Academically Inclined

Part IX: Choose You

I sat in my car hugging my knees to my chin continuing to purge myself of tears. Periodically, I would look up to see if I saw his car. It didn't take long until I saw the bright headlights of his Tahoe barreling down the road turning into the grocery store parking lot. He was speeding- I had no doubt. He parked and immediately got out of the car without shutting the door behind him. He came over to my door and opened it. He saw that I had been crying and asked, "do you want me to hold you?" I nodded yes repeatedly and opened my arms to his embrace. I don't know what made me trust this man over Shane, who I grew up with. But his arms were a welcomed comfort in comparison. My head rested firmly against his chest which was solid - even through a large sweatshirt, I could feel his pecks muscles and it became more apparent when he would tighten his hold around me. One of Wyatt's arms wrapped around my waist while the other wrapped around cradling my head. He would periodically run his fingers through my hair but would always return to the original posture. I lost track of time as he held me, and I lost control of my emotions as I cried a deep guttural sob. 

I eventually looked up to Wyatt's face and he responded by looking down into my eyes. He moved one hand to be able to wipe away a few remaining tears and said, "do you want to talk about it?" I then explained how my night had gone and the confusion that I had felt during my time with Shane. "So this is the other 'boy?' Seriously?!" He said almost offended. "No, I hadn't been talking to anyone, but yesterday or today, whatever day it is, is when all of this happened. There was no one else. I didn't mean to say boys before. I don't even know why I said that." I shook my head annoyed with myself. "So, are you going to see him again?" Wyatt asked. "No. I don't know. I don't think so. Maybe?" I responded uncertain. "Tori, I think by now you have an idea of how I feel about you, so if you are expecting me to sit here and be supportive of you to go back to that dirtbag, I'm not going to. ... You know, I think you feel the same about me, but you're afraid to admit it. I mean, explain to me, why am I here, Tori? Why did you call me?" He came close to my face to inspect my eyes to encourage the truth. "I... I...." I couldn't get the words out. "Why can't you be with me?" He asked. "I'm a good guy, I'm in school. I make good grades." "You are a good guy. I just don't know what my parents would think if they knew I was ... spending time with a substitute teacher from my school..." I said finally. "So, you are embarrassed of me?" He asked to which I responded, "No! I just don't think my parents would view this as some sort of inappropriate relationship or something..." "But they would be okay with you dating someone who pushes you to do things you aren't comfortable with?" Wyatt said with venom. "He stopped once he saw I was upset," I corrected but I had no idea why I felt the need to protect Shane. "Oh, well, at least he stops a little while after you're upset. He sounds like a true gentleman. Yes, that's exactly the type of guy any parent would want for their child. .... You know what, I think, it's time for me to go home because I don't want to interfere with the happy couple anymore than I already have." Wyatt took out his keys from his pocket and began back towards his car. "Please, Wyatt. Please don't go." I said through tears. His words had pierced through me like nothing I had previously experienced. "Why?! Why should I not go. You don't want me. -" Wyatt was raising his voice but I interrupted him by saying, "I do want you." He looked at me, "Well, that's great, but if you aren't going to do anything about it... then I am not just going to be waiting around for the day that you make up your mind that you can be with me regardless of what your parents or anyone else would think." 

My eyes looked down because I wasn't sure if I was thinking clearly and did not know if I was actually ready to make the commitment to begin a relationship with Wyatt. He stood there in silence for a moment and then said, "I hope you choose you one day, Tori." He got back into his car, shut the door and drove back where he came. I watched his lights trail into the darkness until they disappeared into the night.