Euronymous

Chapter Thirty Three

I sighed, watching the clock as it ticked all too slowly. I wanted to be there for Øystein. He had to close Helvete since his Dad stopped paying the rent. Varg had done what he promised and gone to the media. The raging idiot had gotten himself arrested after admitting he knew about the murder Faust was responsible for. The whole group was on edge - especially Faust and Øystein.
The bell above the door snapped me out of my trance - Jan and Krista walked in.
"Hey, how's he doing?" I asked worriedly.
Krista pursed her lips in a thin line and Jan gave me a look that told me it wasn't good. I sighed.
"I'll go straight there when I'm done."
"Else, he's in a pretty foul mood... I don't know if you'd even want to be around him right now." Jan sounded sympathetic and I smiled at him, grateful for the concern.
"I can imagine. But I feel so helpless sitting here." I groaned.

Hammed let me go a little early since it was quiet and I thanked him profoundly as I rushed out the door. I practically ran to Helvete, my stomach sank seeing the 'Closed' sign on the door as I watched Øystein packing records into boxes. Faust was helping him.
I walked in, as they were talking.
"I'll make a snuff film out of the whole fucking thing." Øystein's voice was cold and unnerving.
"Woah, easy Tiger." I held my hands up and he rolled his eyes, placing the taser he was holding down. I swallowed.
"I got here as soon as I could. Where do you want me to start?" I asked, throwing my bag in the corner.
"Wherever, it's all going into boxes." He muttered, defeat in his voice as he continued packing. I frowned when I realised he wasn't going to give me a proper hello, but didn't push it. He was devastated and furious - and rightly so. I knew he would come around eventually.

It was dark by the time we finished packing everything away. Kerang! Magazine from London had called to talk with Euronymous - apparently Øystein was trying to spin Varg's royal fuck up in his favour.
I sincerely hoped it would work, but we would have to wait and see. I was anxious - what if Varg turned Øystein in and pinned everything on him? I couldn't bear the thought of losing him.
"Hey, we can move the rest of these boxes tomorrow - I've filled the car up already." I walked into his basically empty office. He just nodded as he sat on the floor, deflated. I joined him, resting my head on his shoulder to comfort him. He let his head rest on mine, too and we sat in comfortable silence for a long time.

The next few days were uneventful. Varg was released from custody which had put me on edge, but he hadn't said anything to the cops.
I arrived at Øystein's after work. He answered the door, but not with his usual smile. Instead, I was greeted with an emotionless expression.
"What's wrong?" I tossed my bag aside and took his face in my hands gently, guiding his eyes to mine.
His fingertips rested softly on my waist, barely touching me as he got the words together.
"Kristian left Mayhem. He's pissed about the magazine article." He muttered and I saw the new issue of Kerang! sitting on the counter with Varg's face on it.
"Why is he mad about it?" I asked.
"Because apparently I'm a poser who doesn't take real action and fight for the cause." He muttered, rolling his eyes - but I could tell the words were getting to him. I sighed.
"So? We all know who the real poser is." I shrugged, picking up the magazine and flicking to the page it was on.
"Yeah but he says the same about me." He muttered as I quickly skimmed the article.
I turned to him and frowned.
"Look, you have this vision. You can still be a leader - be all those things you've wanted." I kept my tone even but firm. "You are capable of so much."
He looked at me and my face softened as I saw the tears in his eyes. "Things have just been...hard lately." He looked away sadly and I reached out, pulling him closer.
He buried his face in my shoulder and sobbed. My heart shattered at the sound. I held him tight and ran my hand over his hair to try and soothe him as I guided our bodies to the floor gently. His arms wrapped around me tighter and I felt tears in my own eyes. I hated seeing him so broken, defeated. It made my heart ache with a longing to take away his pain.

