LOST STARS

Chapter 23

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It wasn’t that Taehyung was ashamed of Jungkook’s appearance. He didn’t even know the meaning of that word in societal norms and terms.

It also wasn’t that he was trying to present a different picture to Yoongi than what they were. The house, the stuff they owned, everything was there for Yoongi to see and assess the truth anyway.

So what was it? Was he trying to impress Yoongi? Was he trying to make Jungkook leave an impression on Yoongi? Was it that he wanted Yoongi to look at Jungkook in a good light?

Maybe it was a mix of all of these and many many more layered reasons. But there was no denying the fact that all those reasons and sentences ended with “for Yoongi. However, in his preoccupation with everything, Taehyung failed to notice something.

Next to the door, there was a small window, for ventilation, and kind of served as a wooden curtain. Through that opening, Yoongi saw them. He was confused and endeared. Hurt and happy. Everything at the same time.

Taehyung had someone with him. He wasn’t alone anymore. It was something that made him happy and endeared.

But the other boy, much younger and much more beautiful than Yoongi himself, had Taehyung’s entire attention. He not only had his attention, but he also had Taehyung’s care and affection. This was confusing Yoongi because, somewhere deep down; there was a small feeling of hurt.

The way Taehyung was buttoning up the collar, the way his hands tucked the shirt inside the shorts, the familiarity between them spoke volumes. Yoongi felt that he shouldn’t watch. There was nothing more happening but it still looked like a private moment between Taehyung and that boy. So he just turned around and started looking at the skyline with the origami paper birds in the view.

A few moments later, Taehyung opened the door and gestured for Yoongi to come in. The spring in Yoongi’s step was gone now, in fact, he was partially dragging his feet into the room. And then it suddenly hit him—what was he walking into? He and Taehyung had been strangers for the better half of the past decade. Should he have even come here?

The spiral was out of control. It was more of an occupational hazard for Yoongi. He was continuously questioning moralities, whites, blacks, and greys. And to think exactly how much he both loved and hated discussing greys.

Yoongi was now inside the room or whatever that space was— a large area with different things acting as dividers or wooden curtains. Taehyung gestured for Yoongi to sit on what looked like a small iron trunk turned into a sitting space by covering it with a sort of bedsheet. Yoongi sat hesitantly on it, not sure if it would be able to take his weight or if it was balanced enough.

Yoongi reprimanded himself for always being overly cautious. For always weighing his pros and cons, his shoulds and should nots. Was that not the same way he let Taehyung slip through his fingers? Unfortunately, he had not been able to change that habit of his.

Taehyung stood in front of Yoongi, a little closer to the partition separating the room. Taehyung was looking towards his right and insisting for someone to come toward him. Yoongi knew it was the boy but he waited.

Jungkook walked out dragging his feet, to stand next to Taehyung. He stood really close to the elder one. Closer than he normally would. Jungkook wasn’t happy with the new stimuli or whatever was happening. Taehyung gestured to Jungkook to greet Yoongi. He was always respectful and that was one thing he had learned from watching Sunghoon.

Jungkook did a tiny bow, barely visible but he did. But he made no eye contact with Yoongi. It’s not that he was uncomfortable with Yoongi, but he just didn’t like it. He sucked on his bottom lip and started pulling the skin on his left collarbone. This habit was a forgotten one now, so even Taehyung was surprised to see it come back.

Taehyung’s immediate reaction was to pull Jungkook’s hand away. As Jungkook raised his hand towards his chest again, Taehyung locked their little fingers and changed his focus to look at Yoongi.

If Min Yoongi had a middle name, it would have been perceptive. He didn’t need to look at them twice to notice that what he was seeing was something special. As soon as Taehyung’s attention was on him, he gestured to ask, “Married?”

It was never a simple answer. It should not have been. But Taehyung made it the simplest.

He chuckled and shook his head in the negative while raising his hands to form a little heart shape in front of his chest. “Umm, No. Love,” he meant to say and Yoongi understood.

The look on Yoongi’s face was again a mix of a lot of emotions, the main being the difficulty in processing the word “love”. He could see what was in front of him. It didn’t take him long to figure out Jungkook. How was “love” possible? Marriage was a process, and that could have been understandable.  It was a destination, maybe. But love, love was a journey. He batted his eyes trying to fathom how these two very unique people embarked and stayed on this journey.

Did Jungkook know the meaning of love? Was Taehyung’s love language perceptible to Jungkook?

The next few hours passed in a blur for Yoongi as he saw Taehyung narrate stories about their life, and Jungkook followed him around while he did the chores like he always did, from his place right behind Taehyung.

It was time for Yoongi to leave for today, at least. Taehyung was going down to see Yoongi off to his car, but he returned from the door.

“Come with me.” He gestured to Jungkook, who immediately nodded in affirmation.

“Do you want to give this to him?” He further gestured and signed pointing towards one of the freshly made colourful origami swans. Jungkook picked it up from the window sill and walked behind Taehyung. As Yoongi waved a tiny goodbye to Jungkook Jungkook placed the bird on Yoongi’s palm.

Yoongi looked once again at Jungkook, head to toe, with endearment and awe. But Jungkook didn’t look at Yoongi at all. However, as soon as Yoongi turned and walked towards the end of the street where his car was parked, Jungkook looked up. He watched Yoongi’s steady gait, the poise with which he folded his left hand to carry his coat over it. Yoongi’s right hand was gracefully tucked in his trouser’s pocket.

Silk shirt tucked into beautiful brown trousers, not a single crease showing. His hair was not long but also not too short. They fell nicely over the collar and bounced as he walked. As Yoongi reached his car and opened the door, he looked back towards Taehyung and Jungkook. This time Jungkook didn’t look away from Yoongi, he held that gaze. With a beautiful gummy smile, the professor bid adieu.

Yoongi tried his best to not look back. He knew he should not. But he couldn’t help it, and looked through the rearview mirror. Taehyung caught that and leaned, a lot, to wave goodbye as the car rounded the turn and went out of his sight.

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