Choosing Us

Part XIV: Goodbye, Mr. Daniels

My eyes were already open when my alarm went off. In fact, I had been awake for most of the night. It still was so hard for me to fathom that Wyatt would have stood me up after everything. I felt like I had been both truly seen and truly rejected within a matter of a few days. I, Victoria Simmons, had spent my life simply playing the part for those around me, until, I meet Wyatt. He challenged me, inspired me, and excited me to try something new, be something different, and most importantly embrace authenticity and honesty. The betrayal and resignation to resort back to the status quo was now the only thing I could think to do.

After getting ready, I picked up Liv. She gave me a half-hearted smile to which I responded with an unconvincing smile without teeth, such as the ones that annoyed pre-teens give to their mothers when asked to pose for a picture. We rode in mostly silence but Liv would still interject her opinions on the songs that playing from our preferred radio station. We had parked and were about to get out of the car when Liv put her hand on mine and said, "he's an idiot. Nothing more. Nothing less. I love you, and anyone would be lucky to have you." We stared into each others eyes and my expression softened. I knew that though I had been let down and hurt by someone, they were not Liv, and there was no reason for me to take out my pain and frustration on her. I squeezed her hand tightly and said, "I love you too." I then gave her a more genuine but still reserved smile. We hugged and she began to tear up. "Now get your book bag and shit... I don't want to be late and look like I've been crying." We both laughed. 

We walked in and immediately saw a pacing Wyatt in front of her door scanning the hallway as if he was looking for someone. I then realized, it was me he was trying to find. Our eyes met and his face lit up as if he suddenly recalled an answer on an exam. He then appeared to be beginning to walk our direction until Liv grabbed me and pulled me into a different hallway. "You're too freshly wounded to see him," She said protectively and annoyed. "I am going to have to see him..." I began. "Well, you have to show him that you don't give a fuck about him. What about Shane? Where's Shane? Are you and Shane still dating?" Liv rabidly began questioning and strangely enough, I had not even given Shane any thought over the last couple of days. "I mean, I guess so," I said in an uncertain tone. The bell rang reminding us that we had only a few minutes to get where it is that we needed to go. We raced to our first period class and successfully dodged Wyatt and Shane, but as the first period ended, Shane appeared at the door to my classroom. "Would it be okay if I walked you to class?" He asked meekly. "Sure, Shane," I said. He pointed out his elbow encouraging me to lace my arm into the nook that he had created, and I did so. As we began walking to my second period class, Shane said, "I know that I have not been the best boyfriend. I know that I've been really selfish and stupid, and you don't deserve that. I feel like, in a lot of respects, I've just been trying to be someone that I'm not." My eyes scanned the floor avoiding eye contact with Shane as I was taking in what he was saying. "What do you mean?" I asked trying to get him to explain what he meant by this disclosure. He pulled me to an empty side of the hallway and whispered "Listen, Tori, I'm a virgin. I have always gotten pressure from the guys about sleeping with girls, but I just can't have that be the focus with you." He trailed off trying to make eye contact with me by lowering his head to meet my eyes. I met his eyes and saw sincerity. "I really like you, and I have been a fucking idiot. I mean shit, the first time I try to spend time with you I pressure you. The dance, I got drunk to try to have liquid courage to go further with you, but that's just it. I don't want to pressure you or make you do something you aren't comfortable with. I actually... really... like you." He appeared to not have said what he wanted to say regarding describing and categorizing his affection towards me, but the meaning was still interpreted. "I understand if you don't want anything to do with a stupid, immature guy like me, but I'm telling you, I really want to give this a shot. Would you be willing to give me another chance?" I waited and thought for a few seconds and ultimately nodded. Internally, I asked myself, "girl, what the fuck do you have to lose at this point?" 

Shane jumped up in the air and hugging me so tight that he lifted me up in the air as he spun around. As he was dropping me off at my second period class, you know, Wyatt's class. Shane's arm was around me and he didn't let go until we reached my table. He then leaned over an kissed me on the cheek. As I looked up, I saw Wyatt's face. 

He looked pale and sick as if he had seen a car accident, but then his expression turned to anger. "Do you not have a class to be in, Mr. Crowe? Or have you just decided to save everyone the trouble and accept the F that you were undoubtably already going to receive?" He then began gritting his teeth and titled his head waiting on an answer. Shane looked up with an offended expression. "Uh, excuse me, Mr...?" Wyatt quickly interjected, "Mr. Daniels to you. Now leave my class, and do not come back in here again. Miss Simmons is perfectly capable of walking to her own desk without your help." He said with venom dripping from every word. The class was watching the banter between Wyatt and Shane as if it were a tennis match. I suddenly became very embarrassed of the situation and new my face was displaying that horror as evidenced by my burning cheeks. "Dude, you have been after me since the first day you started. What the hell is your problem? I will walk my girlfriend to her desk whenever I want because I want to treat her the way she is meant to be treated." Shane said not backing down, in fact, he began to take a few steps closer to Wyatt. I was trying to get Shane's attention to tell him to leave the classroom but he and Wyatt both had tunnel vision. Wyatt laughed causing me a shockwave of discomfort and fear for what was to come next. "A good boyfriend? You NOW care about being a good boyfriend? This is the same guy who got drunk at a HIGH SCHOOL dance and was about to drive your girlfriend home? Is THAT being a good boyfriend?" Veins were beginning to pop out of Wyatt's neck. I had never seen him so defensive and angry. I finally stood up and said, "That's ENOUGH!" Shane looked at me and looked back at Wyatt. "I'm sorry Tori. I don't know-" Shane began. "Just leave." I told him. The classroom was so quiet you could have overheard the mice gossiping about the events that just took place. 

For the rest of the period, Wyatt seemed completely distracted and tripping over his words. In between slides, he would be trying to make eye contact, but I would not reciprocate his gaze. Once the bell rang he asked me to stay after class. Instead of waiting for all of the other students to leave before I approached, I walked up there with my belongings and said, "Yes, Mr. Daniels?" He looked hesitantly at me before saying, "I need to talk to you," he began. "I need to apologize-" I interrupted before he could continue, "Don't worry about it. It should have never happened. We're good." I was about to walk away but he grabbed my wrist and looked deep into my eyes, "I'm sorry I didn't show yesterday, please let me explain-" he began earnestly. "I'm sure you have a really great excuse, Mr. Daniels, but I really don't want to hear it. Especially after that showing during class." I said removing my wrist from his grasp and turning away from him. He then whispered, "so that's it?!" I quickly turned back around. "Yes, and we don't need to ever talk about it again. I'm going to live my life as if it never happened- as if YOU never happened." I had begun to walk away but suddenly had a wave of rage wash over me so I turned on my heels and pointed in his direction, "I'm so tired of people letting me down. You know, Wyatt. You really had me fooled, you know, like really. I believed that you were different and that what was between us with the physical and emotional chemistry- whatever bullshit you want to call it- was different, but you weren't. So, now we're here, and now, I leave. Goodbye, Mr. Daniels." I turned and walked out of the room, my eyes tearing up a little as I walk down the hall. Shane runs to greet me. "Hey, are you okay? What was that all about?! I'm sorry-" Shane began defending himself. "It's okay. It's all okay." I continued walking past him towards the hallway doors exiting the building. I made a strong push against the doors until they hit the wall and I kept walking without looking back.