Euronymous

Chapter Thirty Five

T/W - talk of pregnancy, abortion, mental health

I stared at the pregnancy test. Two lines indicated positive. How the hell could this have happened?
Obviously I knew the technical answer... I just couldn't believe it. I was struck with fear and overwhelmed with emotions and confusion. What did this mean for me? What did this mean for us? Would he leave? Would he want me to have an abortion? Would I want an abortion? Would I want to keep it?
My head pounded at the million thoughts running through my mind as I took in a staggered breath. I could feel myself dissociating, my body and mind becoming more numbed by the minute as my brain went into survival mode. My limbs became heavy, and I sank to the floor of the bathroom, unable to move. I wasn't sure how long I had been there, but eventually the sound keys in the front door pulled me out of my daze slightly.
"Peach?" Øystein called out to me but I couldn't seem to respond. All I could do was stare blankly at the test in my hand.
He called out again before knocking at the bathroom door. The sound of it being so close made my heart thud harder, but I still couldn't move. He knocked and called out again, before opening the door.
"Hey, what are you d-" he stopped, seeing the test in my hand. Our eyes met and I felt tears beginning to stream down my face as he stared, wide eyed. After a few moments, he came and sat beside me, silent as he stared at the test - processing.
He reached out and took it, placing it aside before he pulled me into him firmly. I sobbed as he stroked my hair gently, rocking me slightly. It felt like a long time before either of us broke the silence. He swallowed a lump in his throat as I pulled back, too anxious for what he was going to say to look at him directly.
"I-" he hesitated, taking another moment.
"I love you. I want to do whatever is best for you... for us. No matter what you choose, I'm here." His voice was soft and gentle, reassuring. I sniffled, looking up at him as I searched his eyes - I believed him.
"I- I don't know," I sobbed and he pulled me back into him.
"It's okay, love. Everything is going to be okay, I promise." He shushed me gently to soothe me back to calm.

"If you want to keep it, I swear I'll get my shit together." He promised and surprisingly, I chuckled. He looked at me with confusion for a moment as I pulled back and looked at him.
"You'd really want to keep it?" I asked through tears as I wiped my nose on my sleeve.
He took a moment before answering.
"I mean... yeah. It's fucking terrifying, but... I feel like we could brave it together." His hand squeezed mine and I felt my heart pounding.
"Really?" I whispered.
"Really." He laughed nervously as we stared at each other for a moment. I nodded.
"O-okay." I swallowed and his eyes seemed to light up.
"Okay? Like, w-we're gonna have a baby?" His voice was shaky, but I swear I could hear excitement under his anxiousness. I nodded and he grinned, placing his hand behind my head and pulling me in for a kiss. Our lips sparked and I felt the electricity run over my skin again as my heart pounded with anxious excitement.

We'd spent the next few days unpacking and lounging around, tentatively making jokes about how we would tell our parents. It was strange but exciting to call this my new home and life - and even more exciting that it was Øystein's too. It all felt surreal, like a dream.
I felt more relaxed once Øystein had told me that Varg had signed the contract and posted it back to him. He hadn't heard from him since, and I hoped it would stay that way.

"Hey..." I started, wrapping my arms around his waist in the kitchen.
"What's up?" He asked nervously, rinsing his glass.
"Could I put one of your pictures of Pelle in a frame? I'd really love to put it on the bedside." I wasn't sure why I was so nervous - maybe because it involved Pelle. He nodded.
"Of course. You made me think you were gonna ask to peg me or something." He chuckled and I smirked.
"Don't give me ideas, Aarseth." I warned him and he laughed, shaking his head.

I found the shoebox and picked the photo of him and Pelle in their corpse paint, placing it carefully in a small black frame. He came over as I stood up and took it in his hands. He stared at it for a few moments before looking up at me.
"I want you to cut my hair." His request caught me off guard and I looked at him in surprise.
"W-what?" He placed the photo down.
"I feel like this is a fresh start... for both of us. It just feels right." He looked unsure, but I nodded.
"Yeah. Fresh start." I smiled and he touched my stomach lightly, grazing his thumb across it gently.

We sat on the floor of the lounge room, a towel beneath us as I knelt behind him. We only had kitchen scissors, but Øystein didn't mind. I made sure he knew he would probably have to get it touched up professionally - but he still insisted that I cut it for him. I think he was nervous. I found it endearing that he trusted me to help him with such a transformation. It was more than just hair... it was letting go of everything that was holding him back and embracing a new future - one he could be proud of.
He took a deep breath as I raised the scissors to a chunk of his hair at the back.
"W-wait..." he paused and thought for a moment. "O-okay... I'm ready." I cut, and let his hair fall to the floor.
His eyes were soft as I moved to the sides and he watched his hair fall away. I realised just how much this meant to him.
I tried my best to make it look somewhat passable - it was rough, but he was still incredibly handsome.

"What do you think?" He muttered nervously, turning to me. I smiled and kissed him gently for a few moments, feeling my heart swell.
"You are beautiful." I whispered, making him chuckle. "I mean it." I held his gaze and he blushed slightly, realising I was serious.
I ran the water to the shower and let him step in first.
"I'll be in soon, I'm just going to tidy up." I told him. I did just that, placing the scissors on the kitchen counter and the scraps of hair in the bin. I gave him a few minutes of alone time while I packed away some more clothing. Before I headed back to the bathroom, I grabbed him an oversized white button up shirt and his black track pants.

I slid the curtain back as I stepped in, joining him under the steamy warm water. His short hair was slicked back and wet. I could see his sharp features more than before and I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulled me close and I felt more content in that moment than I ever had in my life. I moved my lips to his and we sank into each other. This was different to any other kiss we'd had... it was full of longing, but not lust. It felt like we needed to be closer, as if our lives depended on it. We finally pulled apart, lips still just inches apart.
I thought back to all of the time we had spent together... from moments of our childhood, our banter at the kebab shop, the parties, Helvete, family dinners... everything had led to this perfect moment, together.
"I'm so in love with you, Peach." He whispered softly, placing his warm bare hands on my stomach gently. I blushed and pecked his lips again, relishing in their warmth as his arms held me against his body, so lovingly.
"I'm so in love with you." I replied.

~~~~Fin~~~~
Thank you so much for reading! ❤️