Ellie DeWitt Bukater: Part II

Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Tommy

"I told you now that you live here you could see the Statue of Liberty whenever you wanted."

El was beaming, looking quite proud of herself for bringing me along on this spur of the moment ferry trip to pay a visit to Lady Liberty. This time, seeing her was closer than I ever could have imagined. Bursts of red and orange were beginning to emerge in the sky and touch the Hudson as the sun set behind her, leaving her to be swallowed by shadows to turn into a dark and powerful silhouette. This view felt like art.

"El, this is amazing. I didn't know you could do this."

"Well there's a lot visitors that come here, of course you can!" A gust of wind passed through and she shivered as it blew through her dark curls, forcing her to burrow deeper into the thin, black jacket she was wearing, "Although it was a lot warmer before we left."

"It'll be fine when we're off the water," I looked out to see a long ferry boat passing through. It was hard to tell from the distance, but you could make out maybe hundreds of people out on the deck.

"Wow, look at all the people on that boat," El noticed too as she leaned against me, fighting the wind. I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind her, pulling her up against my chest.

"A whole damn bunch of immigrants," I scoffed sarcastically, "How dare they come here looking for a better life."

"Oh well you wouldn't know what that's like."

"Of course not, I was born and raised here!" I said in my very butchered attempt of an American accent.

She snickered, nudging me with her shoulder.

"Nice try."

"They don't even know what's comin'," I shook my head, "Turn back now, it's a trap! The American dream is a lie!" I yelled out to them, making a few heads near us turn in annoyance.

"Hush! They can't even hear you!" El scolded playfully, holding back laughter, "I know you don't mean that anyway."

"I think I do."

She turned towards me, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"That's why I brought you here," she turned away, pointing to the colossal statue, "First time you laid your eyes on that, what did you feel?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, "Overwhelmed. Exhilarated. It was a lot to take in."

"You dragged me out in the pouring rain to see her the second we got to New York," she chuckled, "And your eyes were the brightest I've ever seen them. You were so hopeful."

"Well I didn't know what I was in for then."

"What is it you're looking for here? You have all this talk about the American dream, what does that mean to you?" El shifted, facing me directly.

This was a loaded question and honestly, not something I thought hard about. I knew I wanted to be here, but I guess I never thought about what it all meant.

"I just know I want the opposite of what I had back home."

"Talk to me about that. I want to understand," her green eyes seemed to be pleading with me. I sighed.

"For my whole life, all I know is my family struggling. My father has done everything to maintain the small farmstead we have, which was his father's. He's always worked so hard for so little. It was almost nothing when the famine hit before my father was born."

"I can't imagine."

"Growin' up there were days we went without eating during the really rough patches. Even when things were alright, ma would skip meals to make sure we were fed."

"My god."

"It is what it is. The economy is shit. Everyone is leavin'," I brushed off those memories quickly, "My father is withering away to nothing at this point. All that hard work his whole life, for what? To send me here while my brothers continue to support the family out there," I paused for a moment to take a breath, surprised I was letting all this out, "I've felt so worthless since I've been here, El."

"Don't you ever say that," she took my hand tightly, "Your father sent you here for a reason."

"He sent me cause I'm the oldest."

"No. I believe he sent you because he knows you are capable of great things."

"I want to be. I just want the chance to prove that I can be something here. I don't know what that is yet, but I just want to show he didn't waste his time sending me here."

"He didn't," she shook her head, "You're just getting your groundings here."

"I don't know what it is I want to do. I just want to make him and my whole family proud," I admitted, looking down at her, "I want to make you proud."

"You already do. You were brave enough to come here."

"Ireland was easy enough to leave," I chuckled, "I don't know. I guess I just don't know what direction to go in. I've really wanted to do this on my own, show that I can make something out of myself from the ground up."

"I think the best direction you can take is that offer from your uncle, Tommy," El was serious, "He only wants the best for you."

"I know that. But if I take it, I'm givin' up."

"It's not giving up," she sighed, "The stubbornness in you is astounding. It's your family, Tommy. This is what family does. They help each other. And I would say you have earned every ounce of help you can get," she then held onto me tightly, not caring about the display of affection around others, "Taking this chance does not make you any less of a hard worker. You say all you know is struggling. I think you've struggled enough."

Her words touched me greatly. I had never felt like the world owed me anything. I was taught you had to work for what you wanted, nothing would ever be handed to you. From the moment I stepped on American soil, I was determined to earn a life greater than the one I knew. I wanted the nice house, my future family to never know what it felt like to go hungry. A provider was all I wanted to be. It was comforting to have someone tell me taking an opportunity like this didn't make me any less of a man, like I believed it would. As I held her in my arms, running my hands through her hair, I felt a great load of pressure off my shoulders.

"Alright. I'll do it," I mumbled. She looked up at me, her eyes bright, "Just give me one more day to try to do this on my own. If I don't find anything on Monday, I'll tell John I'm interested."

"You mean that?"

"I do."

She smiled widely, getting on her toes to kiss me. "You're making the right choice."

"I know I have nothing to offer you," I began, "but I promise you I will try my damnedest to give you a life you deserve."

"I know that."

"I'm sorry for the way I've been about all of this. I know you've been trying to talk me into this for months."

"I understand it's hard for you to accept help," she said, "But it's about time you stop feeling guilty about it."

"I know. It's something I should work on. I mean, it's not like someone is handing me a million dollars for doing nothing."

"Right," El chuckled awkwardly, a flash of guilt on her face. I suddenly felt like an ass, forgetting almost for a moment the life she came from. I didn't mean to make her feel bad for coming from riches. She had no control over that. "Tommy, there's something I should tell you."

"What's that?"

"Just..." her voice trailed off, as she looked into my eyes. "I'm proud of you. I know this is hard for you to do, but it's the best option. I love you, so much."

"I love you too."

"And I promise you," she buried her face into my chest, "Not one penny would make me feel happier than I already do being with you."