His pace was deliberate, and Lucy could tell he was formulating exactly how he was going to handle this. They reached Grey's office, and Tim glanced at her briefly before knocking on the door.
Grey's gruff voice answered from the other side.
Grey- Come in.
Tim pushed the door open, holding it for Lucy as they both stepped inside. Grey, sitting at his desk, looked up at them with a questioning look, immediately picking up on the tension between them. He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest.
Grey- How can I help you?
Tim stood tall, clearing his throat. He was usually direct with Grey, but this was different. He needed to find the right words, and fast.
Tim- We've got a situation. It's about the camera footage.
Grey raised an eyebrow, his gaze hardening as he sat up straight, waiting for more.
Tim- While we were out earlier, Lucy and I had a conversation... a personal one. We didn't realize it was being recorded.
He paused, trying to gauge Grey's reaction, but before he could continue, Lucy stepped forward, her voice soft but steady.
Lucy- I can't have anyone review that footage.
Tim glanced at her, surprised that she was stepping in, but he didn't interrupt. Lucy's hands were clasped tightly in front of her, her posture tense, but her voice didn't waver.
Lucy- I said things... things that were personal. I forgot the cameras were running, and now all of it is on tape.
Grey- Look, I can't just delete footage like that. There are protocols in place, and I have to follow them. You both know that.
Tim exchanged a quick glance with Lucy before stepping forward, his voice firm but respectful.
Tim- It's personal, Sergeant. This isn't something we're asking lightly. It's not about hiding anything that would affect the job—it's about protecting Lucy's privacy.
Grey's brow furrowed as he studied the two of them. His gaze shifted to Lucy, his tone softer but still serious.
Grey- I get that it's personal, but if I'm going to override standard procedure, I need to know what I'm dealing with. What exactly was said in that conversation?
Lucy's heart raced. She hadn't expected to be faced with this decision so soon. She hesitated, glancing down at her hands, her fingers twisting nervously. The idea of reliving the conversation, of telling Grey everything—especially about him—made her stomach churn. But if she didn't, the footage would eventually be reviewed, and the entire station could know. She couldn't let that happen.
Lucy's voice was barely a whisper when she finally spoke.
Lucy- It's... about my past. I said things about—
She stopped, the name catching in her throat. Her husband. It felt too raw, too exposed. She swallowed hard, forcing herself to continue.
Lucy- It's about my husband. And... kids.
She saw Grey's expression shift, the realization of just how deep this went hitting him. Tim stood silently beside her, offering quiet support, his presence grounding her.
Grey- You're telling me this is related to your family?
Lucy nodded, her voice shaking slightly as she continued.
Lucy- I said some things... things I haven't talked about in years. I didn't realize the cameras were on, but now... if that footage gets out, people will hear everything. And I'm not ready for that. I don't want anyone knowing, Sergeant. Not about them.
Grey looked at her closely, the weight of her words sinking in. There was a long, heavy pause as Lucy's confession hung in the air. He could see how much this was costing her, how vulnerable she had made herself just by being here.
Lucy- If you need to know, I'd rather you be the only one who hears it. I just... I can't handle the whole station knowing.
Grey leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his face as he processed her words. The tension in the room was palpable, but there was no denying the gravity of what she'd just shared. He took a deep breath, looking at Lucy with a mix of empathy and seriousness.
Grey sighed heavily and gestured for them to sit down. He knew from their expressions that this conversation wasn't going to be quick or easy. Lucy sat first, her posture tense and withdrawn, while Tim took the chair next to her, his eyes flickering between her and Grey.
Grey- Alright, sit down. Seems like this is going to take a while.
Tim glanced at Lucy, concern etched on his face. He leaned toward her, his voice low but gentle.
Tim- Are you sure?
Lucy gave him a small, almost imperceptible nod, her gaze focused on the floor. Her hands trembled slightly in her lap, but she was determined. She had come this far—there was no turning back now. She took a deep breath, and her voice came out shaky as she began.
Lucy It started at the beginning of the week... Monday.
Her words were fragile, but steady. She turned to Tim, the tension in her body visible. He gave her an understanding look, offering to take over with just a glance. Lucy nodded again, her relief palpable. She didn't have to do this alone.
Tim sat up straighter, his voice calm as he began to explain to Grey everything that had transpired. He spoke about how Lucy had broken down earlier in the week, how they'd both signed off early, and why they had chosen to stay in the station doing paperwork the following day. He explained how Lucy had confided in him, telling him things she hadn't spoken of in years.
As Tim spoke, Grey's expression shifted from stoic professionalism to something softer, more understanding. He listened intently as Tim recounted Lucy's breakdown—how she had shared the story of her late husband, the miscarriage she'd suffered, and how she'd kept so much of her pain buried for so long. And today, how she had finally revealed the name of the daughter she had lost: Chloe.
