No Angel

XXVI

"How nice of you to join us. We weren't sure if you were gonna show or not," was the first thing that Demi heard after she had taken her plush seat in the conference room on the top floor of Def Jam Records, the one that overlooked the entire city and gave a magnificent view for when she was trying to tune out the label executives. Less than an hour ago she had been in the middle of an emotional breakdown on her couch and now she was fully clothed, fresh faced, and sporting a forced smile. She knew she was on thin ice for just disappearing without telling anyone so now wasn't the time to break out the attitude.

"I'm sorry for not telling you guys that I was leaving. With everything going on, I just needed to get away or else I would've gone insane. I know I didn't make the best choice but I'm here now and I'm ready to rehearse for the festival," Demi apologized as sincerely as she could. Nothing that she said was true but they didn't have to know that.

"Well since you already know that your actions were incredibly stupid, we don't need to waste time reprimanding you. I'm glad that you're ready to work because we've booked you for the daytime village as well as the night time concert. The daytime village is Saturday though, and since your collab with Trey is one of the most popular songs out right now, you'll be performing it live. Together," L.A explained as Demi furrowed her eyebrows. Were these people stupid? With everything going on, with everything that had happened, they really wanted to stir everything up again by having her perform a sexy love song with Trey?

"I don't think that's the best-"

"It'll get everyone talking, Demi. I know it's not the ideal situation but even bad press is good press. It'll give your album another boost as well and we need that so we can secure this Grammy nom. I'm sorry if it puts you in an uncomfortable position but it's going to happen whether you like it or not, it'd just be easier if you would cooperate."
Demi didn't even have any fight left in her. She was exhausted and Drake had broken her heart less than an hour ago. She could barely even breathe and every part of her body ached. He didn't just break her heart. He broke her. He was right about her being fucked up but did he have to just fuck her and leave like that?

An hour later she was in the middle of rehearsals for the iHeart Radio Festival. Everyone that was performing was there and when they weren't rehearsing they were getting fitted for wardrobe or watching each other rehearse. Demi noticed a few of her colleagues that she spoke to every once in a while milling about while she tried to work through the cords of one of her songs, but she paid them no mind. Right now her music was the only thing that was keeping her distracted and she needed that if she didn't want to break down into tears in front of everyone.

"Hey." She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the unexpected voice behind her. Trey took a seat next to her on the edge of the stage and furrowed his eyebrows as he took in her appearance. It wasn't that she looked bad, but just tired. And not even in just the literal sense of the word. She just looked like she would fall apart if anything else happened to her and he felt terrible for that.

"I heard we're supposed to be performing together. Do you wanna rehearse?" He questioned as she set her guitar down on the side of her.

"I think we'll be fine." She was quiet and unsure and he wasn't used to that. Last time she had been like that was when she was telling him that she had gotten an abortion and she was afraid of his reaction.

"Demi-" he reached for her arm but she quickly snatched it away and hopped off of the stage.

"I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow." She didn't want to talk to Trey. His betrayal was still fresh in her mind and after what had happened with Drake...she just wanted to stay away from men for a while. She just wanted to be by herself and focus on not completely falling apart despite how bad she wanted to.

"Hey, what's the rush?" Sean asked when she nearly ran into him on her way back to her dressing room. He caught her arms and steadied her while she pushed her hair out of her face.

"Nothing, I was just gonna head to the studio to record this song I wanna sing tomorrow..." Demi said with a shake of her head. She felt like she was completely out of it and she had a perfectly good reason why.

"Oh...you want me to come with you?" He was only offering because she didn't really look like she needed to be alone. Maybe she wanted to but he didn't think that anyone ever really wanted to be left alone.

"You don't have to, Sean. I'm sure you have to rehearse," she said with a breathy laugh. Having Sean there for her was nice and she appreciated him more than anyone else in her life at the moment but she didn't want him to feel like he just had to be with her at all times, like he just had to protect her or else she would end up doing something stupid.

"I don't mind. There's not much for me to rehearse." So he followed her back to her dressing room where she gathered her things and Lola, who had been keeping herself occupied with a coloring book. In less than an hour they were at her usual studio getting everything set up, with food just in case they wanted to take a break.

"What type of song is it?"

"It's like a ballad I guess. Kind of like my old stuff, just raw lyrics and vocals. I feel like I haven't recorded anything like it in a while," Demi said as she took a seat at the piano and situated the microphone so that it was in front of her. She was gonna have Steve come and play the piano for her but she wanted to be alone. She hadn't done this in so long and most of the time she wasn't even comfortable with people watching her when she was singing a song like this. But she had dimmed the lights down so that it really did feel like it was just her.

Sean held a thumbs up and she began to play. It was somewhere in between the time that Drake had left her and she had went to her label meeting that she had written this song. It came to her while she was on the shower floor, curled into herself while the searing hot water burned her skin but it didn't matter because she was just so numb. How could Drake just leave her like that? How could he just fuck her on the couch and then disappear?

Somewhere in between the chorus and the bridge she couldn't even play anymore because her eyes were so blurred with tears and she couldn't even sing anymore because she was too busy choking on her own sobs. Everyone eventually left her. Her dad had never been a consistent figure in her life but now he was dead and she was never gonna see him again. Drake left her without a second thought after fucking her and calling her fucked up. Was it all her fault? Was there something wrong with her? Was that why no one was willing to stick around for her?

Strong arms wrapped around her and it just made her cry even harder because these weren't the arms that she wanted to hold her. Was it bad that she had Sean here who was willing to be there for her but she didn't want him to be? Didn't she just deserve to wallow in her sadness all alone because it was after all her fault that everyone eventually left her?

No words could even be spoken. She didn't know what to say to justify her sudden breakdown and he didn't say anything to her. He just held her as if he understood why she had finally reached this point, this point of no return.

Song is Stone Cold 😔