No Angel

XIX

She wasn't drunk. Sure she had started off the afternoon with a full bottle of vodka and sure, now she only had half of it left but she wasn't drunk. She would never get drunk around Lola because she wasn't that irresponsible and the taste of Vodka made her wince every time she swallowed it and it wasn't usually her drink of choice. She'd rather have some type of Smirnoff, but today it was straight up Vodka because her best friend had just confessed that he was in love with her.

That curveball of a confession left her feeling dizzy and confused and insecure because her best friend was in love with her and her ex-whatever-she-could-refer-to-Wilmer-as was also in love with her and her current boyfriend who she had hid her reasonable abortion from was in love with her and it was all too much. Sure, she had been pregnant with Trey's first child and they were closer than the average best friends and they always went back to each other but love? And how the hell was Wilmer in love with her when he was willing to give her the world but she wouldn't take it from him? Not to mention his daughter and baby mama that he kept from her. And Drake, God, Drake, he was in love with her too and it didn't even matter that he was her current boyfriend because she couldn't even allow herself to let those words spill out of her mouth. Love? Love? All these guys were in love with her and for what?

It was the middle of the day and here she was, pacing in circles in her meditation room as the California sun shone down on her and the bottle of Vodka that was dangling between her fingertips, trying to sort through the mess that was her love life while her niece was sleeping upstairs. Just when she thought everything was good again Trey just had to confess that he was in love with her. Why couldn't he just marry Mila and move on from her? Couldn't he just take one for the team for once?

"Babe!" She really should work on locking her doors. Or maybe she had given Drake a key, not that she could remember, but she was in that state of intoxication where her mind was all cloudy and she couldn't even remember if she ate breakfast this morning.

"I'm in here!" she exclaimed. Thank God she wasn't slurring her words that much but he probably wouldn't be too pleased to see her tipsy and pacing like there was no tomorrow.

"I'm not drunk," she stated as soon as he entered and took in her appearance. She had shed her pants because she was in the comfort of her own house and if she didn't wanna wear pants, she didn't have to. Now she was just in one of his shirts because she liked the smell of his cologne and it felt like he was hugging her without him actually being there.

"You're drunk," he replied, coming further into the room and taking the bottle from her hands. It wasn't much of a fight but that didn't stop her from pouting and folding her arms over her chest like the immature child that she sometimes felt like.

"I'm not drunk. I'm a little tipsy but I'm not drunk. You know how much it takes to get me drunk," she said before restarting her pacing. She couldn't do that thing where she exhaled the negative and inhaled the positive because her mind was too jumbled up.

"And even if I am drunk who cares because I think I have the right to get drunk after finding out that my best friend is in love with me and so is some other guy who didn't tell me about his baby mama and his daughter and oh, so is my boyfriend who I'm just now getting back together with after months of being apart. And oh as if I don't have enough on my plate I have some unknown whore trying to completely ruin my reputation just as everything seems to be going right in my life! I think that warrants being drunk!" Demi didn't even know what she was saying and she didn't care if Drake understood her, she just needed all of that off of her chest because that was the mess that her life had succumb to. She thought everything was good when it wasn't. Nothing good ever lasted, she of all people should know that.

"Babe, it's gonna work itself out. Why are you stressing over this?" Did he seriously just ask her that?

"Drake, this is my reputation on the line. If this gets out, if Mila really leaks all this stuff, I'm done. For years I've denied whatever used to go on between me and Trey and now I'm just gonna be seen as a big fat liar because the rumors about us were true and I'm a hoe for having sex with a man in a relationship and Trey may have been involved and he may have cheated too but no one's gonna care because I'm female and I'll be the one who gets all the blame. I'm done," she breathed out, plopping down on the floor and burying her face in her hands. She didn't know how to fix this or lie her way out of this. She didn't even feel like it was anyone's business but Mila was hurt and she was angry and she was going to destroy her without blinking an eye.