In The Grip of Trust

Chapter 19: A Whisper of Darkness

The evening sun painted the sky with hues of orange and purple, casting a serene glow over the small, quiet house. Ayesha sat by the window, staring at the world outside but not truly seeing it. The noise of the bustling neighborhood, the children playing, the call to Maghrib prayer-it all felt distant. A veil of numbness covered her heart, as if she had forgotten how to feel anything at all.

She could hear Amir's voice in the background, softly instructing his children to prepare for prayer. His gentle tone was always calm, filled with warmth and patience-something she found both comforting and alien at the same time. He had been nothing but kind since their marriage, but Ayesha felt trapped, suffocated by the walls of her new life. Her mind wandered back to the dark shadows of her past, replaying the moments that had shattered her faith.

Just as the evening prayer call echoed through the air, Ayesha's phone vibrated on the table. She picked it up, her heart sinking as she saw a familiar name flash across the screen. A message appeared: "You think you can escape? I will always find you." The words sent a cold chill down her spine, tightening the knot of fear in her stomach.

She quickly silenced her phone, her heart racing. The children were laughing and playing, oblivious to the turmoil inside her. Ayesha forced a smile, trying to push the feeling away, but the words echoed in her mind, festering like an untreated wound.

Later that night, after a long day filled with silence, Ayesha lay in bed beside Amir, pretending to sleep as she confirmed he was finally asleep. The house was quiet, save for the rhythmic sound of Amir's breathing. But Ayesha's heart was racing. The shadows in her mind felt too heavy, the darkness too suffocating.

She quietly slipped out of bed and made her way to the kitchen, the coolness of the floor tiles grounding her in reality. The knife gleamed ominously under the soft light as she grasped it tightly, the weight of her emotions crashing over her like a wave. Thoughts swirled in her mind-thoughts she couldn't control, thoughts of her past and the pain that enveloped her.

Tears streamed down her face as she pressed the blade against her skin, a tiny cut breaking the surface. Just as she was about to give in to the darkness, Amir stirred awake and sensed something was off.

"Ayesha?" His voice was hoarse, filled with concern. He quickly rose from the bed, following the quiet sounds of her movement.

In a moment of sheer panic Ayesha dropped the knife, but it was too late . Amir rushed into the kitchen and froze , tears streaming down her cheeks and a drops of blood flowing through the cut of her wrist.

"Ayesha!"he exclaimed rushing towards her . "What have you done?"

"I-- don't know " she sobbed , the weight of her despair crashing over her , "I just felt so lost, so trapped ---".

"I'm ti -- red, tired of living , I just wanted it all to end ---" darkness started to consume her . Smiling at amir ," Thanks for everything , please don't feel guilty, take care ---". She fell down in amir's lap ,"Ayeshaaaaa!!!. Don't leave me alone please, open your eyes, don't close them , please , Ya Allah don't take my Ayesha from me , I wont be able to survive this time , please ".