Soulless

Chapter 4: Bitter Ignorance

Joseph walked alongside Meredith, and although Elvira tried to mask her feelings, the weight of her sadness and jealousy was unbearable. Seeing Joseph, someone who had temporarily brought light into her life, being swept away by her sister's charm was more than she could handle. Every day after that, Joseph's interactions with Elvira dwindled. He spoke to her less and less, his focus shifting almost entirely to Meredith. Elvira watched in silence as her once-in-a-lifetime connection slowly slipped through her fingers.

Just like that, I felt lonely once more.

Even Joseph was another object of ignorance.

My life returning to its typical cycle of misery and internal pain.

Then, one Saturday, Meredith invited Joseph over for a holiday's dinner to formally introduce him to their family as her boyfriend. On the night of the dinner, their parents were immediately impressed by Joseph, his charming demeanor winning them over almost instantly.

"Joseph, what a fine gentleman you are," Elvira's father remarked as he raised his glass. "Meredith has chosen well, and we expected nothing less from her."

"Thank you, sir," Joseph replied with a modest smile. "I liked Meredith right when our eyes met. It's hard to ignore a bright, golden flower like her in the midst of a plain terrace."

Laughter and lively conversation filled the room. Meredith and Joseph exchanged glances, smiling at one another as their parents fawned over them. Everyone seemed happy and content. Except for Elvira. She sat quietly in her seat, her eyes cast downward as she barely touched her food. Every laugh that escaped from her parents or Meredith felt like a knife twisting in her heart. She felt invisible, even more so than before. No one seemed to notice her silent suffering and they didn't seem to care either. His once kind and attentive gaze was now reserved solely for her sister. The bond Elvira had cherished was nothing more than a fading memory.

Their mother noticed Elvira's absentminded state and began to scold her like she always did, but this time more formally since Joseph was present.

"Elvira, must you really sit here like a ghost?" she chided. "It's a holiday, and we have company. Please, stop playing with your food and try to pay attention to our conversation."

Elvira flinched at her mother's words, though she tried to remain composed. It wasn't the first time her mother had scolded her for being absent minded during family gatherings, but tonight, with Joseph sitting at the table, it stung more than usual.

Before Elvira could gather herself to respond, her father chimed in dismissively. "Your sister has found a good looking boyfriend. Aren't you going to say anything?" All eyes turned to her, waiting for her response.

Joseph's gaze lingered, though it was Meredith he was still focused on, not her. Elvira could feel the pressure closing in, her family's expectations like a weight on her chest. She wanted to scream, to tell them how she truly felt. That she was far from happy, that her heart was breaking, that Joseph had been hers first, even if only in her mind.

But instead, she swallowed those emotions and forced herself to speak. "Of course, I'm happy for Meredith. I knew she and him were meant to be together," she replied flatly and devoid of enthusiasm.

Their mother pursed her lips, clearly unsatisfied, but refrained from pushing further in front of Joseph. Meredith smiled brightly and said, "Aww you're too kind, sister. I'm happy you're telling me that." She then turned away from Elvira's detached expression and told Joseph, "We really are two peas in a pot, aren't we?"

Just like that, her family stopped bothering and ignored Elvira again despite them initially being annoyed at her unenthusiastic attitude. When dinner was over, Elvira was helping their parents wash dishes and clean up the table like she was told while her sister Meredith was free to do whatever she wanted as she and Joseph kissed and danced together while having the song radio turned up in the living room. Once her chores were done, she slipped away unnoticed, retreating to the solitude of her room. She shut the door behind her, but not completely as it creaked upon just a crack, enough to let in the faint sound of the radio still playing downstairs. She sat on her bed, staring at the floor, her heart heavy with the familiar ache of isolation.

I wish he didn't come. I can't see how he can't notice how different our parents treat me and Meredith, Elvira disappeared into her silence of thoughts.

But then, unexpectedly, Joseph appeared at her door. He knocked softly, though the door was already ajar. Elvira looked up, surprised to see him standing there.

"Hey," he greeted awkwardly, stepping into the room. "I just wanted to check on you, Elvira."

Elvira remained silent, unsure of what to say. She had expected Joseph to be lost in the moment with Meredith, just like everyone else.

He glanced at the floor for a moment, trying to find his tongue. "I..umm..I noticed you helping out with most of the dishes and all and uh...didn't realize your parents had you doing that. I probably should've offered to help."

"No, you didn't have to. It's always been my responsibility," she replied as she tried to shrug it off, not wanting to make him feel guilty.

Joseph offered a small smile and said, "Look I know Meredith would have done it if she could've... she's been talking about you a lot lately."

Elvira remained silent, her eyes lowering to the floor. She didn't need to hear whatever platitudes he was about to offer.

"She says you're really sweet. She's always talking about how much she cares about you," he said proudly.

Elvira's lips tightened, a bitter taste forming in her mouth. She knew what was coming next. It was all empty reassurances that didn't match the reality of her life.

Joseph, while oblivious to how she was feeling, continued, "She says you're a bit private, but that's okay. But maybe...maybe if you were more open with her and your parents, they'd see how astounding you really are. You know, they're always going to be around to listen. That's what family is for."

The word "family" hit her mind like a wall of bricks. Elvira never once felt like she had anyone, not even the people who had the nerve to refer to themselves as her family. She felt the frustration rising in her chest. The words he spoke sounded sweet on the outside, but on the inside, they were hollow and false. She knew better than anyone that her parents had never truly listened to her, that Meredith, despite her supposed affection, had never seen the depths of her pain.

Joseph, sensing that his attempt to comfort her wasn't working, looked slightly awkward. "I just thought... maybe it would help, you know?"

Elvira forced a tight smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah, maybe. I guess." she replied.

But inside, she felt like screaming. How could he stand there and say those things as if they held any truth? How could he not see that she had been invisible for so long, that her family's indifference had shaped her into the isolated person she had become?

Joseph nodded, his face filled with a faint sense of helplessness. "Well, I'll leave you alone for now. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

As he turned to leave, Elvira remained silent, the door closing behind him with a soft click. She stared at the empty space where Joseph had stood moments before, her heart aching. She laid back on her bed, feeling the weight of the lie he had told. One that Meredith, their parents, and even Joseph believed that she was cared for, that her family would listen if she opened up. But Elvira knew better. She had tried, again and again for years, to reach out to them, to be seen, to be heard. And each time, they dismissed and turned her away.