Areston thinks he can shield me from his past, but what he doesn't realize is I'm already part of it.
The darkness that haunts him? It's the same one that's been chasing me for years.
I've given him everything-my body, my heart, my soul-and still...
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My sleep is broken from the faint vibration of the phone coming from the nightstand. I open my eyes in the darkness and briefly close it again realizing that it has stopped vibrating. I turn onto my side to watch Areston's slow and deep breathing. He is fast asleep with an arm around me. I spin around from the spooning position and snuggle closer, wrapping my arm around him. Breathing in his evocative male scent, I allow myself to nuzzle into the sheer comfort of his neck. Unable to fall back asleep after some time, wondering who could be calling so late, I give up and wriggle out of the bed carefully so as not to disturb my husband's sleep.
Two missed calls from mama.
I spring into a sitting position in no time. Sliding out of the bed naked, I stride towards the French doors that open to the sprawling rooftop terrace. I pour myself a batched dirty martini from the bar. In the drawer, I find Areston's favorite cigar. Gurkha HMR. I've stopped smoking altogether because I no longer feel like it, but right now I could use some of that nasty stick. Pressing it between my lips, I light it as I walk past the salt-water lap pool while dialing my mama's number. I lean against the glass railing, admiring the glistening and bustling Manhattan beneath me. The view never gets old.
"You should be sleeping at this hour."
Typical of her. "So should you."
"I probably shouldn't be disturbing you right now. You need eight hours of proper sleep. It's a rule."
"And yet that rule didn't stop you from ringing me in the first place."
"No, it didn't," she exhales deeply. "How are you feeling?"
A smile slips on my lips. I place the glass on top of the thick surface of the glass railing and drag a smoke. "Even better when I know my mother cares about me enough to sacrifice her beauty sleep she never compromises on."
"What are you—" She brings herself to a sharp halt. "You are the most important thing in the world to me, baby."
"I was hurt when you didn't call me the whole day."
"I know."
"I was regretting having said whatever came to my mouth."
"I am glad you said it."
"Are you?" I ask, taking a deep drag of the cigar.
"I needed to witness the rage that was always simmering beneath the surface. I should've done it sooner."
I frown. "Done it sooner? You mean push me to blurt everything?"
"Yes. It wouldn't have instilled doubts about my love for you in your mind. I always wanted to be strong for you and it ended up ruining our relationship."
"Nothing can ruin our relationship, mama."
"It could have," she says heavily, her tone a reflection of her remorse. "I am so sorry, my darling child. It was truly my fault that I left you to those monsters. I cannot even begin to describe how I've felt ever since. Every day when I see you, I miss the daughter I lost. Not that I loved her, and not you. But I miss the innocence that was ruined. I should have shown more faith in you instead of trusting strangers."
