Walmart Must Die

Link: I

I'll always remember when I first met Zero. Well, officially. Well, well, both times were memorable. But, fuck it, I'm referring to the second time when we really actually got to meet the mysterious drug addict from the night before.

But not because it was special. Actually it was very ordinary. Me and Neo were at the store (as usual), shooting the shit (as usual again) when in comes this kid. Weirdest thing, nothing about their features stood out at all, almost like they were a blank slate. I couldn't even tell if they were a guy or a girl, to be honest. Just an overall bland and unimportant face.

The beanie, though, I'd know it anywhere.

"Ah!" I said, recognition clear on my face I'm sure and my arm went up and my pointer finger extended, singling out the poor guy.

"Link!" Neo whisper yelled at me. "Link, put your stupid fucking hand down!"

When I didn't Neo leaned over the counter and yanked me by the arm to the other side of it.

"Hey! No—what did I tell you about manhandling me!? I like my feet firmly on the—"

Neo covered my mouth and made me squat down behind the counter with him.

"For once in your life, please, shut up for a second. The guy was passed out last night, remember? He doesn't know us. Just play it cool."

I started talking but it only came out as mumbles, Neo still had his hand on me.

"Promise not to yell?"

I nodded and he released me.

"But, why is he here? He was supposed to just be a pass by druggie, remember? And we keep saying guy, but do you really think it is, cause I have my doubts, did you see his—"

Neo ignored me and stood back up, taking his place behind the cash register. I joined him, leaning nonchalantly against the counter as I scanned the store for Zero. That was the first time I coined the name, before we had even met.

Luckily, the kid hadn't noticed my Phoenix Wright level outburst, their attention had been drawn immediately to the PS3 games to the left of the door.

"So," I whispered out of the corner of my mouth, "What's the plan here?"

"There is no plan, you just stay quiet and out of the way. We need to learn more about him. Or, her..."

"Ha! You aren't sure either! Want to make a bet? I think—"

"Shhh, whatever it is, it's coming this way."

#

You noticed them as soon as you walked in the door. You doubted there was anyone else who would wear those sunglasses indoors. Your heart pounding in your chest, you darted over to look at something, anything, while you tried to figure out what to do.

You couldn't leave, that would be too suspicious. You just had to play it cool, for all they knew you were a junkie who hadn't seen a thing last night. So...no need to be afraid.

Putting back a game you had been looking at, you turned and headed straight for the counter. This seemed to catch both the guys off guard but they quickly played it off. They were obviously just as nervous as you were.

"Can I help you?" asked the guy in the shades, smiling kindly.

"Yeah..." You tried to think of a game that was hard to find. "Do you have Earthbound, by any chance?"

#

Earthbound? I remember thinking, holy shit, I need to find out if this is a chick ASAP. The only people who asked about Earthbound were usually overweight, middle-aged Nintendo fanboys. Someone around my age and possibly the opposite sex? Even if there was a half and half chance she had a dick, I was already in love.