Lucy sat quietly beside Tim, her gaze unfocused, staring at nothing as Tim's voice filled the room. It was almost as though she were dissociating, the weight of reliving those memories too much to bear in the present moment. Her fingers twisted together nervously, a silent display of the turmoil inside her.
When Tim finished speaking, Grey leaned forward slightly, his voice low but empathetic.
Grey- You've been carrying a lot, Chen. More than anyone should have to.
He paused, rubbing his hand over his face as he absorbed the gravity of everything he had just heard.
Grey- I'm sorry you've had to go through all of that. And I understand why you're asking me to delete the footage.
There was a long pause. Grey looked between the two of them, his heart heavy with the decision he had to make.
Grey- I wish I could tell you it's as simple as pressing a button and wiping it clean. But there are procedures—
Tim, sensing the tension rising in Lucy, spoke up, his tone firm but respectful.
Tim- We're not asking you to break protocol lightly, Sergeant. This is personal. It doesn't affect the job or the cases. It's about protecting her privacy.
Grey studied them both for a moment, then sighed, his tone softening as he addressed Lucy directly.
Grey- I'll be honest with you, Chen. After hearing everything... I can't just let this sit on some server, waiting for someone else to stumble upon it. I'll take care of it. I'll make sure no one sees that footage.
Lucy finally looked up at Grey, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
Lucy- Thank you.
She whispered, her voice hoarse from holding back so much emotion.
Lucy slowly stood up from her chair, her body heavy with exhaustion. She gave Grey a small, almost imperceptible nod, acknowledging his words, but she couldn't muster the energy to say anything more. It was too much—everything was too much.
Grey noticed her about to leave and raised his hand slightly, as if to stop her, to say something, but the words caught in his throat. Lucy didn't notice. Her mind was already elsewhere, her feet moving on their own, carrying her toward the door. She just needed to get out. Away from Grey.
As she stepped out of Grey's office, the familiar sounds of the station felt distant, muffled, like she was walking underwater. She barely registered the other officers moving around her. She just kept walking, the pressure in her chest growing tighter with every step.
She was headed toward the locker room, but part of her knew it wouldn't be enough. She needed space, silence, somewhere she could breathe. She just didn't want to be seen right now—didn't want the curious eyes of her coworkers noticing the way her hands trembled or the way her face was crumbling under the weight of her emotions.
As she reached the hallway leading to the lockers, her steps faltered. Her body felt like it was betraying her, slowing her down when all she wanted was to hide. And that's when she heard it—her own story replaying in her head, except this time it wasn't her voice telling it. It was Tim's.
Lucy stopped, squeezing her eyes shut, willing the memories to go away. But they didn't. She swallowed hard, feeling her heart pound in her chest. Why had she let herself open up like that? She had tried so hard for so long to keep Chloe, Theo, and everything else hidden away, and now...
Tim- Lucy.
Tim's voice cut through her spiraling thoughts. She turned around slowly, seeing him walking toward her. His expression was soft, concerned. He had stayed back in Grey's office, exchanging a few final words with their sergeant after she had walked out, but now he was here. For her.
Tim- Come on.
Tim said gently, stepping closer.
Tim- Let's go to my office.
She hesitated, her eyes darting back toward the locker room.
Lucy- I just need a minute.
She whispered, her voice barely audible.
Tim nodded, his tone reassuring.
Tim- No one's in my office. You'll have some space there.
Lucy didn't argue. The idea of the locker room now felt suffocating, a place where anyone could walk in at any moment. But Tim's office—it was quieter, safer. She nodded, her body moving without thinking as she followed him down the hall.
They reached his office quickly, and Lucy stepped inside. The small room felt a world away from the chaos of the station. It was quiet, just the hum of the air conditioning breaking the silence. Tim closed the door behind them, making sure no one could intrude.
Lucy walked to the nearest chair and sank into it, her arms wrapping around her torso as if to hold herself together. She didn't say anything, didn't know what to say. All the words she had shared earlier felt raw and exposed now, like they didn't belong to her anymore.
Tim sat across from her, his presence grounding but not invasive. He didn't push, didn't try to get her to talk. He just let her be, sitting quietly, waiting for her to find the words when she was ready.
Lucy finally looked up, her voice barely a whisper.
Lucy- I didn't realize how hard it would be... hearing someone else talk about them, letting someone else know.
Tim shifted slightly in his chair, leaning forward with a softness in his eyes that Lucy hadn't seen in a long time. He took a breath, carefully choosing his words.
Tim - I know... it's different when it's not just inside your head anymore. When it's out there, it feels... exposed.
His voice was calm, steady, but it held a deep understanding. He wasn't trying to fix anything, just acknowledging how overwhelming it must be for her.
Lucy nodded, swallowing hard. She hadn't expected it to hurt so much—to feel this raw, like the wounds she'd buried so deeply were being reopened just by hearing someone else talk about them.
