𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐌𝐄, finnick odair

𝟬𝟮𝟰. best friend

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024. best friend
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lyra sat on the cold floor of her cell, her back pressed against the cold metal wall, knees pulled to her chest. they'd turned the lights out the day before, she thought it had been a day, and hadn't turned them on since. she couldn't see anything, not johanna, not the cell itself, nothing. her fingers absentmindedly brushed over the smooth floor, tracing invisible lines. she was trying to remember something else. anything, but all there was were blurs of colour where there should've been memories. she had no ideas of who she was before or of the people before. nothing except her name.

and johanna. she knew she had johanna.

speak of the devil, she was doing worse than lyra. not in a torture sense, the two women had quickly come to the conclusion that comparing what was happening to them wouldn't do any good. debating over who was worse off would do nothing to help them get through it all. but emotionally, lyra was doing much better. mostly because her memory essentially reset every night.

it was a whole different type of screwed up. peeta was hurting, they knew that. his screams echoed through the halls every night, johanna having to explain it to lyra each and every time. whenever she did, she got a few memories of a blonde boy playing games with her and laughing about someone called katniss and someone else named finnick. johanna couldn't confirm it but she felt like that was probably peeta.

johanna was done. she couldn't handle the constant shocks. they would come in every day with a vat of water and a bunch of other shit, like they were cycling around the victors. johanna in the morning, peeta through the day, lyra at night.

she forgot every night by morning but she could remember finnicks voice some days, then it was johanna's teasing grin, katniss looking her up and down sceptically like she didn't belong there, peeta hugging her close when a cannon went off in the arena.

johanna was feeling conflicted. on one hand, she was glad lyra was getting slightly better at remembering things through the day but on the other, what if she remembered other things? the nights at the capitol? her family? her games? that wouldn't do any good "lyra?" she called weakly.

"yes?" lyra whispered back. johanna clung to the small victory of lyra knowing who she was. after the capitol had gotten her head shaved, lyra was finding it a little more difficult to identify her.

"good" she sighed "thought maybe you'd forgotten how to talk, too" johanna said, her voice light but sharp. she was trying to joke. she hadn't tried to do anything to that effect for a good few days.

"not yet" lyra tried to joke back to the best of her abilities "only everything else" despite the attempt, johanna could clearly hear the underlying bitterness in her voice.

"you remember me-"

"- i remember your name" she snapped before going quiet. she was trying not to be angry for johanna's sake "i know that i'm lyra, you're johanna, and there's someone waiting for me back home-" she tried again, calmly

"-yeah, that's-" she tried, getting cut off quickly.

"-don't" she snapped "i don't want to know"' lyra got increasingly upset "i'll just forget again and i'll know i've forgotten and everything will repeat over and over again until we've both gone mad and you're sick and tired of saying the same damn thing"

"i'll never get tired of reminding you, ly"

"that's not true" she shoot her head tiredly.

"it is!" johanna stressed "i love you, more than i've loved anyone before in my life, okay? you're my best friend and- and you'd do the same for me"

lyra didn't respond. she knew johanna's name because johanna told her more than once and she had clung to it like a lifeline. she couldn't remember a time where johanna was her best friend. she liked her, of course, but she did know her. not really. she knew the johanna that the capitol had taken, she knew the johanna that sat in the call next to hers. not the actual johanna.

she missed her best friend despite never knowing her.

"jo" lyra started, but johanna hushed her quickly, as if sensing a change in the air. something was happening. lyra was about to ask her what was going on when the air decompressing sound of johanna's cell door opening echoed through the halls.

"what-" johanna's voice was cut off, followed by heavy footsteps and a sharp intake of breath. lyra's heart raced in her chest as she scrambled to her feet and backed away into the corner. she heard someone outside of her own cell door, fiddling with the locks.

the blonde woman heard a new voice whisper "stay quiet" before her own door opened. a man walked into lyra's cell. tall, dressed in dark clothes that looked a bit similar to the peacekeepers suits. lyra's eyes widened, her mind attempting to catch up with what was happening.

"are you lyra?" he asked roughly, not noticing (or choosing to ignore)  her rigid stance and the tears gathering in her eyes. nonetheless, lyra nodded. her very being was screaming at her to run fast and far. before the 75th hunger games, lyra was luckily able to differentiate very clearly between the men at the capitol and others. after, everyone blended together and it became obvious to johanna that she'd developed a fear of men. alongside johanna's newly formed fear of water and peeta's inability to tell reality and fantasy, they really were fucked.

"we need to move," the man said, his tone just as firm as before "can you walk?"

lyra nodded again, though her legs felt weak. for some reason, she was suddenly hyper aware of her lungs and how they seemed to be getting smaller and smaller with every breath "johanna-" she tried to call for the woman though it came out as a whisper.

"already got her," the man replied, assuming she was talking to him. he gestured behind him, and sure enough, johanna appeared in the doorway. her face was a mixture of anger and relief, her eyes searching the faces of all the people there.

"come on, sunshine" johanna said, using the nickname for the first time since before the capitol "time to leave"

they moved quickly through the blindingly bright corridors, the people in the funny suits leading them with quick, silent steps. johanna kept close to lyra, her hand gripping hers. she could feel lyra's hand shaking violently within her own, not paying too much attention until she began slowing down.

"ly?" she asked, bringing attention to them.

"what's happening?" the man who'd come into lyra's cell questioned, doubling back and towering over them. that just seemed to make the blonde more frantic as she held a hand against her chest, trying to take a deep breath.

she could hear johanna and the man talking but couldn't make it out. it sounded like they were underwater. after a while, her vision began getting spotty and she felt a harsh pinch on her neck.

lyra didn't remember anything else.

————— authors note !
hey loves! sorry for the super late update, i promise exams will be done soon and i've got a holiday planned soon so ill be able to write a lot then too.
this is kind of crap but the next one is a finnick and lyra reunion finally 🥰
love you, please comment, byeeee 💋