Oneirataxia 1: Dreamcatchers

Chapter 4: What made me special

"You've got strength in you, more than you realize. The world isn't kind, and those who can't keep up or outmaneuver others will always be left behind. Remember this, kid: anyone who can't beat you is beneath you. Don't waste your time on them. Learn to stand on your own, and use every advantage you have to stay ahead. You have to be ruthless, even if it means cutting others down. This world rewards the strong and punishes the weak. Don't ever forget that."

I watched as my dad bid his farewell on that December night. He didn't even approach me as he said his goodbye, even though there's a huge possibility that we'll never meet again. My grandmother caressed my arms as she also watched my father enter the cab, looking nonchalantly as he pulled out his phone to make a call. As the rear lights slowly faded in front of me, I felt as if something had changed in me; the will to learn, my innate strength, and everything else had been changed.

I was always curious about everything, from the rocks and the blue sky and how eyes work. Even though my questions served no purpose, my mother patiently indulged my endless questions, never tiring of listening to me. She nurtured my thirst for knowledge, helping me learn faster than any other kid my age.

While my academic achievements were impressive, they came at a cost. My curiosity, which had fueled my learning, also isolated me. I preferred doing things on my own, believing that everyone would appreciate my efforts. But instead, my classmates began to dislike me. They avoided working with me, afraid I would take over and leave them feeling like liabilities. I never saw them that way—I just wanted to learn more.

One day, while my mother was walking me out at the park, I asked her "Mom, why am I different from other kids? Bakit nila ako pinagtatawanan kapag marami akong tanong kay teacher? Bawal po ba magtanong ng marami sa teacher?"

She immediately stopped in her tracks as her brain processed what I just said. For me, it was just a normal question, but it seems like it's more of a serious matter for her. After a few moments, she kneeled in front of me, let out a big sigh, and said "Bakit naman magiging masama ang pagiging matatatanungin? Of course not, Taci. Kaya lang naman sila tumatawa sa 'yo kasi ang akala nila ay sapat na ang naintindihan nila. Pero ano ang palagi kong sinasabi sa 'yo?"

She held my hand and led me to a bench that's facing the whole park. From there, you can see the food stalls, playgrounds, and the picnic spots. The park sure was lively that day since it was a Sunday morning.

"Learning has no limits. It only depends on how prepared you are to learn something new." I answered proudly. That quote had always been the foundation of my eagerness to learn. It is because of those words, I have grown not to be afraid to learn new things, whether it may be bad or good.

"Good job! Here's a candy for the brainy one!" She handed me a blue lollipop from her pocket. I joyfully took it and immediately put it in my mouth.

Looking at the kids running around the park, I reflected on what my mother had told me. "It only depends on how prepared you are..." thinking about it, more questions loomed within me: Is learning supposed to be scary? Is it supposed to be frowned upon by everyone? And that's when another thought sparked in my clueless mind.

"Mom, why don't I feel scared to learn new things?". Hearing that, my mother looked at me, touched my cheeks, and made me look at the kids playing around.

"Tell me kung anong ginagawa ng mga kids na nakikita mo" I looked at them, thought of a fitting response, and answered "They are playing?" My mother looked dissatisfied and raised one brow so I thought of a better answer.

I pondered for a second and panned my view. Seeing their happiness fill the whole park, I wondered if they want to know the world as deeply as I would. I thought that maybe, looking at the sky and the trees makes them question their purpose to our way of living.