Wounds Of The Hearts, Justice Of The Mind

Prologue

The hospital was wrecked right now. I am so fucking drained and I don't have enough rest for the last fourty-eight hours because of this bullshit happens. Some of the patient almost attacked me without considering what I am feeling right now. One of our patient died due to a malpractice of profession.

"Doc, hindi ko sinasadya..." Si Dr. Meneses na puno pa ng dugo ang kaniyang lab gown. "Buong akala ko maayos ang pagkakatahi sa sugat ng pasyente." Paliwanag niya na inangatan ko.

I didn't give him any emotion. Matalim at malamig lang ang tingin ko.

"Doktor ka ba talaga? Tangina!" I burst out the anger inside my chest. Hindi ko na mapigilan pa iyon at bigla na lang akong sumabog sa galit. "Alam mo ba kung ano ang ginawa mo, Kelvin? That patient... He's a daughter of a fucking President! Nag-iisang anak nila 'yon..." halos hindi ko na makilala ang boses ko.

Umiiyak siya sa harapan ko at patuloy pa rin sa paghingi ng tawad at pag-explain sa nangyari.

"I thought you are a competitive Doctor... That you choose this profession because you excel on it," malamig na sabi ko at naikuyom ko ang aking kamao. "But I was wrong... You know what will be the consequences of your malpractice?" I asked him, paos ang boses ko. "It's either isasarado ang hospital na 'to... Makukulong pa ako dahil sa nangyari."

"Hindi ko talaga sinasadya, Doc..." Iyak na sambit niya. "Noong tinahi ko naman po kasi ay ayos na..."

I crumpled my fist even more. "Hindi mo man lang ako tinawag?! You did the operation without even informing me! The patient is in critical condition, Meneses! I am the neurosurgeon, it means that I am your fucking superior!"

Nanginginig siya. Tangina. Ano ang gagawin ko? This hospital... I built this on my own. Lahat ng pinaghirapan ko, ayaw kong mawala sa isang iglap... Sa isang pagkakamali.

Umalis ako doon at hindi na muli siyang hinarap. I walked out in my own office and after getting the hallways of the hospital, one of the bereaved family of the deceased attacked me and I wasn't be able to avoid it. He throw a punch on me which I didn't expect him to do that. Ramdam ko ang pagdurog ng aking buto sa panga sa lakas ng suntok niya.

"You killed my only niece!" Sigaw nito sa akin habang kinukwelyuhan ako. "Ano'ng klaseng Doktor ka?! Akala ko ba magaling ka?!" Tumulo ang luha niya habang sinasabi iyon. "Ikaw pa naman ang pinakamagaling na Neurosurgeon sa buong Pilipinas... Kilala ang pangalan mo sa larangan ng medisina at maging sa ibang bansa..."

Wala akong magawa, hindi ko siya mapatulan. Pagod na pagod ako... Idagdag pa na wala na akong itinulog. At least, I should pay sympathy with them. I was being careless and I am negligent to what had happened.

Magaling akong Doktor. Propesyunal ako. Maraming nagsasabi na isa akong henyo sa larangan ng medisina dahil marami na akong nailigtas na buhay. Ngunit parang naging isang walang halaga 'yon sa isang iglap, dahil kahit ang henyo ay walang magagawa kapag ang tadhana na ang kumilos. At ang mas ikinakatakot ko ngayong harapin... The dissapointment of my own parents. They had high expectations from me so I set aside the pressure I felt because I want to excel more, to make them happy and prove that what they think of me is wrong...that I am not a fucking disappointment!

"I'm sorry, Sir..." That's all I said while looking down. "It was on my part. I am negligent to what had happen to your niece," nanghihinang usal ko na halos matumba noong binitiwan niya ako.

Inayos ko ang aking coat at muling humingi ng tawad dahil iyon na lang ang kaya kong gawin sa ngayon. Hinawakan ko ang panga kong sinuntok niya at ramdam ko ang sakit. I asked myself again, doubting my ability to heal.

Am I useless now? I wonder what people think of me...The best Neurosurgeon in town is a disappointment, a useless Doctor who wasn't able to cure his patient.

I ain't saint, I ain't angel... I can heal but I can't cure.

Sa araw na 'yon, wala akong naging gana. Umiiyak pa din ang pamilya ng biktima. Kinausap na din ako ng Presidente tungkol sa nangyari at tinatanggap ko kung ano ang magiging hatol niya. Kung ano ang magiging consequences ng pagbabaya ko. If he would file a suit against me, I would probably face it. I should file my defense but even if I do that, it will result to negligence on my part.

"Doc, nandito po ang magiging lawyer niyo for the case..." sabi ng secretary ko.

Inangat ko ang aking ulo para tignan ang abogadong sinasabi niya. A man entered my office wearing his formal attire, brushing his hair upwards with his other hand holding a brief case. He looks so masculine and I was intimidated by his looks. His demeanor, looks competitive and compassionate.

"Atty. Gavril Vesper Serrano, I was tasked to defend your side." He introduced himself coldly. "I want to know the details and I want you to cooperate with me. By the way, the suit you are facing right now is serious. Malpractice and negligence. What kind of Doctor do you have in this hospital?"

I furrowed my brows. I felt insulted with what he had said. I want to defend myself but upon seeing how intimidating he was, I couldn't help but to shut my mouth. He has everything, the profession which I was envisioned myself to be but I choose this profession due to my parents.

My fist crumpled again. I sighed heavily and then raise my head to look at him with determination. Ayaw kong magpatalo at lalong hindi ko hahayaan na insultuhin ng isang abogado ang sarili ko.

"I felt insulted, Atty. Serrano. My bad..." I playfully uttered. "Don't worry, I'll cooperate with you and I know the case filed against me were serious... I am not afraid for the consequences of the malpractice of one of my Doctors..." My voice sounds challenging him. "You're a good lawyer... Sayang..."

"Sayang ang alin?" He raised a brow at me.

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

"That's my dream. To be a good lawyer..." I pictured out myself once again in his position. "I should be a Lawyer at practice not a Doctor who heals. I was bound to defend not for medicine."