Mr. coldie

chapter 16

Tae opened the diary and glanced at Kook. "I know it's wrong, Kookie, but I need to understand you," he said softly before turning to the first page.

As Tae read, his heart clenched. The pain Kook had endured, the cruelty from their step-sister and mother-it was all there, etched on the pages with traces of dried tears. He could almost see how much Kook had cried while writing it. Each page recounted a punishment Kook had suffered, none of which he deserved.

Tae's eyes welled up as he continued reading, haunted by the words Kook had written. Though the punishments and wounds varied, one phrase repeated over and over: I want to die.

As Tae read on, one page in particular gripped his heart so tightly, he could hardly breathe. He couldn't even fathom how Kook had survived all of this.

Dear Diary,

Do you want to hear about today's punishments? Nothing special-just five burn marks, ten slaps, and a few extra curses.

But those didn't hurt as much as the question that keeps eating at me: Why? Why am I going through this? What did I do wrong to deserve this? Was it just because I was born? I never asked for this.

Why did you leave me with them, Mom? Why didn't you take me with you? I wouldn't have been mad if you had. But you left me in this hell, where I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm their maid, their punching bag, their stress ball.

Is this what you wanted? Your husband never treated me like his son. I don't even think he remembers he has a son.

I always wished for a family where I could feel safe, where I could just be myself without fear. Is that too much to ask for?

I know I don't deserve to be happy, and no one will ever love me with all these scars. I'm not even wishing for that anymore because I don't want to drag anyone down with me.

I'm cursed, and I don't want my bad luck to infect anyone else. But even after all this, I'm a little happy, because I have Jin hyung and Yoongi hyung.

Without them, I don't know if I would've made it this far. I love them. That's all for today, buddy.

Your friend
Kookie.

Tae looked at Kook, who was sleeping peacefully with a slight pout. He didn't even realize he was crying until he felt the tears streaming down his cheeks.

But Tae couldn't stop. He read every page, knowing the diary didn't capture all of Kook's suffering, but it held more than enough pain. Tae could only imagine how many diaries Kook had filled, reliving those traumas over and over again. All Tae wanted was for Kook to fill a diary with happiness and smiles.

He paused midway when he read about the marriage arrangement and how Kook had described himself as a slave. Tae hated that Kook saw himself that way, referring to shelter and food like they were rewards. But as he read on, he was relieved to see that the diary began to reflect a bit of Kook's happiness.

Kook had written about the time he spent with Tae-the way he loved playing with him, spending time together, and sleeping on Tae's chest. He even wrote about sulking, everything that made Tae's heart race. Tae didn't know why, but those moments flashed vividly before him, and he found himself wanting them to last forever. He wanted to see Kook smile every day and be with him always.

(A/N: Maybe those are responsibilities 😏😏😏)

Tae closed the diary and gently placed it back on the nightstand. He lay down beside Kook and pulled him close, letting Kook rest his head on Tae's chest like before.