Far Yet Forever

Chapter 13

"Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is letting go of the past and embracing the uncertainty of the future."

As I walked back to my dorm, the weight of the day pressed heavily on my shoulders. The laughter and warmth I had shared with Arjun faded into an uncomfortable silence. The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a rush of guilt and anger toward myself.

How could I let my emotions slide so easily? I had just spent the afternoon with my ex, laughing and reminiscing about the past while Aarin was waiting for my messages. I sank onto my bed, burying my face in my hands. It felt shameful to have enjoyed Arjun’s company when I knew how much Aarin had opened up to me.

I stared at the walls, feeling trapped in my thoughts. I had finally started to build something special with Aarin, someone who understood my struggles and supported me. Yet, here I was, letting the past creep back in, making me question everything I felt.

A mix of confusion and anger swirled within me. Why did I even agree to meet Arjun? I had worked hard to move on from that part of my life, and yet it all felt so familiar and comfortable. I hated that I could easily slip back into those feelings as if nothing had ever changed.

I stood up and paced around the room, trying to clear my head. Each step felt heavier than the last, like I was dragging the weight of my decisions with me. Was it too late to choose a different path? Was I just going to keep going back and forth between the past and the present?

The uncertainty gnawed at me, and I plopped back onto the bed, feeling utterly lost. I wished I could talk to Aarin about it, but how could I explain this turmoil without hurting him? The guilt lingered, and I knew I had to figure out where my heart truly belonged before it was too late.

---

I took a deep breath and decided to text Maya, hoping to find some clarity in the chaos swirling in my mind. Instead of a text, I recorded a long voice message.

“Hey, Maya, it’s me. I need to tell you everything that’s been going on,” I started, my voice trembling slightly. “So, Aarin... he confessed his feelings for me. Can you believe it? But then I met up with Arjun today. We talked and laughed, and I don’t know, it felt nice to be around him again.”

Maya’s response was immediate. “What?! Aarisha, you just said Aarin confessed! What are you doing going back to your ex?”

I could almost hear her scolding tone through the message. “I know, I know! I shouldn’t have, but it just happened. I’m so confused, Maya. I like Aarin, but I don’t think I fully developed feelings for him yet. And then being with Arjun felt... easy, familiar. I didn’t want to think about the hurt he caused me, but it all came rushing back.”

There was a pause before Maya replied, her voice softer now. “I get it. But you need to be careful. You’ve worked hard to move on, and I just don’t want to see you get hurt again. Are you sure you don’t want to give Aarin a real chance?”

“I’m not sure about anything,” I admitted, feeling the weight of my confusion press down on me. “I enjoy talking to Aarin, but I don’t want to hurt him by going back and forth. I’m just scared of messing everything up.”

Maya sighed, her concern evident. “Just take your time, okay? You don’t have to rush into anything. Just be honest with yourself and with Aarin. Figure out what you really want.”

Her words resonated with me. I realized I needed to sort through my feelings, but for now, all I could do was sit with the uncertainty. As I ended the call, I felt a little lighter but also weighed down by the reality of my choices.