Venting

.....

So like, yk,

Uhm
.....

Father is uhm.....

A little.....

Diferente from what he was in the past

And uhm....

.....
.....
.....

He has been weird when it comes to my body ....

Should I be worried?

I should.

Should I ask for help?

I should.

Will I do?

....

No.

Why? Don't you have to report to the police?

I do. But if I do that. My family. Won't be happy or either be able to survive.

Why is that?

My mother gains rlly poorly while my father gets the most. And if I want to be happy my family won't be.

I know I can express those things to my friends for help. But I feel like that.... If I tell them.... I will feel more guilty of myself.

Why am I writing this?

If makes me calm and don't feel guilty

Why to online strangers?

For some reason, online people make me more comfortable then when its in real life, for example, my therapist didn't really do things to my psychology and mentality, but when I start to express myself online, there are a lot of people to help, as I do the same

PLEASE, understand that if I try hard, it won't be good,

And if I try to be lazy, either are not good.

I hate myself for that, as for my family

And for my father.

I hope he dies and goes to jail as he sees me as a sexualizes toy for touching my thighs, butt and even threat me with physical damage, I hate him for everything, but there is one thing I don't want him to do.

DO.
THE
FUCKING.
SAME.
THING.
TO.
MY.
YOUNGER.
SIBLINGS.

if I FUCKING SEE HIM DO, I WONT HESITATE TO CALL THE FUCKING POLICE AND I DONT FUCKING CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO ME OR MY MOTHER, MY SIBLINGS CANNOT GO TO THE SAME TRAUMA AS I AM GOING.

-sigh-

As I am writing this.
Everything from my life has become terrible. I wish, I was still a kid, like my father and mother wants, still the things i saw on my fathers phone doesn't change the fact i still hate him.

This is a goodbye from this chapter, see you in some day or not.