Entwined

Bound by obsession

Gregorie

I inhale deeply. The smell of paint, cigarettes, and sex—the three things I enjoy most.

I sit naked on the grand sofa in my living room, a bedsheet loosely covering my lower half, with a random blonde still asleep next to me. I hate waking up and finding them still here.

Reaching for my pants, I pull out a $500 bill and slap it onto her back, hard enough to wake her. Her eyes blink open, and she lazily sits up as the bill falls from her skin. She looks at me with a smeared mess of makeup and a wide smile. I almost puke. She was useful, but definitely not something I want to see in the morning.

Before she can say anything, I cut her off, my voice low and dark: "Get out." The smile vanishes instantly. She scrambles to pull on her tiny excuse for a dress, grabs her heels, and rushes out the door without another word.

I glance at the pillow where she slept. Her makeup ruined it. Disgusted, I pick it up and toss it out the window. A soft splash tells me it landed in the courtyard fountain.

God, I want more.
I want extremes. I want to take what's mine. Hold onto it. Keep it.
But somehow, I always lose the things I'm most attached to. Even Lorelei used to laugh at me about that. "Can't keep what's yours," she'd say.

I think of Dove. I cried when she left me, taking all the warmth with her.

I felt cold.
I remember sitting on the stairs, broken, waiting for her to come back. Crying like a child. I didn't even hear the familiar alert sound of Lorelei's heels clicking on the floor. But I smelled her perfume. Bloody Wood.
When I looked up, she was glaring at me. Pissed wasn't the word. She was furious.
"I didn't give birth to a pawn," she spat. Her voice was venom. "Have I taught you nothing?"

I didn't even know who she was talking about. I thought she didn't know about Dove and me.
"You had every chance to turn the tables, but you didn't," she added, sharper.
"She left me. I loved her," I sobbed.
"Of course she did. She got what she wanted and left. She was never yours—you were hers. And that's the weakest place to be."

"Who are you talking about?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.
"Dove," she said simply.
"You... knew?"
She scoffed. "Of course. Did you think I was blind?"

"Why did she leave like that?" I asked.
Lorelei's patience ran out. "I hate repeating myself," she snapped before walking away, leaving me crying, waiting outside Dove's apartment for days. But she never came back.
Eventually, I figured out why. Why she left me and who made it happen.

For years, I thought that Lorelei wanted to teach me a lesson. Pretty optimistic, don't you think?

Whenever you want the truth. Just be in the presence of a pretty drunk, angry Isabella. She told me that Dove and Lorelei knew each other but weren't acquaintances. My mom was a renowned artist and Dove owned some galleries. Lorelei knew that she was into minors and groomed many but I was her longest case. Isabella and her confronted Dove in a physical fight about me. Huh, well when Isabella was fighting her as a mother, protecting me from a molester, Lorelei only fought to keep her emotional punching bag. Well, my "mom" realized that Dove wanted me all for herself and she was taking me away so she took her out of the picture with enough evidence to have her flee the country.

In the end, I was the loser. I always am.
But not anymore. Now, I refuse to lose what's mine.

Standing up, I walk to my studio, all naked because who cares, at least they have a nice view for once.

I glace around at the endless canvases of her. My muse. Mine.

I sit down at my chair, staring at the empty easel. I haven't painted since she left. She didn't keep her word. All because of him.
My eyes snap to the fucking damned canvas, I hanged on the wall. He tarnished my art even though he wasn't here.