Ellie DeWitt Bukater: Part II

Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Ellie

Days had turned into weeks and weeks had crept into months. We were approaching fall and it felt as if not much had changed since we first arrived in the city. Tommy spent his days job searching, basically from the early morning hours to the evening. We did not see each other much at all, by the time he was getting home I was on my way to bed. Sundays were our only days we could spend time together, when most of the factories were closed, but anytime alone was impossible. There had been a few job opportunities here and there, but they never panned out. Many others were in the same position as he was, and it was hard on him. Him being Irish certainly didn't help his case either. I tried to talk him into taking John's offer multiple times, but he was extremely stubborn. He was determined to make it on his own without any help from anyone. I couldn't talk him out of it.

My days were occupied with Lizzie and James. With me being around, Sarah had more opportunities to fill in substitute positions at the local schools on a part time basis. She was very involved with summer school, and had been quite busy with the new school year starting. I was more than happy to help, and I honestly adored watching the children when Sarah was out. My heart was always fond of the idea of having children, and spending so much time with them confirmed my feelings indefinitely. Sarah and I had actually grown pretty close. On the days she wasn't teaching children, she was teaching me how to do the simple tasks I was never shown growing up- cooking, laundry, you name it. There were always maids to do that around the home, and I was closed off from all of it. I felt so embarrassed coming to this realization, but Sarah put me at ease.

However, I knew I could change our situation in a heartbeat with the Heart of the Ocean hidden under my mattress. I couldn't bare myself to look at it. Not only did it remind me of my past, but what was I to do with it anyway? I couldn't sell it because of Cal. He must have known Rose had it, he would come sniffing around the moment it would go up for sale. So I just let it sit there, hidden from the world. Even just having it in my procession made me feel as if I was putting my sister's life at risk, maybe even my own. I had no idea what Cal could be capable of. I was so fearful to the point I still couldn't tell Tommy about it. I was sure he would understand why I wouldn't want to sell it or anything, he was so adamant anyway about doing everything on his own anyway. But having something like that could change your life in an instant and maybe if he saw it...it would change his perspective on things. I didn't want to cross that bridge. Deep down, I was angry with Rose for handing this burden off to me.

I still didn't know where she was or how she was doing. I thought at this point I would hear from her, but so far there was nothing.

With so much going on, it was quite nice to have an Saturday evening to myself with John, Sarah and the kids out at John's parents for dinner. It was rare having the place to myself. I left the windows open as I finished the dishes from breakfast and lunch that day, letting the early September breeze flow through. Besides the sounds of New York, it was peaceful. It was almost jarring, as I had grown so accustomed to the sounds of scampering little feet, toddler cries and giggles. Once I wrapped up the kitchen, I wasn't too sure of what to do with myself.

Pondering, I paced through the living room, eyeing up the piano, which I had been slowly introducing to Lizzie and James. Lizzie enjoyed learning simple chords and melodies, while James preferred to slam the keys. I took a seat at the bench and paged through the basket of sheet music left beside it on the floor. Sarah and John had a pretty extensive selection of music I could choose from. I pulled out a copy of Alexander's Ragtime Band and started playing away. After getting it down after a few tries, I even decided to sing vocals since I was completely alone. It was a pretty jaunty tune.

Playing piano always made me think of my father. It would always bring me back to those childhood moments of me playing with him beside me. I missed those moments dearly. I thought about my father a lot, and I hoped he was proud of me for being on my own. For the first time in my life, I felt as if I was finally beginning to figure myself out. It meant something to be able to do things on my own.