Red Alert/Red Notice (The "Super Jerk" Prequel)

33 - Come Away With Me

^^Above, chapter title credit: Song by Norah Jones. A great way to end this duology.^^

{Geoffrey}

Those years were the worst years of my life. I barely knew what I was doing, day after day. It was almost like my body didn't belong to me, jumping at Ridley's command even though my mind resisted every step of the way. I improved my mental telepathy because of him, but it was just so I could insult him at every chance I got.

He got worse too. I saw him grab for more and more power, making his way up through the ranks of state government until he made it to mayor. I saw his son grow up, but not mine. I was no longer welcome in many places, being vilified and turned into Ridley's puppet. I missed Raina painfully, which was probably why Ridley eventually sent me back there to catch the attention of my son, and to spy on him. He had plans for him, apparently, plans that didn't involve me or my wife. I was just a means to an end.

By then, they all hated me or thought I was dead. I missed my old friends, my old life, and my family. It was a living hell. Every time I would try to rebel, Ridley would get another hook into me and pull me back in, threatening to hurt Ettie, Cam, Raina.

I hated myself. I'd killed people, innocent people. Hugo and Aisha were dead because of me, and many more died before I was stopped. I'd beaten up my own son while Ridley held my wife in a headlock and made her watch.

Now, though, looking at all of them together, I feel a rush of nostalgia. Raina's aged, far more drastically than I imagined. But the way her smile flickers at me, I can still see that headstrong girl I ran into on the first day of the school year. I'm sure she remembers it too.

When she leaves with Ettie to go get something to eat, I sit down next to my son's hospital bed. He watches me, his eyes bruised and face swollen. I know I'm to blame for all of this. I practically created this mess.

"Cam..." I say, but he slowly shakes his head, throat working as he swallows.

"You don't have to say anything, Dad," he says. His eyes are my wife's, a life of struggle hidden beneath a thin layer of strength. "Mom told me everything."

"She doesn't know all of it," I answer automatically. Raina understood people better than most, and I had a feeling it was because of what she'd been through.

"She knows enough," Cam says. "I get it now, really. I'm sorry I didn't believe you before."

"I missed you every day." I suddenly feel the urge to confess it all to him. "Ridley took control of my mind, Cam. My body too. He made me murder our friends. Innocent people I don't even know are dead because of me. He took me away from my home and my family, and turned me against them. I had no life anymore. What I did...those things can't ever be undone, even though I wish they could. I wish I'd never hurt you, or Ettie, or your mother like that. I loved you, and I still do, but now I know it's time for you kids to go your separate ways. I missed you growing up. I missed the chance to save your mother's life. She's the only girl I've ever loved, I think. And because of me, I've ruined any shot we had at being happy."

Cam says nothing, only widens his eyes slightly. I follow his line of sight, seeing Raina standing in the doorway. Tears are streaming down her face, and her whole body trembles.

"Raina." I stand, even though my knees are weak at the sight of her. "I'm sorry."

"I know," she says, so quietly I barely hear her. "So am I."

I walk towards her, and she allows it. Time's ravaged her: lines radiate from the corners of her eyes, her cheeks are hollow, her body lean. I notice gray hair peppering the blonde, and as she meets my gaze head-on, I see nothing but the strain of a just-scraping-by existence.