We sat for a while as his tears drenched my shirt and I whispered gentle reassurance in his ear lovingly. As he calmed, he pulled back and wiped at his face with the bottom of his shirt, taking in a deep breath.
He looked terrible - eyes red and glassy from the tears stood out against his pale skin. I touched his face, tucking his hair behind his ear. He almost looked embarrassed and I leant over, pecking his lips.
"I love you. I'm here." I offered him a small smile as he sniffled.
"I'm sorry, this is so pathetic." He wiped his face and laughed a little but I shook my head.
"No, baby, this is emotion and it's the most human thing you'll ever experience. It's beautiful." His eyes sparkled slightly and he leaned in, meeting his lips with mine gently.
"You're beautiful." He murmured, kissing me again. I blushed and stroked his cheek gently with my thumb.
"How are you this charming after a melt down?" I giggled as he pulled me onto his lap.
"You bring it out of me." He pecked my nose before brushing his over mine. We sat in silence for a while, just holding each other.
"What are you going to do?" I whispered after a while. He sighed.

I laid in bed as I watched Øystein finish typing up the contract he would send to Varg to cut their professional ties. I silently hoped this would end their friendship as well, given how scary he had become. Nothing good or positive came from their relationship and it worried me.
Øystein sat beside me on the bed, about to put his shoes on.
"I'm just going to post this. What do you want me to pick up for dinner?" He leant down and kissed my lips. As he tried to pull away, I groaned and wrapped my arms around his neck, keeping him close.
"Can't I just have you?" I murmured, sliding my tongue across his bottom lip lightly. He smirked into my kiss and bit my lip playfully, making me moan slightly.
"You can have me as soon as I get back, love." He pressed his lips firmly to my jaw and made his way down to my collarbone where he teased my skin with his tongue. I sighed as he pulled away.
"No fair." I complained, making a point to run my hand down my body. He grabbed it before I could touch anything sensitive. His eyes held my gaze as he brought the back of my hand to his lips and planted a kiss, making me smile.
"I'll be quick." He promised and I smirked.
"That's exactly what a girl wants to hear." Sarcasm rolled off my tongue and he chuckled.
"Chinese?" He asked, putting his coat on by the door.
"Sure."

I got up after he left and sat on the couch, turning the tv on. As I flicked through the channels, there was nothing of interest and I sighed. Maybe he had DVDs? I searched the small cabinet below the TV and came across a shoe box. Without thinking, I opened it.
I could feel my heart thud as I picked up the photo of Øystein and Pelle in their corpse makeup.
I recognised it from the party where I'd first met Pelle and painted his face. I let my hand trace over the glossy print as I bit my lip. I wondered if he would be happy for Øystein and I - how he would feel about all this shit with Varg. I missed him.
There was a piece of crumpled paper, stained with red under the photo that said 'Excuse the blood. Let the party begin' signed by Dead. I wiped at my face as I felt a tear fall. It felt odd, but I laughed a little. I hoped he was happier wherever he was.
I set the photo and note aside and brought the box back to the couch. I dug through the other photos in the box. Several were of the band, but some were of Øystein's family. To my surprise, one was of me. I hadn't realised he had a photo of me at all. It was a picture of me at their show as I was painting Øystein's face. I was grinning down at him and his arms were crossed as he held an uninterested expression so as to not ruin the make up.

I lost track of time and heard the front door open as Øystein returned.
"I got your favourite." He called, setting the food on the counter and removing his jacket. I felt my stomach knot as I realised he may not have wanted me looking at the photos. He looked over and his eyes fell to the photos scattered on the coffee table. I saw him swallow as he walked over, sitting beside me on the couch. I watched him carefully as he picked up the photo of him and Pelle. My heart ached as I realised he would remember finding his best friend in such a horrific state.
"You miss him, don't you?" I muttered. He nodded once and I decided against pushing the subject. He licked his lips and packed up the photos, placing them all back into the shoebox along with the note. He brought the take out bag to the couch and turned to me, taking a deep breath.
"I have something for you." He breathed out as he spoke and I searched his face.
"It's not the special fried rice, is it?" I smiled, trying to read his expression. He chuckled and reached into his jeans pocket, pulling out a silver key.
"I figured you're here enough anyway." He shrugged and I smiled, accepting the key.
"Is this you asking me to move in with you, Øystein?" I saw heat rise in his cheeks and he looked at me.
"That depends... would you say yes?" He smiled but he seemed a little unsure.
I grinned, taking his face in both my hands as I kissed him.