Back For You (on going)

that night

Lily's POV

I finally got home I was crying the entire car ride. I opened the door and Josh was laying  on the sofa watching TV.

"So what happened your back early?" Josh question as he sat up.

"I'm so fucking stupid." I said and ran to my room. I heard Josh run after me. I locked my rokm door and was crying my eyes out.

"Babe are you ok?" Josh said from the other side of the door sounding worried.

"Why do people choose to stay by my side even after I screw up." I said loud enough for him to hear me.

"The same reason you stick by people who hurt you. It's because you love them. They stick by you because they love you. I love you. Can you please open the door I don't like seeing you like this. We can talk about whatever happened over there." Josh said softly.  I opened the door because I knew he was the only one who could understand me at this moment. As soon as I opened the door Josh gave me a big hug and I started to cry even more.

_____

Josh and I were in the living room laying down. I was finally calm enough and I stopped shaking and crying. Josh had his arms wrapped around me and he made me feel so protected. We were just sitting there in complete silent.

"Do you remember the day we met?" I asked him softly breaking the silence.

"Sweetheart of course I do. But are you sure you want to talk about it." Josh said hugging me tighter.

"I want to tell the boys, Caroline and Susan about it." I told him. My voice was still shaking from crying.

"Ok if that's what you really want." Josh said.

"I want to go today. I don't want to waist another minute. If they know what happened I know they'll understand me a lot better. " I told him. He got up and brought me to my feet.

"Lets go then. If this is what will make you feel better then let's go now." He smiled at me warmly and lead me to his car. The entire ride to the boys flat Josh didn't let go of my hand.

We finally arrived at the flat that I had just left about an hour and a half ago. We both knocked at the door and Susan opened it. She saw me and gave me a big hug.

"I was worried sick." Susan told me.

" Do you think you could get the boys down here?" I asked her. She nodded and went upstairs.

"We're going to tell them everything ok?" I told Josh who was right next to me. He was holding my hand tight.

"Ok if that's what you want." He said relaxed. The boys were already down stairs we all sat in the living room.  There was a long moment when we were all silent.

"Well this is my boy friend Josh, Josh these are my best friends Liam, Louis, Zayn, Niall and my ex Harry." I introduced them they all shook hands. But when Josh and Harry shook hands there was tention in the room.

"Nice to meet you all." Josh said.

"We met a few months after you guys left on tour. I was at a club alone I remember I was only going to be there for a while but I don't know what happened. I ended up staying longer then I should have. Next thing I know I'm in a dark alley.  I yelled for help because I was confused and I didn't know what was going on. Josh was passing by so he went in the alley and got me. I was hurt and bruised every where.  I was I wad scratched and cut.  He took me to a hospital and started to check if i was ok. He's  a doctor in that hospital and personally took care of me. I was evaluated and it turns out that the same night Josh found me was the same night  I was raped. I started having nightmares and flash backs. Me and Josh became friends and he helped me through it all. He was always by my side and he made me feel protected. It started of with me having nightmares and I'd call him and we'd talk until I felt better. But then things got worse. It came to the point where he had to stay with me so I wouldn't harm myself. He was so helpful and he would make me smile. We got to know eachother and we had a lot in common. One thing led to another and we started dating. When all this was happening I lost contract with everyone. I stopped messaging and calling zayn. Caroline and Susan would sometimes come over here because it reminded them of you guys and they would spend the night. They would invite me over but I couldnt. I eventually became distant with them as well. They stayed here and i did my own thing with Josh at my house. But you guys know I'm very sorry for everything. I love all of you and if you ever felt like I didn't care trust me I do care." I explained everything to them and they looked at me with sympathetically.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you." Zayn got up and knelt in front of me.  He started to cry and I don't think I've ever seen him cry.

"There was nothing you could have done about it. Please Zayn get up, I don't want you to blame yourself." I lifted him up and he hugged me.

"I promised you I'll always be there, I won't let anyone lay a finger on you." He said.

"I don't want anyone to blame themselves. I've learned to live with it, of course it's hard but I'm slowly getting better emotionally. So please don't treat me any diffrent." I asked them. They all got up and hugged me. They all stared telling me how they love me. Once that was all over we sat down and started to talk.

"Lilly can you sleep over today? Its been so long that Susan, you and I don't hang out. Please" Caroline asked me. I looked over to Josh to see if he was ok with it and he smiled and nodded.

"Babe theses are your friends and I don't want you to not hang out with them because of me. Go ahead stay I won't mind." Josh smiled and gave me a kiss in the forhead.

"Are you sure?" I really didn't want to stay if this meant that Josh would be jealous or something.

"Lily I trust you and I love you." He held my and and we both stood up.

"I trust and love you as well." We both kissed and then my cheeks turned red. I remembered we were in front of everyone.

"I should be going now I work tomorrow." I walked him to the door and he gave me one last kiss before leaving. I closed the door and everyone was stating at me.

"Awww" Caroline and Susan said at the same time.

"That was so romantic. The way you two kissed like you two were the only ones in the room." Susan said smiling like a little hugging a cute little puppy.

"How long have you too been dating?" Harry asked me. Everyone looked surprised and I have to admit it I was a bit surprised as well. But I decided that answering his question wouldn't hurt.

"We've been going out for five months." I said smiling.

"Well he seems like a complete idiot." Harry said rudely. 

"Why?" I said.

"Why what?" He rolled his eyes and started to walk away.

"For once all I want is for me and you to talk. Just talk Harry about everything that happened.  I want to be adults about and just talk. Without yelling and no crying, especially no jealousy. Can we at least do that?" I grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him back.

"No, we have nothing to talk about. You have your life and I have mine. I'll stay out of your life and you'll stay out of mine.  There is nothing more we can talk about. " Harry sounded angry, he tried hiding it but he did a horrible job at it.

"How can we stay out of eachothers lives when you and I have the same friends. We'll be seeing eachother more often then you think." I told him. But he started to walk away like  little kid.

"Fine have it your way." I said as he started walking up stairs.