Far Yet Forever

Chapter 16

"In letting go, I found clarity in my feelings. But with that clarity came an ache, a realization that love sometimes means stepping back, even when it hurts the most."

Hearing Aarisha laugh on the phone felt like a ray of sunshine breaking through clouds. I couldn't help but smile, feeling warm inside. "So, how's my voice? Like a monkey?" I joked, wanting to keep the mood light. I loved making her laugh; it was one of the reasons I was drawn to her. Her laughter was contagious, and for a moment, everything felt perfect.

But then I noticed a change in her tone. My heart raced as I listened to her. She was opening up, sharing her thoughts and feelings, and I could sense the weight of her emotions through the phone. It was both beautiful and scary.

As she talked about Arjun, my heart sank. I listened to her recount their conversation, and I could hear the uncertainty in her voice. I wanted to reach through the phone and hold her, to tell her everything would be alright, but I felt helpless.

When she finally confessed her feelings, my heart dropped. Hearing her voice crack while she cried made me feel sick. It hurt to know I was part of the confusion that was making her sad. All I could do was listen.

"I like you, Aarin," she said, her voice shaky. "But I didn't fully develop feelings... I'm just so confused." Each word felt heavy, and I wanted to scream that she deserved better than this pain. But I stayed quiet, letting her speak.

Regret washed over me like a wave. I had hurt her by being unsure, allowing this confusion to grow between us. My heart ached for her and the pain I had caused. How could I let it get this far? I had just wanted to share a laugh and connect, but now I felt like I was pushing her deeper into confusion.

As she cried, my chest tightened. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had failed her. I had promised to be someone she could trust, but instead, I had become a source of confusion and hurt. I felt like I was losing her before I had even really found her.

The weight of my mistakes pressed down on me as I listened to her cries. I wished I could turn back time and take back every moment that led to this. But all I could do was be there for her now, even if it felt like I was losing the one thing I wanted most.

Before I could gather my thoughts and say something comforting, I heard a soft beep. She had cut the call. My heart sank even lower, and I stared at my phone in disbelief. It felt as if the ground had shifted beneath me, leaving me in an empty void. A wave of regret washed over me, heavy and suffocating.

I should have spoken up. I should have found the right words to ease her pain, to tell her that it was okay to feel confused, that she wasn't alone in this. Instead, I felt paralyzed by my own emotions, letting the moment slip away. Now, I was left with nothing but silence and a crushing weight in my chest.

I thought about how she had opened up to me, her voice trembling with vulnerability. She had shared her feelings, her struggles, and all I could think about was how I might have hurt her by bringing confusion into her life. I had wanted to make her laugh, to lift her spirits, but now I felt like I had only made things worse.

I paced the room, frustration and sadness battling within me. How could I let this happen? I had seen her smile, heard her laugh, and for a brief moment, everything felt right. But then came the truth-the tears, the doubts, the realization that she was still tangled in her past with Arjun.

I realized I had missed my chance to reassure her, to let her know that I was here for her, ready to support her through this turmoil. The thought made my heart ache even more. What if I had hurt her in a way that I couldn't take back? What if my feelings for her had made things even more complicated?

With each passing second, the silence grew heavier, echoing the unspoken words I wished I had said. I felt utterly lost, wishing I could rewind time and have another shot at that conversation.

As I paced back and forth, my thoughts spiraled, each one heavier than the last. I realized I couldn't keep living in this uncertainty, especially when it came to Aarisha. She was so open with me, and here I was, complicating things further. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the decision I had to make.

I grabbed my phone, my hands shaking slightly as I opened our chat. Words flooded my mind, a rush of emotions that I knew I had to put into a message. I began typing, my heart pounding in my chest.

Aarisha,

I need to start by saying I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for stepping into your life at such a confusing time. I never wanted to make things harder for you, especially when you're feeling so vulnerable. You deserve clarity and peace, not chaos and confusion.

I've been thinking a lot about everything we've shared, and it hurts me to think that my feelings for you might have added to your struggles. So, I've made a decision. I don't want to be the reason for your tears or your uncertainty. I don't want to disturb you anymore.

This is goodbye, but it's not the end. I want you to know that I will always be here for you, cheering you on from the sidelines. My feelings for you are real, Aarisha. They are genuine and deep, even if they got mixed up in this whirlwind of emotions.

You've brought so much light into my life, and I can't just walk away without saying that. My chatroom will always be open for you; you are always welcome. Whenever you need someone to talk to, I'll be just a message away.

As I say goodbye, I want to leave you with this: I think I love you, Aarisha.

I read the words over and over, my heart heavy with the weight of what I had just put down. The reality of my feelings crashed over me like a wave, and suddenly, I felt like I was drowning in them. I had been confused, caught in a storm of emotions, but now I was clear. I loved her.

With a deep breath, I pressed send. The screen lit up momentarily, illuminating the dark room, before I turned away. I felt tears prick at my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I was a man, after all. I could handle this, even if it hurt.

But inside, I felt shattered. I sat down on the edge of my bed, my heart aching with the reality of my decision. I had let her go, and it felt like a part of me had gone with her. I buried my face in my hands, fighting back the tears, feeling a mix of relief and heartache. I would always care for her, and now it was time to let her find her own path, even if it meant walking away from mine.