Good Luck, Babe! - Leah Williamson

29. Bittersuite

Leah's POV.

I sit there, my hands clenched in my lap, trying to steady the storm of thoughts swirling in my head. Rachel's words still echo in my mind.

"I'll just tell her we slept together," Rachel says, her voice so calm, like she's already made up her mind about everything. The thought hits me like a punch to the gut.

I look at her, confused and a little panicked. "But that's not true, is it?" I ask, my voice quieter than I mean for it to be. I don't know what's happening between Rachel and me, but I know this isn't it.

Rachel shrugs, her eyes hard and calculating. "It might hurt less than the truth. You know how Ella is, Leah. She'll freak out more if she finds out what really happened."

The words hit me like a brick. The truth. I don't even know where to begin. The truth is tangled, messy, and I don't know how to untangle it. I thought I had it all figured out when I started seeing Ella, but now... I'm just lost.

I stare ahead, trying to process, but all I can feel is the weight of everything that's happened. The night at the club, when everything fell apart between Josh, Ella and me, and then Rachel, who came into the picture as a distraction, a way to move on. But now, sitting here with Rachel, it feels like it's all falling apart in ways I didn't expect.

Rachel's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "You can't pretend nothing's been going on. It's easier to lie and tell her we slept together than tell her the truth, Leah. Trust me. It'll hurt her less."

I shake my head slowly, not sure what's happening anymore. "I can't," I whisper. "I can't lie about that."

Rachel's eyes narrow. "But you can't fix this either, can you? The moment you made things messy with Ella, you knew you had to pick a side. You can't go back to what you had with her. Not after everything. Might as well just come clean now and make it easier."

I feel the sting of her words. She's right, but it doesn't make it any easier to hear. I look down at my hands, my fingers trembling. What's the truth, really? I've been so focused on pushing Ella away that I never gave myself the chance to think about what I really want. And now Rachel's here, and I don't even know where she fits into all of this.

I exhale slowly, trying to steady myself. "Rachel... we never slept together," I say, the words tasting like ashes in my mouth.

She tilts her head, an almost amused smile crossing her lips. "I know. But that doesn't matter now, does it? It's all a mess anyway. Why not just protect yourself and make it easier on her?"

Her words hit me like a slap. What the hell have I gotten myself into? My stomach churns, guilt mixing with the confusion. It's true, though. Everything has been a mess. The fight with Josh in the club, the way Ella pulled away from me afterward, the way I turned to Rachel for comfort. It all feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from.

I push myself up from the chair, pacing a little, my mind racing. "I don't know... I just can't do this. I can't lie to her. Not about this."

Rachel stands, walking over to me, her expression hardening. "You're making this harder than it has to be," she says, her voice sharp. "Just tell Ella you've moved on. It's better for both of you."

The words cut deeper than I expect, but something inside me refuses to give in to them. "I can't," I say again, more firmly this time. "I can't do that to her."

Rachel sighs, clearly frustrated. "You're so stubborn," she mutters, walking past me toward the door. "Fine. Guess I'll handle this myself."

The door slams behind her, and I'm left standing there, feeling empty. Rachel's right, in some ways. The more I think about it, the more I realise that I've messed up everything with Ella. I was so focused on moving on, on pushing her away, that I didn't stop to think about what I actually wanted. Then she came to me to initiate a relationship and it knocked me for six.