Lucy- I thought I was ready...
Tim leaned back slightly, a somber expression crossing his face as he listened to Lucy's words. He let them hang in the air for a moment before speaking, his tone soft but steady.
Tim- Lucy... you're never going to be ready. Not for something like this.
She looked up at him, her brows furrowing slightly, but she didn't interrupt. Tim took a deep breath, his mind drifting back to the memories he hadn't revisited in a while.
Tim- I thought I was ready too, when I told you about Isabel. But the truth is, I wasn't. I just reached a point where I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Lucy's eyes softened as she remembered that day. Tim had opened up to her about his ex-wife, Isabel, and how her addiction had led her down a dark path. It wasn't easy for him to talk about—she could see that then, just as she could see how much it was costing him to share now.
Tim- You remember how I almost lost custody of Josy, two years after she left, right?
Lucy nodded quietly, knowing the weight of that memory for him.
Tim- When Isabel disappeared again, I thought... I thought I'd finally have some closure. But the moment I said it out loud to you, the moment I let someone else know how close I came to losing everything, it hit me in a way I didn't expect.
His voice was calm, but there was a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes. He was sharing something real, something he didn't let many people see.
Tim- It didn't matter that Isabel was gone again. That fear... the fear of losing what mattered most, not knowing what they did to Josy while she had her, if they harmed her, if they did anything worse—it was always there. It still is.
Lucy's breath hitched slightly as she listened, feeling the rawness in Tim's words. She could relate to that fear, the gnawing anxiety that never truly went away, no matter how much time passed.
Tim- I'm not saying my situation is anything like yours, Lucy. It's not.
He paused, his eyes locking with hers, making sure she understood that he wasn't trying to compare their pain.
Tim- But I do know what it's like to carry something so heavy for so long that you think it'll destroy you if you let it out.
Lucy nodded slowly, her throat tightening as she remembered the weight of Chloe's memory, of Derek, of everything she had buried for so long. She had tried to keep it inside, thinking she was protecting herself. But now... now it felt like the floodgates had opened, and there was no turning back.
Tim- When I told you about Isabel, it didn't make things easier right away. If anything, it made it harder at first.
His voice dropped, becoming almost a whisper.
Tim- But it helped me, Lucy. Talking to you about it helped me.
Lucy's gaze softened, and she felt a lump in her throat. Tim's words were hitting her deeply, and she realized that even though this was hard, maybe—just maybe—letting it out had been the right thing to do.
Tim- You don't have to be ready to deal with all of this right now. No one's expecting that. But you can't keep carrying it alone. You've already taken the first step, and that's what matters.
There was a quiet understanding between them now, a shared connection of two people who knew what it felt like to be weighed down by the past.
Tim leaned forward slightly, his eyes never leaving hers.
Tim- What you're going through... it's not something you just 'get over.' And you shouldn't have to.
Lucy swallowed, her voice barely audible when she finally spoke.
Lucy- It just feels so... exposed, you know? Like now that it's out there, I can't take it back.
Tim nodded, understanding the fear in her words.
Tim- I get that. But you don't have to take it back. You trusted me with it, and I'm not going anywhere. Neither is Grey.
He reached out, placing a hand on the table between them, not touching her, but offering silent support.
Tim- You didn't let them go by talking about them, Lucy. Chloe and your husband—they'll always be with you. But maybe now, you won't have to carry it all by yourself.
Lucy blinked back the tears that threatened to spill, her chest tight with emotion. Tim's words were both comforting and terrifying at the same time, but she knew he was right.
Lucy- Derek. His name was Derek.
Tim looked at Lucy, seeing the weight of her grief and everything she'd been holding back for so long. He didn't want to open that wound any further, but he knew what she needed right now wasn't just reassurance—it was recognition.
Tim- I didn't know Derek, but I've seen what kind of person Theo is. And from what I can tell...
He paused, giving her a soft but knowing look.
Tim- He was probably a great guy. The kind of person who would be proud of what you've done for your family.
Lucy swallowed hard, her throat tightening at Tim's words, but she didn't look away. She hadn't expected to hear that, and it hit her deeply.
Tim- I know he'd be proud of you, Lucy. Of the way you've kept going, even when it felt impossible. And he'd be proud of who Theo's become—because of you.
His voice was steady, but there was a tenderness in it that reached her. He wasn't just trying to make her feel better. He was telling her something he truly believed.
Tim- You've done right by them. And that's not easy.
Lucy felt her chest tighten, the tears threatening to spill again, but this time it wasn't just from the pain. It was from something else—something lighter. She hadn't allowed herself to think about it that way, to think that maybe, just maybe, she was doing enough. That Derek would be proud of her.
She blinked back the tears, her voice barely a whisper when she spoke.
Lucy- I just... I hope so.
Tim gave her a small, reassuring smile.
Tim- I know so.