let me stay? <||satosugu||>

chapter one

fix it fic because i refuse to accept kfc breakup
warning guys you might get violent traumatic flashbacks to hidden inventory

"are you satoru gojo because you're the strongest?"

no.

his head spun, and he could feel the way his face scrunched up in pain.

"or are you the strongest because you're satoru gojo?"

no.

he stared at him, his head raised slightly, as if he was looking down on him.

"if we were to switch places, my visions would become much more realistic," his words blurred together.

the people blurred. everything blurred. he should kill him? he should let him go?

"goodbye, satoru."

what?

no. he- he- he couldn't let him, it wasn't possible. it was always them, just satoru and suguru, doing missions and fucking around. it was always them. it always had to be them.

suguru turned away, his unkept hair bristling in the light.

he opened his mouth. he raised his hands to use his technique. it was on the tip of his tongue, he could just kill him. but he didn't.

"suguru!"

he let his hands drop.

"suguru, suguru, wait!"

the words ripped from his throat, and he pushed though the people, his head buzzing at the feeling of it. his head hurt. his face felt raw. was he crying?

"suguru!" he reached out for his shoulder, and he had turned to him now. "suguru, suguru wait, wait, wait, please," he gasped out, his hand finding the fabric of his shirt.

he stood there for a moment, his hand balled in his shirt. and god, he just stared at him with that look, it wasn't happy, it wasn't sad, it wasn't anything but expectant.

he released his hold, his hand moving down. "suguru," he gasped out, his head cocking to a side to attempt to catch his breath.

"satoru."

his name was a punch to the gut. he didn't say it like all the other times he had, not when they were together in suguru's room, high off their minds because they stole shokos weed. not when they were both worn down and broken about all the shit they had seen. not when they were laughing on the beach and happy.

he said it like he was waiting.

he was waiting for an answer.

"let-" he started. no. not the right word. the buzz of people in the background was loud loud, so loud. "can- am, am i allowed?"

suguru blinked at him. god- all satoru could focus on was how tired he looked. why hadn't he said anything? "what?"

his mind was a jumble of overwhelming feelings and thoughts, he couldn't think straight. he wasn't thinking straight.

"can i come?"

he asked, his voice unwavering.

he stared at him hopefully. a truck passed by, his hair flew around his face, but he didn't dare move. "satoru," his voice was soft.

no,

oh god, oh god no. that was the voice suguru used when a girl pulled him aside to confess and he rejected, that was the voice he used when he had to see him at the church with that look in his eye, that was the voice he had to use when he had to leave for a long mission.