A viking funeral

Tradition

My face and clothes were wet from crying. I had not stopped crying since they brought me to the tent. I was not allowed to go. I was not allowed to be visited. My only company was mead and my thoughts…and our memories…
Then suddenly your wife came in. The moment she laid eyes on me she started crying silently. She approached me and hugged me. Why was she here? HOW was she here?
- Why are you here?
- I came to get you out.
- You cannot.
- I have a plan.
- I will not leave…
She stayed there frozen.
- You are drunk when you sober up you will…
- I will not leave.
I said again. Suddenly her soft expression hardens and a slap meets my face.
- I WILL NOT let you disobey my husband’s last wish!
I remained silent and turned my head.
- YOU WILL COME WITH ME!
I stay still like frozen in time. There was nothing she could do about it and even if she tried, I had made up my mind. There was nothing for me here. If it wasn’t now it would be from my own hand a month from now. 
- How did they allow you in here?
She seemed confused.
- It has been ten days did you not know?
I guessed I was drinking so much that I completely lost touch with time.
- So I will be free soon…
- She struck me again. The hit was so powerful it made me lose my balance.
- YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING YOU DENSE THRALL! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH TO GET THERE!  DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY THEY LET ME COME IN HERE? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE PREPARING FOR YOU? LET ME SHOW YOU!
With the strength of a bear she ripped through my clothes and while crying and cursing me started abusing my flesh in every way she could think of. I could do nothing but cry and try to fight her off but I was malnourished, drunk, and no match for her fury.  It was only then when it became apparent to me why my glass was never empty.  Suddenly and with no warning she stopped. I crawled into a ball and hid my face from the world. I had been taken from you by force. The same way you took me away fittingly enough. I felt impure, violated, weak.  How was I to face you now?
- What have you done?
I cried out.
she let her body fall to her knees. She hid her face in the palms of her hands and cried.
- Why did you refuse to do what he told you? He loved you! He was trying to protect you! Why do you have to be so stupid?
- I DID NOTHING WRONG!
She approached me and forced me into her arms. I did not want to be there.
- We loved you, you stupid man! He loved you even more than he ever loved me even. And I…well, I was happy you made him happy.
He told me it was different with you two…
I could have never given him what you did. I never hated either of you for that. In a way I was relieved.
- Why would you hurt me? Why would you sodomize me now just before meeting him?
Her tears started flowing once again.
- This is what he was trying to protect you from. I had to…
- Nobody has to harm anybody.
- You hear but you don’t listen… this was not what he wanted for you.
She swiftly got up and left the tent, without even a glance in my direction. Almost instantly the two women guarding me this whole time came in. They washed me and dressed me in expensive clothes and jewelry.   They gave me more mead to drink and then got me out of the tent. In front of me in the distance, I saw a small ship pulled out of the water. Around it, there were a few yurts set up, not unlike the one I was In just moments before. The ship was propped up with wooden logs and on top of it, I could see a small tent where I knew my master was located. On the base of the ship, firewood and slaughtered animals as well as food and other offerings were combined into a small pile.
It was time.
To my surprise instead of walking me to the ship, we started going towards the yurts.  When we reached the closest one, the angels of death brought me inside, and there a few warriors in the tent grabbed me and started one by one, just like your wife before them, have their way with me. It was these you were trying to protect me from, and it was this she tried to explain. The thralls were never fully informed of what the funerals included and how the sacrificial thrall was to be treated. I now came to realize that it was that way by design, so other thralls don’t get scared and do not wish to be killed with their masters.
When the men were done the angels of death took me to the next yurt. And then the next. And the next. In each tend they gave me to drink which I thankfully received in an attempt to numb my body from the horrors of the abuse and the much more to come. By the time we got to the last tent, I could barely walk on my own. My body was bruised and sore and my mind was trying to fight the alcohol to no avail. When finally, the last of the attendants took his turn with me he turned to me and said: “tell your master I did this cause of your love for him”
I wanted to kill him. I would have. I should have. But my mind was slow and my body weak. I tried! Lord knows I tried but I couldn’t even walk on my own anymore. My flesh failed time after time to obey my orders until the angels of death came in and helped me out of the tent. There a crowd had been gathered next to the ship.  The crowd picked me up and threw me into the sky. High, so high that I felt like I was flying.
- I see my family that you killed.
I mumbled in my stupor.
Nobody could listen or nobody cared for my words.
They threw me again high, higher than before.
- I see my master in the heavens.
Then they threw me high a third time and then I said.
- I see the hells, wide open like hungry mouths and they hunger for you all.
They let me drop unevenly causing me to land on the ground instead of their arms. 
A third woman dressed in black came up to me and helped me up. With six more men they got me on the ship and in the tent where the body of my master was located.
I dropped and crawled on all fours to his arms, hugged his cold lifeless flesh, and cried once more.
They did not let me mourn you at that moment.
They forcibly removed me from your body and started removing my clothes. I started screaming.
- PLEASE NOT IN FRONT OF HIM I BEG OF YOU!
My pleas fell on deaf ears. From outside the warriors attending started banging their shields with their weapons trying to drown out my screams.
When the men were done with me, they threw me like a sack of potatoes next to your corpse. I crawled to you one last time and rested my head on your shoulder seeking comfort if only for a moment.
They once again did not let me. I was not allowed to follow you on my own terms.
Two of the men grabbed two sides of a rope and wrapped it around my neck. I wanted to cry but I was finally all out of tears.
I was scared.
I felt them pulling the rope from two sides. I couldn’t breathe.  Then the angel of death approached me with a sharp long knife and started stubbing me between the ribs.
I did not feel the pain, only the pressure and a needle-like numbness on every stab.

The rope got me before the knife and everything went to black. When I came back to my senses there was blood everywhere and the air was hot and filled with smoke. They had set the ship on fire but in their sloppy work, they had not finished me off properly before doing so. I crawled with my elbows the few inches that separated us. It felt like a mile.

I got to you and held you with all my strength.

They could not keep us separated.
Not now nor never.
I bled out just when the fire started licking our bodies.
And then there was only blinding white.
And in it, there was you, with tears in your eyes, but forcing a smile.
I wanted to say I was sorry for disobeying you.
For not granting your last wish.

But I was not.

Cause I was once again with you.

In your arms.

And that was all that mattered.

The end