Within the embrace, Melinda felt that she was losing herself, her heart pierced by beauty and sorrow at the same time. She held Malcolm tight in her arms as if he could disappear any minute, not quite sure if he was real or not, but their love was real, and she relished every second of it, laced with corruption as it was. She loved him so much, it was beyond words.
His almond eyes gleamed with repressed passion as he looked at her, reminding her of his gentle soul, and she stared at him with the utmost mirth, not daring to flinch, to ruin this wonderful moment in any capacity. She was still weeping, but all her woes turned to joy in his arms, her spirit resplendent with happiness infinite. All this moment was missing was speech.
"My love," she whispered softly, her breath gently warming his shoulder. "Please talk to me."
He opened his mouth to speak and closed it immediately afterwards, not quite sure of what he wanted to say. In these dark woods, he felt much more at guard than anywhere else, even the palace, which was populated by many people. It was as if the wrathful branches were watching him constantly, judging his every deed and thought, boring right into his very soul.
It was the same song and dance he had to hide all the time, even from himself. Blood racing towards his heart, his embrace was full of sin, and it drove him towards a vow of silence, yet another vow he was bound to. He was committed to so many vows, he often wished that they weren't there, the fervour within him daring him to make the jump, but nothing could ever change, and he knew that very well.
"My love," she spoke again, this time with a hint of sadness in her voice upon witnessing the madness in his eyes. "Are you afraid of me?"
He released a heavy sigh. "No, my dear, of course not. I'm afraid of myself."
"But why?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm afraid of my own thoughts, filled with sin," he said darkly. "I'm afraid of my own shadow. I'm afraid when I look into the mirror and fail to recognise myself yet again."
"You're becoming too much like me," she said, shaking her head. "I think you need to stay away from me."
"I cannot!" he cried desperately. "I cannot live without you! You're the light of my life, the woman of my dreams, the answer to all my prayers. And yet... You are my darkness as well. Without you, I never would have..."
"What?" she asked him, but he was lost in thought again.
I have lost so much... he thought, remembering a better time that now seemed to forever be out of reach. The years of my youth, my faith in the justice system, the ability to keep a vow like every other normal person. And it all would have been perfect without her. I would have resisted the evil influence of my parents just fine.
She's the bane of my existence, the gardener of my corruption. I was supposed to fight for the oppressed, and now... What do I dream of? Of her 'dominating' me in bed? Of her 'conquering' and 'colonizing' me and 'stamping a boot on my face'?
Does that not mock the oppressed, those who yearn for a better tomorrow that might never come, living in a dog-eat-dog world, scraping by whatever they can get, fighting for freedom with what little they have? But wait... She's not responsible for my perversions. I am the one who made myself worse than all those aristocrats I have criticized. I have done nothing for the revolution. Still, I cannot help but resent her.
"Malcolm..." she said fearfully upon noticing the look in his eyes, waking him up from his thoughts. "Are you okay? Do you need help?"
"Don't put me into an insane asylum!" he screamed, shaking with terror, causing her to embrace him even more tightly.
YOU ARE READING
Divine Ascension (Wattys 2024)
FantasíaEver since she was young, Melinda Grey knew she had a great destiny waiting for her. As a magical prodigy the likes of which the grand country of Obscuria had rarely seen, she had spent years and years training among those like her to preserve its g...
